Be a Urine Specialist

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Be a Urine Specialist


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By admitting to the need of drug testing, we also admit that drugs do not affect the quality of one’s work. If someone is unproductive and drooling on the job, get rid of them, don’t suffer our society the indignity of exposing our genitals to strangers. And if drug use does not affect the work, it is no business of employers.


Stuck in a boring dead end job?
Want a career you can be proud of!
Want to meet new people in pleasant surroundings?
Have you no concept at all of the 4th Amendment?
Are you an out of work conservative Republican whose only skill is listening to Rush Limbaugh?
Do you enjoy looking at other people’s genitals?


If you answered “yes” to any of the above questions you are ready to join the thousands of Americans who have made something of themselves by becoming:


Urine Specialists!


Thousands of companies large and small, including every facet of local, state and federal government need people like you to watch other people pee! Not only do you get the satisfaction of watching strangers drop their pants or lift their skirts to fill a jar, but you get to walk around all day in rubber gloves with steaming beakers of piss!


For more information write:
Roberto Gonzales [Piss Head]
Department of Justice P-CHECK Division
Washington, DC

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Comments
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Piss is cool!
#1 Rack Jite on 2007-06-10 08:14
AMEN! Never has one menial job given you so many opportunities, while depriving
others of theirs.
Want something for that lumbago?
Piss in this jar, and you'd better not
be "helping" your condition with er..uh
a natural substance.
Got a master's degree,experience, qualifications?
Piss in this jar, and we'll SEE.
Stay out of jail?
Piss in this cup - a LOT.
Think you're immune? Think again. This is THE growth industry in the USA.
Can't beat 'em, JOIN 'em..just check your gloves for holes.
#2 sangfroid10 on 2007-06-10 17:56
Liberals don't even know enough to understand WORD WRAP. The see the edge of the box and wussy out, panic and hit ENTER!
#2.1 Bubba on 2007-06-10 21:34
Low shot there Bubba. I love this so much I want to make posters and tack them to the fronts of certain agencies about town. Ya'll will bail me out if the worst should happen - right?!!
#2.1.1 sangfroid10 on 2007-08-14 01:23
Even in the at-will employment states like Texas, it isn't always easy to fire a person for incompetence. First of all, most everybody thinks they are supremely competent if you ask them ... just as 90% of drivers consider themselves "average" or above.

People will sue for that reason as well as a variety of reasons when terminated for 'not performing their duties sufficiently'. Perhaps they are over the age of 40 and perceive the firing and their being part of a protected class of workers.

Even if someone is stumbling around the factory floor, it is still much more expedient to let them go for failing a blood test. Companies contract out this service rather than perform it themselves, and it is just another part of the outsourcing of America.

Besides, how else can you fire all those tenured liberal college professors or postal workers who basically are ensured their lifetime employment?
#3 x.smith on 2007-06-11 11:40
I do not have to wonder what our Founding Fathers would say about the government forcing people to pee in a jar in front of some nitwit who cant find a better job.
#4 Rack Jite on 2007-08-13 10:19
Just think how many pricks these pee testers see a day... Other than Ho's they are probably the most well schooled in penis size issues.
And what do you do for a living?
#5 Bubba on 2007-08-13 10:32
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