web analytics
Menu Close

3 worst things in the world: HGTV, Leash laws and Donald Trump

HGTV wins my award for the worst thing in the world. I now live in a funeral parlor. Every single thing in my house is black or tan. The floors, walls, curtains same color tan. Everything else is black: All furniture, cabinets, tables, chairs and the big wall bookcase. Which was mahogany but spray painted black as was every piece of oak furniture. There is also no single piece of anything reflecting nature. No wood grain, no shell, no plant. All wall paintings have been replaced by black wrought iron geometry. Every single dab of color has been sucked from my life. Even colored book covers in the bookcase have been removed.  Why?  The default channel in the bedroom is HGTV.

Leash Laws are the next worst thing in the world.  This concerns 40 years of pacifist, perfectly behaved and loving Golden Retrievers.

Did you know that you can no longer through a ball or a stick for a dog in the United States? Not at a park, not at a beach, not at a lake, not in front of your house, nowhere other than a dog park where a dozen other dogs get the ball before yours does. And both my dog parks have a large so called LAKE which is in fact a giant mud puddle. I have been ticketed for taking my dog from the front door to the car without a leash. I have been ticketed extensively for my dogs playing basketball with the kids in my own yard without a leash.  I have gone to every beach in Texas and tried throwing a ball into the surf to be either approached by busybodies who call 911 unless I leash the dog. Which I refuse and they make the call.

I went to my local Galveston Bay beach for sunrise last week. I was the only one on the beach, throwing the ball, and suddenly a blaring screeching voice PUT YOUR DOG ON A LEASH IMMEDIATELY.  A police SUV with a sound system behind me.  Why? It is threefold. First are potential poops, then too many macho morons with pitbulls and rottweilers and a culture gone snowflake.

And lastly, LASTLY, President Buffoon Donald Trump which speaks for itself.

Special mention to Spongebob Square Pants which my wife puts on an endless streaming loop on all TVs when the grandkids are here, which is often. We need a floating wall to keep Spongebob Square Pants underwater where he belongs.