Victoria Osteen all Oiled Up and ready to go

I remember hearing during both the 2000 and 2004 presidential elections that George W. Bush won the Evangelical vote (which is the reason we have had to suffer this President of Duh for 8 years) because he spoke their language. And what a strange language it is.

The first case in point in the Victoria Osteen courtroom victory aftermath was this evangelical language ditty she uttered, "God, the only thing you are looking for is obedience!" The only thing? Wow! I am sure the world of Rap music enjoys Victoria's basis of Christianity being dem hos do what they be told.

But the real disconnect I had was when she said that over the three years the case was going on "I would anoint myself with oil, I felt like, I wish I  could go in and just anoint that whole courtroom." Osteens thank supporters during Lakewood service

This anointing business came up a few years ago when we had a Christian Evangelical Fundamentalist as Attorney General, John Ashcroft. He would regularly anoint himself with cooking oil whenever he changed jobs.

I wonder what Victoria uses in her self anointings? I would suppose at home,like Ashcroft, it would be whatever is available in the oil cooking cupboard. What about when out and about and suddenly needing anointing in a restaurant? I suppose we could assume that it would be oil with a bit of vinegar added? I wonder if she tries to keep it out of her hair? Does that matter? At the Olive Garden does she just grab the salad dressing and liberally pour it over her head? Or does she lean way back in the chair and gently pour it only on her forehead? 

I had most fun imagining Victoria oiling up the entire courtroom. Visions of oil cans and grease guns. It was an overflow crowd you know.  For an entire week, hundreds of people cheering for the Lord. And of course being obedient which is all that really matters to Him. I suppose to anoint as many as 500 people a day Victoria would have needed at least a few quarts of 10W30 or perhaps a barrel of Sweet Texas Crude.

Have to run now, I am late for an anointment.