KicK! Making Politics Fun

I am somehow certain that when Mitt Romney relayed this story to the Boston Globe, he was thinking this would show his cool and efficient crisis management abilities. Instead, this touching tale of a family vacation may well lose votes for him. The article last week certainly got people talking. Unfortunately for him, and for his Irish Setter Seamus, it was negative, and deservedly so in my personal opinion and in the opinion of animal rights activists, news agencies, and bloggers everywhere.

In 1983 he loaded the station wagon for a 12 hour family trip from Boston to Ontario. The Romneys loaded up the kiddies, then the Mittster put Seamus into a kennel lashed to the top of his station wagon. Uncomfortable and stressed, Seamus had a natural reaction, one any of us might have if riding in a cage atop a car on the freeway. When son Tagg observed a brown runoff on the back windshield, otherwise known as diarrhea, Romney calmly stopped and hosed dog, kennel, and car down with cold water. I doubt this added to the comfort of Seamus.

Ingrid Newkirk, of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, told Time magazine's "Swampland" blog:

"If you wouldn't strap your child to the roof of your car, you have no business doing that to the family dog!"

"Massachusetts animal cruelty laws specifically prohibit anyone from carrying an animal `in or upon a vehicle, or otherwise, in an unnecessarily cruel or inhuman manner or in a way and manner which might endanger the animal carried thereon,'" wrote Steve Benen in a post on the blog "Crooks and Liars." Romney dismissed it by saying the dog enjoyed riding atop the car, even looked forward to it.

I say we strap Romney atop his campaign bus for `12 hours, and if he’s not feeling well, a hosing of cold water ought to do the trick. Romney Accused Of Mistreating Family Dog ABCNews.com

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Washington, D.C. -- In an unprecedented action, Vice President Dick Cheney Wednesday urged Americans to not buy gasoline on Sunday, July 1st.

“We are looking for a show of solidarity among gasoline consumers throughout America, “Cheney declared at a $10,000 a plate Ken Lay Memorial Fund charity dinner.

The announcement is all the more surprising as Mr. Cheney has been accused by many of profiteering, insider deals, and influence peddling based on his stature as ex-president and CEO of Halliburton, the largest government contractor and a major supplier of energy related goods and services.

Experts speculate the announcement may be a smokescreen for an actual upsurge in gasoline purchasing.

Cheney went on to say, “What I want all Americans to do is go out and fill up their cars, lawn mowers, boats, ATVs, power lawn trimmers, airplanes, and any other toys that use internal combustion engines on June 30th, and then to be sure to top them off on July 2nd. "

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“Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for you country.” JFK

Kick! Bill #001 - All Americans upon their 18th birthday will begin an 18 month commitment to federal service in the military or a work project paid at the average yearly individual income. There will be six months of training and one year of appointment. No person under 30 shall be put in combat.

Our kids need a kick in the pants regarding service to others. Many nations have such requirements to gain educational and employment benefits after completion. In fact about the only good thing about the Mormon religion is the two year commitment each member must serve in a foreign territory when they turn eighteen. We need a viable option for our children other than the streets or the frontline of some damn war some damn nitwit got us into.

Sending kids into combat to die who haven’t had a taste of life - especially for political reasons like Vietnam and Iraq - is about as wrong as it gets. Though the reasoning is obvious, kids don’t know any better. It would be nice to limit combat duty to only those over 50, but that would cause our military to have to schedule far too many naps and troops unable to carry anything heavier than a briefcase. At least the thirty-somethings have enough life experience to decide whether some far off war is worth chancing their life for. Not to worry about filling the ranks! The barbaric nature of this country will supply enough cannon fodder with those who so enjoy the smell of blood.

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Check out our spinoff site for more People are Strange (funebrity.com)

Did you ever suspect the guy in the white coat with the pointy tools was a dimwit and a crook? I’ll bet you tried to banish those thoughts from your mind, being in a rather vulnerable position.

One New York dentist, is either a liar, or he has a most unusual patient, and breaks all land speed records for filling teeth. You see, he billed Medicaid for filling 52 teeth in a patient’s mouth in the space of one hour, he then claimed he worked on two other patients. This should set Medicaid patients teeth on edge as they struggle to even obtain treatment or medications prescribed by their doctors. Seems the diabolical dentist has been absolutely free of legal problems for the entire 30 years he’s been in practice. The only reason this came to the attention of the comptrollers for Medicaid was because of a story in the Post and the Health Dept. which supervises Medicaid. It’s his turn to have an inspection, thirty years worth. Medicaid, though slow, is not amused.

