Bush, Bushcutter in Chief

Crawford, Tx -- As the dog days of summer inch along, preznit Bush is doing his August thang, that being whacking away at the evil brush that clogs up the tricycle trail on his 1,600 acre ranch in Crawford. Frankly, most of the world is thankful he spends so much of his time far away from the red button in Washington.

Yes, he's on his way to becoming the holiday king of presidents, but ponder all the additional damage he could have wrecked on the world if he actually had a work ethic, which leads us to scary thought #1: does this mean the Dick can slither out of his undisclosed location to plot more neocon havoc unchecked? And scary thought #2, well; scary thought #1 should be enough to scare a room-clearing fart right back up your asshole.

It's one thing to ignore PDB's, (Presidential Daily Briefs), as Bush did on August 6, 2001, dismissing the threat of bin Laden attacking the United States. It's quite another to leave the world's greatest chicken hawk, five deferment Dick, in charge of the red button. You just know he has a pressing need to compensate for something, and more than likely it's Dick's dick.

So, here we are, August 2007, and what have we learned after nearly six years since 9/11? We’ve learned this crew might be able to Diebold and dirty trick their way to election victory, but that they can’t govern shit. You simply can’t keep up with the daily scandals, whether about incompetence or money. And why is it every sex scandal involves a republican? The moral values party. Yeah, right.

Clearly the Bush II administration is up for worst of all time, and in the process has lowered the political discourse bar deeper than a sewer pipe. Even that fat rat Karl Rove has jumped ship, suggesting there are more scandals to come. Uniter not a divider, blow me.

If you ask a republican to name one good thing this administration has accomplished, all you'll get is a lot of jumping up and down in full scream mode, with veins bursting all over the place and some serious hyperventilating thrown in for good measure, but you’ll still never get a straight answer.

Truth is, I actually feel safer with Bush clearing a tricycle trail in Crawford, where only he’s at risk. Better than the alternative trail he’s blazing in Washington, when the whole world ends up at risk.