Friday, October 19. 2007

Republicans Just Can't Get a Hit

It's baseball season so let's talk about the gang who couldn't shoot straight. The GOP are on a roll again, and all downhill. These guys and gals are a laugh a minute and don't even realize how funny they are. Why just the other day congressman David Hobson announced his retirement stating he was taking his ball and going home to play catch with his kids. Mr. Hobson is 71 years old, and is the 12th republican to so announce with over a year before the next election. At this rate of repubs going home with their ball, the democrats could gain super majorities in both houses by default.

But let's not get a head of ourselves, this could be a Larry (wide-stance) Craig type resignation, you know, the republican who struggles to keep his feet off his neighbors' in airport bathroom stalls. Mr. Craig resigned from the senate before he decided not to resign and is now appealing his written confession. I can't even write this from my computer chair without strapping myself in with seatbelts because I'm laughing so hard.

Which brings us to Giuliani, who in response to a question claimed his administration would be prepared to repel an attack from Mars. (You can't make this shit up). I have no idea what the Rude-man is smoking, but if he's a sharing type of guy, he just may get my vote. Okay, scratch that. I just remembered the thrice married ex-mayor Giuliani is the same dude who put the New York command center in the World Trade Center against all expert advice after the 1993 al-Qaeda attack. He's the same guy who wouldn't spring for working walkie-talkies for firefighters, ones that worked for the police, ones that didn't work for the firemen. The police escaped the collapse of the World Trade Center on 9/11 because of communication. The firemen didn't for the same reason. But Giuliani can save us from Martians. This guy definitely qualifies for the alien threat, just not a human terrorist threat. (start Twilight Zone theme music).

Moving on, "The Mitt" is flip-flopping faster than a fish out of water and McCan't can't get his nose up Jerry Falwell's dead ass far enough. The only guy making any sense about the war on the repub side is Ron Paul and he can't poll above single digits.

And if this isn't enough, the big fight on Capitol Hill right now is Congress authorizing another $200 billion for a losing war versus a measly $35 billion spread out over five years, funded by increased tobacco taxes, to fund SCHIP, health insurance for working families who couldn't afford it otherwise. I'm a smoker and get this.

I mean, even after a big Homer Simpson 'D'oh', how difficult is it to get on the right side of this issue? Your choice is voting to spend 200 billion to kill upwards of a thousand military kids in Iraq for no good reason this year alone versus spending 35 'funded' billion dollars over five years to provide health insurance for kids. D'oh!

It's almost like the GOP searches for a losing position and says, "watch us spin this to the point where the dems won't call us on it and say a bad word like bullshit." That said, you have to give them credit for one thing, they seem to take pride for being on the losing side of every important issue. They get up on their hind legs and proudly proclaim, "yeah, imagine what Iraq would have done to us if we hadn't attacked them first. Cheapest trillion dollars and 4,000 lives we ever spent."
It's all pretty simple, really, unless you're in it for the money or f**ked up sex, why would you vote Republican?
Okay, forgot about Rush, sorry I asked. Carry on.

Posted by W. O. Coach in GOP ROT