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Americans Angry over complicated Syria questions, Onion week in review

syria angerDazed and confused. Complicated questions. We are a nation torn,  to bomb or not to bomb, to twerk or not to twerk and perhaps the most ubiquitous issue of our time, text or voice? Are you a good enough pal to talk to? Or just a lowly acquaintance that is text only?

I am reminded of an good old movie, The Hustler, where a guy got his thumbs broke for bad texting or something.

And while I am on the subject… Please people, change your voice message. I know that your cell phone or smart phone is in your pocketses. So when you say “I am not here right now…” Just where the fck are you?  My guess is the Firmament. Which should be capitalized. It’s were God lives, and kills everyone, because a weak man took an apple from a bad woman. And to this day women be bad witches and hos who need to be put in black sacks.

You know what I would like to see? Burka Twerking!