Thursday, August 21. 2008John McCain and his 7 Houses By now everyone's heard that McHouse, I mean McCain, was asked today how many houses he and his wife own, but couldn't remember and referred the query to his staff. His staff got back and said he and Cindy own four houses. In less time than it takes to swat a mosquito, Obama, in full attack mode since back from Hawaii, pointed out that the McCains actually own seven houses and turned the elitist label they've been trying to pin on the dem candidate upside down or inside out depending on your preferred method of swatting a political opponent. But apart from the silliness of how many houses the McCain's own in what should be a serious political debate, one can't help but wonder how McCain could flub such an easy question, "how many houses do you own?" To put in perspective how easy this question was, I'll venture to say if every American were asked the same question the vast majority would say, "none." And of course we all know it's only getting worse with the sub-prime/foreclosure scandal. With the economy being the number one issue this election, we obviously need a guy who can do some math, or at the very least count. How effective will McCain's economic team be when after given the simple task of adding up seven houses they came up with the answer: 7 + 0 = 4, an error of __%. I purposely left the percentage of error blank to see if any McCain supporters write in with the correct answer. I think we could find them a position in the McCain camp. Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home Thursday, August 21. 2008Gross! 9 ft tapeworm emerges from man's body, files suit claiming salmon gave him internal Alien
Space Aliens? Oh, don't you just wish! Common parasites of the human body
(1) The hookworm latches on the walls of the colon with its sharp teeth where it feeds on blood.
(2) The tapeworm is the longest parasite. A mature adult can lay a million eggs a day. (3) Tapeworm eggs embedded in the colon. (4) The roundworm can grow to be 20 inches (50 cm) long and lay 200,000 eggs per day. (5) Pinworms migrate outside the colon during the night to lay
their eggs around the anus. This causes the nightly itching of many unsuspecting victims.
The lovely photos and educational descriptions (no need to thank me), give you some idea of what must have greeted Anthony Franz, man of the world, after passing a 9-foot tapeworm which emerged from his nether regions. He was fortunate, they have been known to send eggs circulating to the human brain and eye as well as other areas. Yes, I know it's so pedestrian to avoid Sushi, and for that matter steak tartar. I'd wager one look at a 9 foot tapeworm which had grown familiar with you, and everything you ate for the rest of your life would be cooked to a charcoal briquette. Franz contends the worm came from a salmon salad at Shaw's Crab House in 2006, after which he fell violently ill. Once the worm emerged, a pathologist identified it as a type particular to fish, such as salmon. Shaw seeks a mere $100,000. which should be enough to impress the restaurant to be cautious, although they claim to have somehow conducted an investigation and are certain it didn't emerge from their restaurant. Difficult to believe, but in the turn of the century, women were sold a weight loss cure. "Sanitized tape worms." No wonder the fainting couch was so popular in that era as well as smelling salts. It would take more than that to bring me 'round if I met up with an alien from within! 9 ft tapeworm emerges from man's body, files suit claiming salmon gave him internal Alien Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home Thursday, August 21. 2008Video- HOT surprise from Bikini-clad barista for drive-thru perv wearing panties on head, little elseThe proliferation of bikini wearing Baristas seems to have spawned a new form of drive-thru pervert. This one in Parkland,WA had a really hot time courtesy of a barista who'd finally seen enough. Water this hot is going to leave a mark - a big, painful mark. Let's hope the doctor is possessed of some curiosity. Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home Wednesday, August 20. 2008Dr Laura Schlessinger Bible Email
Hypocrite Dr Laura - who preaches no sex before marriage, the sanctity of marriage and who rudely attacks callers for not adhering to her intolerant sexual views on these matters - is pictured here in one of many such photographs as a married women who dressing up in black leather to cheat on her husband. This is one of the nicer shots. Dear Dr. Laura, Wednesday, August 20. 2008John McCan't It's truly incredible that recent polls have John McCain running close or in some cases even with Barak Obama. Is it possible that suddenly half of likely voters are greedy rich CEO's, the religiously insane, or intolerant bigots? You know, the republican base. Surely even the most greedy and intolerant amongst us have had enough of a president who's an embarrassment every time he opens his mouth.Forgetting McCain's flip-floppery on almost every position he stood for in 2000 to pander to "the base," forgetting his daily gaffes, forgetting he can't remember his own policy positions from one hour to the next, and forgetting that this so-called foreign policy expert couldn't find a middle east country with an Atlas and a geography teacher, he has to be a worse public speaker than Bush. After eight years of Bush, how could anyone, including rabid wingnutters, want more of this? If his boring monotone wasn't enough to have you diving for the channel change button on the TV remote, beginning every sentence with "my friends," he must have his handlers half insane. McCain's vaunted claim to fame is getting shot down in Vietnam and being held prisoner for 5 1/2 years. How that somehow qualifies him as a foreign policy expert is beyond me. It's not like he played chess with Ho Chi Minh every night and discussed world affairs. No human should suffer the indignity John McCain suffered all those years, but that experience hardly qualifies him to be president of the United States. And speaking of experience, look at the mess the so-called experienced experts have gotten us into under the Bush administration. This is the type of experience we could do without. For McCain to get up on his hind legs and endorse these failed policies in the hopes of winning the presidency suggests to me he's jumping the shark. And according to recent polls, nearly half the American voting public is grabbing the same shark fin with him. How depressing. Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home Wednesday, August 20. 2008Toby Keith Democrat for Obama WTFThis from the guy who went ballasitic on the Dixie Chicks and did a song that we need to hang more people in the streets... WTF? Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home Wednesday, August 20. 2008Lewd Doctor's Penis Too Small to Matter"Yeah, we all need someone we can cream on, And if you want to, well you can cream on me." Let it Bleed by the Rolling Stones.
