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Gamblin' on Kinky

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Gamblin' on Kinky

As Bubba and I finished watching the Texas Gubernatorial debate, he recanted on his recent promise to pull a straight Democratic ticket come election day.

 Kinky Freidman had won him over,  running as an Independent, Bubba will have to push each lever separately.

Quite a complicated process for a redneck who has been pulling straight Republican tickets for most of 40 years. 

“But Bubba, Kinky didn’t do anything but suck on a wet cigar and issue forth Texas homilies. In fact he reminded me of Dick Armey for Christsake! The only thing we know for sure is about him is that he wants to fund the state by putting video poker bars in front of every trailer park in Texas. And if I understood correctly, he wants to make cats citizens?”

“So the great tolerant Jite is a cat racist now? The bottom line you liberals just don’t get is why I should pay for your kids’ educations. I don’t have kids, let’s put the bill on those who choose to gamble, that is far more fair.”

This is the territory where we always bog down, his ideology so outweighs reason that there is often little point in further discourse. But one must always try.

“Bubba! They did this same video poker thing in Mississippi,  the results were that the haves got a free ride they didn’t need while the have-nots ended up with the repo-man in their driveway and banker foreclosing their homes more than any time since the Depression.”

“Not my problem! You blather on and on about choice, they have a choice not to gamble!”

Once again I tried explaining progressive taxation to Bubba’s deaf ear, that the grand swath of Americans live on a teetering economic fault line. The middle class has no savings to speak of, they are in credit card debt up to their eyeballs, tuitions and energy bills are rising, as are the ever persistent emergency what-have-yous. 

The working poor are hit even harder through reduction in every phase of financial help. All to allow the wealthy another vacation home and/or stock options. Meanwhile,  the economic hardship you don’t care they suffer, is what causes so many to give up and fall into drug and alcohol addiction, crime, guns and violence.

“But its not FAIR!” Bubba shouted.

“Fair? You are invoking fairness now? Gosh Bubba, every time I mention fairness you tell me I am a communist.

Fair? Okay let’s be fair, every radio station who airs three hours of Rush must now air three hours of me!

Or to be fair, Kim Il in North Korea should have 8765 nuclear weapons with ICBMs to deliver them. Parity is fairness.”

“Its not about evil empires, queers, women, Mexicans or blacks. The real unfairness in this country is my tax bill, that’s the only place fairness is required.”

“So everything, the entire ball of wax, is about your tax bill?”

“Yep. That, and keeping Yankee socialist crap out of my neighborhood, out of Texas, and out of my country.”

Well, what can one say other than the same conversation goes on twice a minute on every street in America, dead ends.
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Political humor from Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Bill Maher and SNL. Commentary by Newscat & Rack Jite
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