As for his filling of 52 teeth in one patient, rather than the usual 32. I rather like my scam artists to at least be aware of how many teeth are in the human mouth, it shows a bit of basic knowledge, and builds my confidence ever so much! Dentist probed for filling 52 cavities Facebook | Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article |

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Dear President Bush,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's law. I have learned a great deal from you and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them:

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not to Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They
claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states that he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that, even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I
don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there "degrees" of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole  town together to stone them (Lev. 24:10-16)? Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people
who sleep with their in-laws (Lev.20:14)?

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

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Not long ago we were getting all day cable news on the search for a cop killer in Central Florida. Well, they got the guy, they really really got the guy. The news was that he had popped up out of the brush only a few feet away from the swat team, and though he raised one hand, he had the dead officer’s .45 in his other. He was shot and killed on the spot.

Autopsy: SWAT hit man 68 times Houston Chronicle - Lakeland Fla - Officers fired 110 round of ammunition at…

Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said he was not concerned by the number of shots fired. “I suspect the only reason 110 rounds was all that was fired was that’s all the ammunition they had.” He said.

This is what I have come to believe is our most central American problem. In this case it is the profound joy Sheriff Judd found in sharing his profound vengeful violence with us all. From that pleasant quote, I find myself wondering had they 30,000 rounds whether coroners can do autopsies on wet spots.

Related to this sad state of affairs, it presents itself down here in Huntsville. In the shadow of the death chamber on an almost weekly since Cowboy George became Governor, very self professed Christians congregate to promote and delight in the execution of some poor soul. It is neither evolution in our schools, queers getting married, BJs or having enough Taliban in our soup that defiles us, but rather this dark streak of barbarianism which seems to have become embedded in our genetic code. We need more Mexicans to enter our gene pool up here, bus them in, and hurry before this clown in the White House begins WWIII.

It's plain to see that since conservatives took control of all branches of our government,and the election process itself, we have added torture to the lexicon of our floundering reputation. Here seem to be the REAL five Traditional Christian American Family Values: Starting wars, executions, guns, Rottweillers and torture. I buy my gas at CITCO.

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Great gourmet cook that I am, (pause for anyone who knows me to snicker), I feel it my duty to see this country first hand, then share what I’ve experienced with you upon my return. Since a quick check of the sofa cushions didn’t reveal plane fare, I’ll just share what I’ve discovered via the news. I’m guessing I’m not the only one anxious to travel since learning of some of the other perks of this lovely country... Yes, it’s always been a beautiful destination. Still, I believe that when word gets out about their hospitality, fine food, and exotic herbs, they’ll experience a tourist surge.
Indonesians may rightly brag about their hot curries, traditional dishes, and even coffee with a special flavoring that you just can’t quite put your finger on. You can’t figure it out, unless you know that good ol’ Mary Jane has been doing a lot of Indonesian cooking for some time, especially in the westernmost province of Aceh where they’ve used fresh marijuana leaves and seeds in curries and coffee as a flavoring.
Oddly, marijuana is still an illegal drug, in the same category as heroin and cocaine. No change in that law is in sight, in the world’s most highly populated Muslim nation. There are strict penalties for drug users and traffickers, so get that idea out of your mind right now! Vice president Kalla is not unreasonable, and sees no reason to penalize those who use it for cooking, but does not foresee a time when it will ever be legalized. It is reasonable enough to use for cooking. A kilogram grown in the lush mountains can be purchased for around $5.50 U.S. dollars.Book now, and enjoy it during your stay! IndonesianVPOkaysPotForCooking             
Agence France Presse. 6/27/07/2007

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Elizabeth Edwards takes on the Bitch Slut Ann Coulter for saying she wished terrorists had killed John Edwards, that he  was a "faggot" and for making fun of the death of their teenage son.

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A recent poll by the Progessive Institute for the Squalid, a liberal think tank located in Hortense, South Carolina announced its findings on youth attitudes Sunday last.

“There is a significant trend toward American youth developing a greater respect for both adults and authority,” declared D. Rawlings Lister, Co-chair of the committee to discover respect in youth.

On hand was Teddy Stemple, 15, one of the adolescents polled in the survey. Stemple pointed out that he has “ a deep and abiding respect for members of the Bush administration that consistently break the law and violate the constitution and get away with it.”

Stemple also listed ‘Major League Baseball players on steroids, NBA stars that take drugs and beat women, and the NFL players who get high and fight,” as not only adults worthy of respect, but also true positive role models.

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Samantha Bee on the Daily Show explains the mathamatics of Vice President Dick Cheney's place on the Supreme Court.

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