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Al Qaeda calls off U.S. attack to spare life of Twilight author


Al-Qaeda Calls Off Attack On Nation’s Capitol To Spare Life Of ‘Twilight’ Author

The Onion News Network’s terrorism expert Omar Al-Farouq explains why the teen vampire series – which Mitt Romney also claims to watch, is a favorite of the boys and men of Al-Qaeda. The likelihood of either one of the above being true is equally doubtful.

However, Al-Farouq claims that they have called off a major attack on the nation’s capitol in order to preserve the life of the author of the series Stephenie Meyer, thus saving the lives of thousands. Art touches everyone. From now on the Neilson ratings people might be wise to include high ranking Al Qaeda members as part of their ratings family.