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Tuesday, July 31. 2007Internet Feud Sparks Violence
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| When a President chooses the top celebrity Right-wing star of the Fox News Network as the spokesman for his administration, George W Bush and Tony Snow [cancer or not] both deserve big kicks in the nuts at every opportunity. |
Those who haven’t heard of the most recent salvo in the war on loitering gang bangers may not believe their ears when driving near the Tacoma Mall. If all goes as planned they’ll hear Beethoven, Bach, and Vivaldi rather than loud gangsta rap. They may even roll the window down slightly on their tightly locked door to make sure they’re not hallucinating.Washington, DC -- In what had to be his third or fourth appearance (who can keep track), before the Senate Judiciary Committee, to give testimony about the Attorney General firings scandal, little Alberto Gonzales once again lowered the bar on truthfulness. A bar that was already flat on the floor from his previous testimony. And this guy after all, is the chief law enforcement officer in the country, the United States Attorney General.
As we sat watching his performance on C-SPAN, our jaws agape from the abusurdity of his non answers, one in our group remarked, "this can't be real, its gotta be a skit from The Daily Show."
It was truly remarkable to watch this little man with the big smug look on his face completely stonewall the members of the Judiciary Committee with lies and obfuscations to the point where even republican members of the committee were shaking their heads in disbelief.
Perjury is a serious crime, as ol' Scooter Libby discovered, and our group was astounded that Gomey would so obviously expose himself to this charge, not to mention the ridicule that would surely follow. Why we wondered, would he allow himself to be used in a manner that could only be seen as an effort to protect the White House, regardless of the consequences to himself? This man will never be taken seriously again, with perhaps the exception of a few ideologues. Who could live with that?
Our best guess is that either he has been compromised in crimes far greater than have been speculated to date, or simply that he knows he just has to carry Bush's water for 18 more months and retire into obscurity with a big payoff. Either way it's clear he doesn't have to worry about impeachment or being charged with perjury, the LPS (Libby pardon solution), will take care of that.
Someone out there must have a more astute political read on this. Why would Gonzales subject himself to such political infamy for eternity? What are we missing?
Dumbass, Tx - Mason and Jason Porter, the 25 year old sons of the Rev. Ray Porter and his Dallas ministry have been miming evangelical Christianity now for 8 years. After reading this upbeat article the obvious becomes more obvious. If Television Evangelists along with every Christian fundamentalist ministry, PAC, Lobby, and most importantly the thousands of Christian radio stations across America would pick up on this great idea, what a kind, pleasant, reasonable and quiet society we could make of things. Full Story…
Nutzoid, N.H. – Residents in the small town of Plainfield, N.H. have had it with Ed Brown who with his wife Elaine refuse to pay taxes on Elaine’s Dentistry income of $2 million dollars. With the influx of heavily armed Libertarian supporters to the Brown’s compound, including members of the Aryan Nations, The Klan, the NRA, perhaps Grover Norquist, the militias and celebrity Ayran Nation supporter Randy Weaver - the NRA hero who was given a $3 million dollar reward for killing a federal agent by some crazyass judge in Montana – the people of Plainfield are telling authorities to GO IN and get it over with.
The standoff has been going on now for over six months since the Browns’ have refused to serve their 60 month conviction of tax evasion. This has filled the small rural area with the most crazyass heavily armed nitwits America has to offer. Even the libertarian leaning LIVE FREE OR DIE people of New Hampshire are now okay with the DIE part of that for the Brown’s and company.
Over the weekend supporters for the Browns’ on site and throughout the nation - with the call to arms of various radical blogs and websites - have overloaded local phone lines with reports of about a 100 rounds of gunfire directed at the compound. Neighbors and police say it’s a complete fabrication which the gun nuts are using to try and draw the authorities in for their planed and hoped for shootout.
Like Koresh and Weaver before them, the Browns’ make it understood that they will die in a hail of gunfire rather than suffer themselves to the Rule of Law. Full Story...
You have to admit, it's kinda fun to sit and watch the republican party pander to the religiously insane, by far the cornerstone of their base. It's estimated that 25% of Americans are very religious, attending church at least once a week, or about the same percentage of Americans that still give Bush a positive approval rating. Coincidence?
It's been reported that Bush felt his dad lost the '92 election to Clinton because poppy more or less blew off what he called the extra X chromosomers of the republican party. Regardless of your views, you have to admit 25% of the population is a pretty strong starting position in a national election. And play to this crowd Bush did; faith based initiative, gay marriage amendment, stem cell research veto, answering to a "higher father," and my all-time favorite, kicking his booze and coke habit through faith, whatever that means.
