Dumbass, Texas - Because we have replaced paying taxes with afternoon shoots down here in Dumbass, we have the honor of being America’s bottom dawg in graduation rates. We are not at the very bottom in most everything else thanks to Mississippi. A few issues have arisen lately with the onset of the new school year.
First a reminder that though our state legislature has not found any way to fund education since it began working on it in the Governor Bush years, a few weeks ago they did take the time to force the words “Under God” into our morning Texas Pledge public school children are forced to recite. Though that just about fixed everything there are still a few bumps in the road.
Hundreds of schools in and around Houston are failing the No Child Left Behind criteria invoking the process of parents being able to send their kids to nearby, barely more successful schools. Trouble is there are no nearby schools that want or will take the little dumbasses. So much for that crap.
We just had our Texas NO TAX Back to School Weekend! Keeping in mind this is Dumbass, it doesn’t cover school supplies, you know, pencils, paper, notebooks and such. It is all about the minions overrunning each other at Walmart to buy Reeboks and backpacks. I am sure by next year it will include both Smith and Wesson.
With no state income tax or there ever being such an alien concept down here along with the constant reduction of property taxes, Governor Perry this week found the answer to all our woes.
He signed an executive order to allow children in public schools to proselytize to each other. This came about because the parents of an elementary girl who was handing out Evangelical Valentines sued the school who frowned upon the idea. So now with student distribution of Watchtowers, the Book of Mormon and 700 Club literature - and I assume GOD IS GREAT call to prayers 5 times a day in our schools, Governor Perry has once and for all fixed the Texas Education system. Here Hear! God is indeed Great!
No more whack-a-butt, aka No Child's Left Be-hind, is seen as a case where turn the other cheek is sorely missed.
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