August 28, 2007
Dear Senator Craig,
As official spokeswoman for the National Democratic Inclusion Headquarters, I would like to be the first to officially extend a warm invitation for you to join our ranks. As the party of inclusion, rather than exclusion, where you are presently, we welcome those of various races, religious beliefs, non beliefs, and of course sexual preferences. Our policy is that part of your life is your own business, as long as children or animals are not involved). Even those with questionable taste in music are welcome, as are those whose mothers dressed them funny, and have yet to recover.
We do know that you are a deeply religious man. This could be the turning point in becoming closer to your Creator. How wonderful it would be for you to face the day as who you truly are, as you were intended you to be! No more living a sinful and hypocritical sham of an existence. I know that becoming the man “HE” intended is the most important thing, above politics, or the opinion of your small minded community. We’ve heard and read your beliefs enough to interpret that is the case, and feel that you would be going against HIS will if you did not take this opportunity to join with your brothers and sisters of all stripes, but more importantly as yourself, (past Senator Craig) Gay and proud!
We realize that as a politician, you required the standard issue wife and children, but is it truly fair to hide behind her skirts so that you will not appear openly “gay”, but on the down low? Our Gay Democrats welcome you to step out of the closet.
While I cannot speak for everyone, I’d venture that most Democrats of both sexes would welcome you once you’ve come to terms with who you are, and are no longer using your family as human shields. They too, of course are welcome. The convention would be a wonderful place for your wife to find another partner.
Somewhere in the Hypocritical part of your brain, it must have throbbed and flashed red, showing in your eyes, and blaring like ship’s klaxon when you signed numerous anti gay laws I won’t list them all, just two which may well impact you soon.
You voted no twice to expanding hate crimes to include sexual orientation, and once to prohibit job discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. These issues may well have great meaning for you soon unless you’re prepared to jet out of Idaho immediately!
P.S. They aren’t buying your denials, you might want to book that flight and consider a party and career change ASAP. We are here to help.
Sincerely,
Wanda Welcome Wagon
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