Bush rallied the nation to arms after 9/11 to fight the evil-doers who brought down the WTC towers killing almost three thousand innocents. He promised a crusade, which was not a particularly good choice of words considering the Muslims have been sensitive to it going back centuries when they fought King Richard and his crusaders. Now they face another King George. No, not the one America faced down in the War of Independence, but another George who's inventing presidential powers a king could only dream of having. In other words, centuries of hate between Muslims and Christians are now again at the forefront of crisis because it's so easy to interpret religious writings to your own ideological or theological bent.
For example, Christians who believe in the Bible verbatim, don't have a handy answer when asked who was the on the spot reporter who jotted down the conversation between Adam and Eve in Genesis. Nor do they have an explanation that there is no mention of dinosaurs. How can the good book miss something as big as the dinosaurs?
Muslims on the other hand, with the Koran in the very same hand, and even though it says no such thing, promise 72 black-eyed virgins to martyrs. Well, if I was a 16 year old teenage boy, with zero prospects, how much more convincing would I need to blow myself up?
What's particularly scary about this is that there are six billion people on this planet; 2.3 billion are Christians and 1.3 billion are Muslims. That's over three quarters of our population and they're all crazy. They're crazy because they believe things that nobody can prove. When someone says they've talked to God, or Jesus, or Allah, or Buddha, do you believe them? Has God or one of these other deities every talked to you? (Don't answer that). Or are you just a tiny bit suspicious that when these guys; Jerry Fallwell (RIP), Roberson, Dobson, Roberts tell you they've just gotten off the phone with God and He's instructed them to ask you for more money?
Religion, as the founding fathers foresaw, was not the solution but the problem. Many of them were either atheist or agnostic. And before we forget to mention it, the 4th largest religious category is, "non-believer." The point is, our founding fathers were actually quite clever in recognizing how dangerous religion could be, that there should be a separation between church and state. Bush and Rove have shamelessly usurped this constitutional separation for political advantage. To them it has always been about chasing that 25% of the electorate who are religiously insane, just to stay in power.
No one wants to make fun of anyone’s faith, whatever it happens to be, but let’s stop treading water and come up for some air here. Faith based is nothing more or nothing less than voo doo horseshit because not one person on this planet has a clue how life on Earth started. Anyone who tells you differently either has a financial vested interest, or they’ve been sucked into the vortex of religious insanity.
All of this is controversial, but it should really piss you off that Rove and Bush use religious fears for political advantage. How much more disgusting can it get?
I’ve often wondered what it was about astronauts which made them capable of strapping themselves into a flame shooting projectile. Thanks to the desperate actions of astronaut Lisa Nowak, we may soon find out.
With the recent disagreement between Hillary and Obama regarding talking to the bad guys Hillary not only was declared the winner of the YouTube debate, but has now won the accolades of such Right-wing luminaries as Fred Barnes, Charles Krauthammer and not a few others. With the media portraying this as WAR! - usually with a clip of a heavyweight blood spattering fight going on in a background video - it has become the issue that gave Hillary the win in the debate.
I believe talking to everyone can only help. This has been proved to me many times in my experience on internet debate forums over the years. When a really nasty fight erupts, a phone call or a lunch of some sort between the antagonists always settles it down. Once there is a physical face, body and voice to a confrontation, it becomes much harder to kick someone in the nuts. If JFK had invited Fidel to a pleasant sailing adventure off Martha’s Vineyard rather than sending him an exploding cigar, I am sure things would have turned out much better.
The question I put to you is why conservatives are falling all over themselves sucking up to Hillary Clinton?
Simply that conservative ideology is based on kicking the shit out of people rather than talking to them?
Conservatives want to go up against Hillary rather than Obama because they know they can beat the lesbian leaning Marxist witch?
Or, conservatives being innately sexually retarded, saw the CSPAN clip of her cleavage causing them to use their computer one handed?
Is Hillary hotter than Paris, Britney, Nicole and Lindsay? Does she wear panties? These are the questions that try our soul.
Cleavage has experienced a resurgence for day and evening wear, just..trust me. If you buy this, then obviously cleavage isn’t reason to comment or point, much less feature in a campaign debate, unless the wearer bared neck to navel in an afternoon campaign debate, demonstrating poor taste bordering on mental health problems. Such was not the case with Hillary “Heaving Bosums" Clinton. Hillary did not cross the boundary into either of the above categories at a July 18th campaign debate on education. It must also be noted that I’ve seen nothing, zero, zip about men’s haberdashery, save for the bru-ha-ha over Edwards infamous $400 hair cut. Men can wear the most atrocious ties, but what they say remains the important point.
