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400 Men Cut Off Own Testicles, God Implicated

400 Men Cut Off Own Testicles, God Implicated

Bombastic Indian guru, multimillionaire and (now)  movie action hero, Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh is in the news, this time it is for convincing 400 followers to cut off their family jewels because, the men claim,  the (obviously) persuasive guru told them  “Only those who get castrated will be able to meet God.” That is commitment my friends. We in this country wince when the collection plate passes by.  Call me suspicious, but frankly I’m astonished that none of the men first asked Singh if he’d achieved his relationship with God via castration before enduring the painful operation themselves.  It would be a rhetorical question anyway, because if ever anyone was still in possession of big brass ones, it’s this guy. The sneaky rascal had all of the bases covered. There would be no pesky questions from medical personnel, because he owns the hospital where the butchery occurred.   We still don’t know why Singh selected the 400 out of his 40 to 50 thousand followers world-wide, who weren’t offered a chance to know God more fully.

Singh is said to be worth $40 million dollars, which pales compared to Pat Robertson, who comes in at a cool $200 million. I find this to be a terrifying fact, when it is disclosed that Singh has been literally getting away with murder due to his riches. Think of what Pat could do with a little imagination. ( God told me to look it up) okay?  Singh may soon be sharing his wealth  with the 400 , as he is accused of ‘doing grievous bodily harm’ by India’s Central Bureau of Investigation, which is only just now pursuing charges  for the surgeries which ocured in the year 2000.
In an interview to plug his movie Singh addressed the charges.  “Such allegations disturb me, when I am doing good for humanity. Therefore me and my legal adviser are going to move the court challenging the allegations.” It isn’t as if he has a choice in the matter .

Singh is like the Teflon Don but sleazier. Along with the four hundred castrations, he is   facing charges for the murder of a newspaper editor in 2002. He also faces several charges of sexual exploitation and assault  by female followers.

It is not difficult to believe that The Guru of Bling  has escaped prosecution thus far due to his immense popularity, (and money perhaps) which gives him influence over India’s politicians. The leverage has allowed him to escape prosecution thus far. It seems some things are universal, and we had better get serious about campaign finance reform in this country, or the Koch Brothers will be starring in action movies and castrating at the drop of a hat.

He is called the ‘Braveheart Saint of India’ in his film, and the ‘Guru of Bling’ in real life, you’ll fully understand the ‘bling’ reference when you watch the video trailer for his movie, ‘MSG: The Messenger’ which purportedly documents real life miracles performed by Rahim. The film shows the guru tearing tree trunks in half with his bare hands and walking on air. He’s also seen kicking a lot of butt by improbable methods. His is not the way of the peaceful warrior. All of this goes on with cheering stadiums full of people…This ‘cowboy sees a million faces and rocks ’em all.’ Meanwhile, professional Bollywood dancers twirl on stage between  pyrotechnic displays.

The 47-year-old ‘holy man’  seems to be more worried about the effect all of this legal annoyance is having on his film, than the suffering he’s caused.  The spectacle opened to record-breaking crowds, but attendance has taken a nose-dive since the castration case and other charges have been revealed.  Check out the Guru of Bling in action…It sure isn’t  “Bride or Prejudice”  “Monsoon Wedding” or ‘The Marigold Hotel”  movies which have brought a wave of wedding tourism to India. This stinker might keep  desirable tourists far away.