Sometimes I worry about our local Metro Columnists at the Houston Chronicle. I worry that they will survive the day as they often take some pretty potent licks at the prevailing Texas Culture down here.
With gun and ammo sales up 50% because white people are very very angry here in Texas, it seems the only winning issues left to the Republican Base are no marriage rights for Gays and rounding up all them damn Mexicans. Both winning issues of course as they represent what the Republican Base is mostly about: Intolerance, bigotry and petty hatreds.
Over the past two years we have taken notice of ICE (the once hated but now loved federal police) bashing in doors of homes and workplaces and dragging Hispanics into Paddy Wagons. Families are literally torn apart, children left motherless and fatherless, and many of those fathers, mothers and children thrown in prisons that are mostly old army barracks surrounded by barb wire and then shipped out. Any of that sound familiar? Best not go there hey?
The many letters to editors and online debates finds the Republican Base screeching for more of it, after all, if their papers are not in order they are criminals and deserve what they get. It is the rule of law. Any of that sound familiar? Best not go there hey?
The local press here has done a fair job of reporting what is going on but often decrying the draconian measures being used. This was the case Metro Columnist Rick Casey whose Thanksgiving column shot a bit of sarcasm over the bow down here in Dumbutt.
Not only did he define the greatest Texas Heroes as Illegal immigrants, but he goes on to write of the superior Mexican culture of that time which held both slavery and executions as inhumane. I give thanks for illegal immigrant by Rick Casey.
This year, as we gather for the feast, I am giving thanks for illegal immigrants.
I have a particular group of illegals in mind, but I confess that my gratitude to them does color my view of most other illegals.
I refer to the liars, debtors, opportunists and criminals who flooded into Texas in the first half of the 19th century, and then wrested the land from Mexico.
Among the illegals violating that particular law were David Crockett, William B. Travis and Sam Houston.
I have a suggestion for Mr. Casey which conforms to Texas Thinking. In that he has so angered so much of the Texas Republican Base with his article, he had best gallop down to the gun store and buy a bigger gun and lots more ammo... Than the other guy already has. And so on... And so forth...
With even conservative pundits calling for Bush to move aside and resign early, one has to wonder what is going through the man's head. He can put on as many brave faces as he wants, that he's satisfied with the progress in Iraq, that he's done his best and so forth, but the brutal fact remains he's been a dismal failure as a president in everyone's mind but perhaps his own. Talk about narcissism.
Think back to the 2000 presidential campaign when he promised open and honest government, returning honor and dignity to the White House, being a uniter not a divider and help is on the way for the troops. The sad fact is he's delivered exactly the opposite on every promise. And if that's not enough to disgrace him in the annals of history, he's also managed to sully America's image with preemptive war, torture, rendition, our way or the highway diplomacy all while presiding over and contributing to the worst financial crisis since The Great Depression.
You'd think that would be enough to secure his place in history as the worst president in American history, but oh no, he's also managed to allow more arsenic in our drinking water, more pollution, and fewer protections for our air quality, endangered species, forests, and even the Constitution. Add his record number of signing statements excluding him from laws passed by Congress, illegal spying on US citizens and secrecy that the worst dictator would envy, he leaves office as King George when eight years ago he was merely President Bush.
That twenty-five percent of Americans still approve of his job performance is something we as a country have to work on. How can one in four of us be so damned stupid? Calling him a lame duck, while comforting that were almost done with him messing our pants all over the globe, is hardly accurate. He's a cooked turkey, and this evening I'm going to enjoy sticking a fork in him.
Page Six of the New York Post is reporting that Ms. Coulter suffered a fall breaking her jaw which required her mouth being wired shut. While it couldn't be confirmed or denied we immediately had doubts about a fall causing her injury. Ann as we know is all about confrontation, which caused us to consider the possibly she got into fisticuffs match and led with her mouth, which would be totally believable. Ann Coulter's Jaw wired shut
We would never condone hitting a girl, but when you check out her adam's apple, maybe someone got confused.
Palin is pictured at home, with a couple of critters who obviously weren't
pardoned. Far be it from me to suggest that maybe granny's crocheted afghan might be more appropriate as a sofa throw.
In order to celebrate Thanksgiving, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin today issued what she called "my list of thankfulnesses":
The first thankfulness being that I'm thankful for this turkey, and also too for the metal funnel thingy that cut the turkey's head clean off while it was
flapping its wings trying to get out and all. That was fun.
The next thankfulness being that I'm thankful that Levi is going to marry our Bristol, and I'm hoping also that we'll know soon what his location is.
Another thankfulness too being that I'm thankful for Sen. Ted Stevens, because compared to what he did and all it doesn't seem like a big deal if you tried to get some dumb old trooper fired.
My next thankfulness being I have thankfulness for our President-elect Barack Obama, and proudness, too, even though he probably is spending Thanksgiving palling around with Bill Ayres and Osama bin Laden and the Unabomber also.
A darned important thankfulness being I'm sure thankful that when the lawyers from the RNC came to take back all of that clothing they didn't check under Piper's bed. Good job, Piper!
And my last thankfulness, which I saved for last because it is the most important thankfulness, would be the turkey again also. I'm thankful that God created turkeys with so many tiny little bones in them and also too I hope Katie Couric chokes on one. Palin Offers Thankfulnesses
* I thank Borowitz.com for this delightfully skewed view of the Palin Dynasty.