Rather than send a political reporter, to cover the July 18th campaign debate on education, The birdcage lining favorite, The Washington Post, sent Pulitzer Prize Fashion writer Robin Givhan to cover the event. Cover she did, to the tune of 746 words, all on the topic of Hillary’s modest neckline, modest even by Givhan’s standards, but only after grabbing attention with the words “Hillary Clinton and Cleavage”.
Included is part of this earth shaking revealation. “Clinton wore a rose colored blazer over a black top. The neckline sat low on her chest and had a subtle V-shape. The cleavage registered only after a quick glance” she wrote. “There wasn’t an unseemly amount of cleavage showing, but there it is. Undeniable. It was startling to see that small acknowledgement of sexuality and femininity peeking out of the conservative – aesthetically speaking, environment of Congress.” <GASP!>
I’m happy to report that thousands of outraged readers wrote in and called expressing their displeasure to the Post, who - unfortunately couldn’t have been happier. Does this tell you all you need to know about the Post?
My opinion is that it says much more about the Post, than any candidate they might mention, and a lot about our “news sources”. Whom do you trust when searching for truly important news?
Their ombudsman for The Post admitted the story had nothing to do with whether Hillary should be president, but nearly crowed when stating that it was the most viewed story on the web site all day, as was their recent tripe about Edward’s haircut….and that, friends, is what it’s all about.
Post Fills Void Left By Weekly World News, 7/28/97 AFP
55,000 pediatricians have signed a long term study proving children raised by gay or lesbian couples grew up no worse for wear than kids raised by heterosexual couples. Of course any study that shows conservatives to be either stupid, bigoted or wrong doesn’t count because it comes from the bias of smart people. After all, doctors, lawyers, teachers, journalists, writers, and college professors are all stupid elitists who have not one tattoo, tongue stud, Rhino round, Buck knife or trailer between them.
Danger
This is a call to all America to begin pray vigils asking the Good Lord to protect our great nation through tomorrow's darkness when a routine medical proceedure upon Vice President Dick Cheney will pass the reigns of the Presidency to George W. Bush for approximatly two hours. It is very imporant that we all participate or who knows what may happen? The mindless little boob might get us all into some crazyass endless religious war or something!
Warning
Nobody as VP from 1814-1817 for James Madison
Nobody as VP from 1841-1845 for President Tyler
Nobody as VP from 1850-1853 for Millard Fillmore
Nobody as VP from 1853-1857 for Franklin Pierce
Nobody as VP from 1865-1869 for Andrew Johnson
Nobody as VP from 1881-1885 for Chester Arthur
Nobody as VP from 1885-1889 for Grover Cleveland
Nobody as VP from 1901-1905 for Teddy Roosevelt
Nobody as VP from 1945-1949 for President Truman
In retrospect, the Republican Party 2004 campaign slogan would have still been hyperbole had they gone with a bumper sticker "Cheney. Better than nothing."
The NRA has become the most powerful lobby in America. It is not so much their 4.5 million members, but that they are right-wing activists suffering various degrees of paranoia and consumed with either killing or practicing killing. The AARP may be bigger but the fear factor concerning millions of grandmas on three wheelers spending their time keeping their hearing aids out of the Fixodent, is about nil. But a politician bucking the NRA not only puts their election in doubt, but will generates so many threats that many have to call in the Secret Service or pay for their own protection. So don't be looking for any help in this matter from even a Democratic Congress.
First of all let us not forget the man behind this crazyass law, Todd Tiahrt (R – 2PID). Tiahrt vies with Virgil Goode (R-As 2PID as it Gets) for the top slot as Moron in Congress [Daniel Inhofe has held that slot in the Senate now for over a decade]. A few weeks ago Tiahrt was in the news with another of his crazyass laws dissallowing Needle Exchange Programs in Washington DC [with his nose 2000 miles outside his own district in some blood red state I can't even recall.]. I in the face of all science and all studies that these exchange programs reduce cases of HIV and Hepatitus at no expense to society, Tiahrt explains SOME STUDIES prove otherwise. Indeed I well imagine that if Tiahrt, Virgil Goode, Pat Robertson, and Bozo studied the issue car pooling to a Reverend Moon seminar, they would arrive at whatever results they wanted. This Amendment which is sponsored by the NRA erupts from the same silliness.
The Tiahrt Amendment disallows the ATF to share national criminal gun sales data with police. The NRA argument is that if the ATF could share criminal gun sale trace data, then the identities of police officers and undercover agents would be put in jeopardy, and secondly it could lead to possible lawsuits against the dealers most responsible for their guns ending up in the hands criminals.
