Turncoat Bubba

Just got a call from Bubba, he said he had something important to tell me, a nice surprise he added. It was my turn to go to his house which wasn’t far and in the same general white area I reside in. He had the garage door open and was drinking a beer knocking balls around on the pool table.

 “What news?” I asked grabbing a cue and a beer.

 “I’m pulling the straight Democratic lever on the Seventh, thought you would enjoy that. As a prize for me, I don’t expect to hear anything even hinting at an itoldyouso.”

 “I told you so!” I gave him what he expected, “I knew after 25 years of dogging you, you would come around!”

 He pulled back from the table and leaned on his stick in that Bubba Stance. “It has nothing to do with your mindless liberal drool Rack, the Republicans have too much power, it has corrupted them and I am sick of having The Okras in charge.”

 Okra was Bubba’s Sister-in-law, a Born again, Evangelical, Fundamentalist, Pentecostal member of the Religious Right with a perfect voting record. We had both taken to calling all such people Okras. Bubba had a troubled relationship with Okra in that he just didn’t like her. But they voted the same ticket every November, so he was beholding to her.

 He leaned forward on his cue to make me understand.

 “I have not changed one lick! I don’t want the government stealing my money, people should stay with their own kind, a kick in the head is better than a handout and liberals make me sick.”

 After congratulating Bubba on his fine speech which covered all four conservative values: Selfishness, racism, violence and hatred, I had to ask.

 “San Francisco Pelosi as Speaker? Ways and Means going to a Black guy from Harlem? Judicial Chair to a Black guy from Detroit? Possible Impeachment proceedings? Gosh Bubba have you really thought this through properly?”

 Bubba went into silent cowboy mode causing me to back off for the time being. We had too many more beers and as I got in my car I shouted toward the garage.

 “You want me to contact Jesse Jackson’s Rainbow Coalition and sign you and your Bigaburban up to cart people from the 3rd Ward to the polls?”

 Needless to say…