Galveston Texas has a new Catholic Cardinal. His name is Daniel DiNardo and he has confused many Texans with a protest march for Life. Marching from a Planned Parenthood office to the Execution chamber at the Walls Unit in Huntsville.
George Schenuchenzuber of Magnolia had always been a strong advocate of the Anti Life issue of tying up unarmed people and dragging them down a hallway to be put to death. And as a God Fearing Conservative patriotic American we can safely assume he is also Anti Life when it comes to the collateral damage of people with funny sounding names in faraway places. He and his fellow deep thinkers only become Pro Life when it concerns potential people rather than the real thing it seems.
But George finally had his epiphany says the Houston Chronicle:
"He favored capital punishment until two months ago. George Scheuchenzuber said he revised his thinking on the issue because he concluded the death penalty can end a prisoner's life before he repents and, possibly, finds salvation."
Now there is some Jack Handey deep thought. The only reason he changed his mind is because executing someone too soon might keep that person from accepting George Scheuchenzuber's belief system. Cardinal leads protest against abortion, death penalty
Of course Christianity being founded upon the horror of capital punishment does not enter into Hillbilly Thinking. In fact the most famous quote made by Jesus Christ was just before he expired as the state was executing him:
"Father forgive them, they know not what they do."
I am often thrown back by just how well religion (and patriotism for that matter) can turn the rational areas of the brain into Okra.
Or is it the the old chicken and the egg thing? Does finding too much religion make people stupid or do stupid people find too much religion?
In their defense - and not wanting to sound too harsh on the subject - I must disagree with Jesse Ventura who a few years ago got thrown out of Minny Soda when he said religion was for the weak and stupid. He was wrong, it is about TOO MUCH religion which is for the weak OR stupid.
What beast could have been stalking and befouling the lovely town of Valentine, Nebraska. For two years, he remained an embarrassing puzzle to police and the
2,650 close-knit residents. Long the destination for romantics to send valentines in order to have them stamped at the Valentine post office, the city was named one of the top"wilderness towns in the country" last year by National Geographic Adventure magazine. Nasty things just don't happen here!
Starting in spring of 2007, a brazen vandal left his mark on businesses at night. Sadly, he wasn't tagging, he left a more personal imprint on glass.Shocked and startled business owners would find imprints of his naked behind, groin, or both...made with lotion or petroleum jelly. He was so prolific, police feared he had inspired copycat criminals. Townsfolk dubbed him "The Butt Bandit." His reign of terror lasted for two years,mainly during the warmer months. In one particularly ambitious evening,nearly every window in a hotel was imprinted.
Even the Butt Bandit was bound to run out of luck after two long years.The
35-year-old man was caught in the act by police in the wee hours and matches the footage caught on the middle school security camera. He has yet to be charged, and probably doesn't realize that in a different city and with the proper connections he could call it Performance Art.
Police Nab Butt Bandit In The Act
Don't you wish the Republicans had succeeded with putting half of everyone's Social Security into the Stock Market?
What good ideas Republicans have! And that idea was not from the Hillbilly faction of the GOP, but came from the smart part of the Party.
Watching FOX NEWS SUNDAY just now the word from the Republican House Minority Leader Big Boner it the answer to all our woes is to lower personal taxes, corporate taxes and capital gains taxes on the wealthy. Which is the same plan that got us into this suicidal mess in the first place. That plan is again, not from the dominate Hillbilly faction of the Party, but from the few smart people left in the Party. Makes one wonder where the GOP is headed.
I think all they have going for them is more guns and less Mexicans. The Gay Marriage thing may look good at the moment but within a few years that mindless bigotry will pass by graveyard attrition. So get a gun and guard the border!
What's really really good about this issue is the Republican Party has decided that because similar propositions in not a few states passed, that it is now their winning issue for the future! That the religious hillbillies will now take control of the GOP leaving the moderates to.... I dunno...
Their reasoning is that even though the majority of Americans were doing straight tickets for Obama and Democrats, they moved off voting for these No Marriage for Gays propositions so they could hurt people. Believe it or not they call this from of hurtful, bigoted intolerance, Christianity. Amazing...
They are missing two things in all this.
1) These propositions were outside straight ticket voting on the ballots.
2) Most of those voting to hurt gays and lesbians and wanting to deny them the same rights as everyone else - will for the most part - very soon be dying off from old age.
I wonder of conservative cartoonist Assay understands what his artwork actually tells us. That when it comes to guns, Americans throw common sense out the window.
The only issue that may possibly come up with this issue is to stop unregulated point of sale of weapons at gunshows. Which makes all other control legislation meaningless. Keeping just anyone with a pocket full of change to walk into the fairgrounds and buy a .50 calibar semi automatic machine gun is common sense. About as common as sense gets.
With even conservative pundits calling for Bush to move aside and resign early, one has to wonder what is going through the man's head. He can put on as many brave faces as he wants, that he's satisfied with the progress in Iraq, that he's done his best and so forth, but the brutal fact remains he's been a dismal failure as a president in everyone's mind but perhaps his own. Talk about narcissism.
Palin is pictured at home, with a couple of critters who obviously weren't
pardoned. Far be it from me to suggest that maybe granny's crocheted afghan might be more appropriate as a sofa throw. 
Galveston Texas has a new Catholic Cardinal. His name is Daniel DiNardo and he has confused many Texans with a protest march for Life. Marching from a Planned Parenthood office to the Execution chamber at the Walls Unit in Huntsville.
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