The first issue is just a flat out lie as the law already protects the identities of police and undercover agents, but the second issue is right on the money. Big NRA money to protect not only more sales for gun manufacturers and dealers, but for the Republican Party to protect the people and organizations the ATF data trends would spot; racist groups, militias, minutemen, Davidians, Cripps, MS-13, al Qaeda and of course a few million Harris and Klebolds. What is known as the base of the Republican Party. Facts of the matter...
Nastyass, Tx - This week down here in Nasytass, Terry Mark Mangum (pictured left), a Christian Heterosexual White Male went to a gay bar to pick up a gay man to murder. He picked Kenneth Cummings Jr, drove to a secluded spot, stabbed him to death, burned most of the body and buried it in a shallow grave.
"I planned on sending him to hell. I believe I'm Elijah, called by God to be a prophet. I am definitely not a homosexual, sexual perversion is the worst sin. I believe with all my heart that I was doing the right thing. It's not that I'm a bad dude I love God. "Terry Mark Mangum
Of course Mangum was a Conservative Republican Christian Heterosexual White Male who listens to Bill O’Reilly every day, but making sure I am always more fair and balanced than Fox News, I have to stick with just the facts as no article states his political affiliations. Full Article
Bill O'Reilly has finally allowed his vindictive nature to drive him over the edge. For most of a week he has been on a crazyass campaign comparing America's most popular progressive blog, The Daily Kos, to David Duke, the KKK and the NAZIS.
And all this time we thought that the KOS was that big boring blog that was way over our heads. O'Reilly's argument is based upon searching the hundreds of comments to each of thousands of articles and cherry picking a handful he finds personally offensive. Mostly things disparaging the Pope and hoping Dick Cheney will drop dead. KOS has a comment disclaimer and none of his authors have made these statements, KOS is guilty of the worst sin in O'Reilly's play book, allowing free expression on the net. With that said:
Bill! Your pal the Pope really really was a Nazi and I hope Dick Cheney drops dead!
Click here to see important followup article on Main Page [unless of course you are already here]
BREAKING: Secret Service looking into anti-Hillary threats on Bill O'Reilly's Web site
The Secret Service, already protecting Senator Clinton, has reportedly taken an interest in the threats against the Senator posted on Bill O'Reilly's Web site. Of even greater concern, O'Reilly claims that his Web site is not an open forum, meaning that no one can just walk in and post hate on his Web site. Does this mean that Bill O'Reilly or his proxies approved of the threats against Hillary?
An article published today in the New England Journal of Medicine chronicles dozens of cases where Oscar the Cat predicts when nursing home patients are going to die - in most cases, less than 4 hours. Doctors started noticing that the cat began making his own rounds, and staff started calling the patient's family once the feline made his diagnosis.
According to http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/short/357/4/328 , the smelly cat will sniff and observe patients, and then sit beside people who wind up dying in a few hours. It gives new meaning to the saying that cats always pick out the person in the room who least wants them in their lap.
While I'm reluctant to give Bush credit for anything, the White House has to be commended for making public his recent colonoscopy. Oh sure, it's standard procedure for the White House to publicly disclose any medical procedures to the prez or veep, but it's also an important public service to bring preventative health care issues to the public's attention, if you're lucky enough that is to be able to afford health insurance.
When I sat down to pen this piece, it was everything I could do to avoid the obvious finger up his ass jokes, but being approximately Bush's age, (not the scary moment), and all too familiar with the "snap of the glove," moment during my yearly check up, felt it more important to just let this go for what it was, an important reminder that many ailments can be prevented or at least corrected if diagnosed early.
No, the scary moment came when it was announced that Snarl Cheney would be the de facto president for at least two hours, and that was if everything went well for Bush. Not that I'm going to miss Bush for a couple of hours, but Cheney in charge, officially, how much scarier can it get?
My Pentagon source, DeepAss, informed me that Snarl wasted no time in taking advantage of the situation and simultaneously declared war on Iran, North Korea and Canada. When told he needed the approval of Congress, my source informs me he said, and I quote, "well then we'll attack Congress first."
Fortunately, two hours is not a long period of time, and our Texas cowboy came out of sedation and the operation successfully to ride his favorite horse, a Raleigh ten speed, back to the White House. Order was restored and the attack on Canada was called off. Hey, those guys up there in Canuck land know how to throw beer bottles and swing hockey sticks.
At the time of publication, DeepAss wasn't able to confirm if the attacks on Iran, North Korea and Congress were still in play, but he did promise to get back to me. I told him not to bother, who needs any scarier moments?
Kick! First [8am cst) with last night's best of Colbert and Stewart
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