10 Things Rack Jite Doesn't Get about Texas

Down here in what Jite calls Dumbass, I am considered quite liberal. I don't like George Bush, his war, and believe it is time for some sort of all inclusive health care. With that said I feel obligated to speak to Jite on his misunderstanding of what we Texans really are. I hope this list will straighten this Yankee out. And no, 25 years of living in Texas does not make him a Texan.

1) Texans love carrying around guns and shooting them. It's what we do, it's what we are and shut up about it or else.

2) Texans are not racist unless they burn crosses in Black peoples' yards or drag them behind trucks.

3) Texans enjoy reading about this weeks' executions, it makes us feel good about ourselves.

4) Texans are against any new hate crime legislation, there is nothing wrong with getting drunk an roughing up a queer or two on Saturday nights.

5) Texans love carrying around guns and shooting them. It's what we do, it's what we are and shut up about it or else.

6) Texans love to put all their guns in the car, drive down to the border, sit in a chair drinking beer with burbon chasers and plunk at stuff.

7) Texans love carrying around guns and shooting them. It's what we do, it's what we are and shut up about it or else.

8 ) Texans will pray out loud in mass at high- school football games no matter what anyone has to say about it.

9) Texans love carrying around guns and shooting them. It's what we do, it's what we are and shut up about it or else.

10) Texans will not tolerate any Yankee telling us what to do. It's what the guns are for.

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