Scooter Libby, World's Best Monopoly Player

So, without even a role of the dice, Libby got his get out of jail free card, passed go with a whopping five $million, only having to kick back 5% in a fine, and landed on Easy Street, a new square invoked by presidential executive order for this game only.
President Bust, with his keen eye for looking into people’s hearts, declared the game over with Libby the winner before any of the other players, mostly dumb, bleeding heart legal experts got a turn. As Bust II put it, “he’s got nearly five mil in cash and he’s squatting on Easy Street. Who’s gonna put more fish on their family? Game over.”
A weekend guest of the president, a guy by the name of Putin, whose heart had also been pierced by Bust’s steely gaze, offered no comment on Libby’s win. He claimed he was visiting for no other reason than to get insight and a lecture on human rights. “We have to lose our habit of torturing dissenters,” he claimed, “and what better place for enlightenment on this issue than the U.S.A.
But with his approval ratings well below freezing, Bust needed a boost and his decision to declare Scootie the winner in the Monopoly sweepstakes can only be seen as brilliant. Who else but the Decider could come up with such a dramatic turnaround? Scooter goes from scoundrel for outing a covert CIA agent to national hero with a flick of the presidential pen. Genius.
Apparently Bust II’s dad, Bust I, wasn’t too happy with the deal, because of a previous comment about outing CIA covert operatives being the lowest form of treason. But he seems to have come around and now acknowledges that it’s not his fault how far the apple falls from the tree. It’s the tree’s fault.