BUTTS CHARGED WITH STEALING TOILET PAPER

Let us but hope this story has a happy ending, and blind justice prevails.
You know, at first this did not seem worthy of posting. In fact, it still may not be, but post it I will, on the tail end of the recent and relatively minor incarceration of “Paris” who “merely” endangered herself and others, then ignored her easy initial court orders to merely report, behave during probation, and no further legal action would ensue.

The Diva Paris has a cakewalk compared to what this Iowa woman is facing, yet there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth at the unfairness of it all. I mean really,what if she misplaces her teacup dog of the moment again? You may recall the police were enlisted to find precious, until Paris or her grandmother realized she’d left the wee thing at grammie’s house by a potted palm or somewhere in the manse. .

But- I digress. Ms Butts is our concern today, though I am loathe to drag her distinctive name through the mud further, I think it speaks of the inequity of our system, among other things. I mean truly – the woman must be undergoing the most embarrassing moment of her life as it is. Then, I thought back to the four senators who were living on “average” food stamp rations for a week, and how no one mentioned that the magnanimous sum of one dollar a day didn’t cover” luxuries” like T.P. Perhaps there is more to the unfortunately named Ms. Butt’s story than meets the eye? I submit that anyone desperate enough to steal T.P. from a courthouse probably needs it!

Briefly, an eagle eyed employee saw her take three rolls of the special two-ply (probably private stock reserved for judges) from a supply closet. Unfortunately – in oh, so many ways for her, Ms Butts, age 38, does not work at the courthouse in Iowa. Whatever her motives, Ms Butts, (and I cannot make these names up), faces a fifth degree theft charge, a misdemeanor, normally carrying a sentence of less than a year. Personally, I think any prison time is more than a bit much, but- Ms Butt’s bad luck doesn’t end there. Under the state’s habitual offender law, she could face up to three years of prison time for pilfering three rolls of papier hygienique, according to Chief Lon Walker, while he suppressed giggles during a news conference with KCCI-TV.“See I can’t say it with a straight face.”.he snickered, though it is three years of this woman’s life we’re talking about. Let us hope not. One can only imagine what she purloined in the past, perhaps equally practical items.

If they carry out the maximum sentence, I can only imagine the reaction of the other inmates, during that “getting to know you” time just before or after that prison favorite COPS comes on, but- that’s another mystery for another day. AP Wire Story