The weight of the conviction must have troubled the doctor who recently hired hot shot Houston Lawyer Dick DeGuerin to appeal his case. DeGuerin is most famous for defending David Koresh and the Branch Davidians who didn't do anything wrong, well other than killing six policemen and shooting about 50 children in the head. DeGuerin is also the present counsel for Texas Lobbyist and Crook Tom DeLay. You ready for this? Got your seat-belt on? So the DeGuerin Defense is that the doctor's penis is so small that it could not have been seen by the undercover cop. The penis in question was measured by a urologist at 2.8 inches and the palm of the doctor's hand 4.2 inches. This means the penis was hidden by the doctor's hand during the... Um... rapid handling. Ahem. This job of court appointed penis measuring has me wondering. It must have been measured while erect or this is all meaningless. Right? And how is that done exactly? Is the urologist a man or a woman? How is the penis made erect? And who holds it while it is being measured? The doctor said that he is so embarrassed about his penis size that he avoids exposure to all but his wife. One of those size does not matter ladies we may surmise. Sadly for the doctor, not only did hot shot lawyer Dick DeGuerin lose the appeal, but now the whole world knows what a teenie weenie he has. Wednesday, August 20. 2008Sabre Rattling with Russia Moves McCain up in the Polls When Hillary Clinton quit the Democratic Primary in June, polls showed Democrats ahead of Republicans by about 20 points, that has now been reduced to 12 points. The 8 point difference is due primarily to the success John McCain has had reminding people that he is Mr War. That he was instrumental in pushing the Bus Administration into war with Iraq, to keep enlarging the war and keep it going. As he is for the war in Afghanistan. He is also the maverick voice for another war with Iran. The polling difference between the two candidates rather than Parties was about 6 points two weeks ago, which is said to have disappeared since John McCain began pounding his shoe screeching about war with Russia. Four wars! Nothing makes INTELLIGENT American voters happier than war after war after war after war. That's four right? INTELLIGENT voters don't care that our Generals and economists tell us that the two wars we are fighting now already have us on the edge of military and economic collapse. Can there be more INTELLIGENCE than backing a Republican candidate who wants TWO MORE WARS - with bigger and badder enemies than we are waring with now - and who also will lower their taxes! Yesterday when a school system outside Dallas decided to allow its teachers and administrators to take .44 magnums to school and wear, or put in and on their desks I was embarrassed to be from Texas. Today with the INTELLIGENT American voters going for more wars I am embarrassed to even be an American. Well I dunno... There is Mike Phelps, the NBA and cheeseburgers! I was gonna add beer but I don' t know. I think we still have the PEZ market locked though! This view that the winning issue in this election has now become Vladimir Putin awaking INTELLIGENT Americans to a long overdue war with the evil bear was presented by top Conservative columnist, Baseball and War affectionado and annoying little Wussy George Will in the Washington Post: A Race McCain Could Win! It's hard to blame the sabre rattling on the politicians, both parties are guilty to various degrees. The problem is the INTELLIGENT American voter who base their votes upon their fears, supernatural deities, and of course our American Family Values; more wars, more killing, more executions, more prisons, more pitbulls, more slapping our kids around and of course lots and lots and lots more guns. Lots more! As I mentioned the other day, if we don't make the sabres wider or the scabbards narrower we just may macho jingo ourselves into oblivion. Soon. And if I ever hear the term INTELLIGENT VOTING PUBLIC one more time I am going to puke. Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! HomeWednesday, August 20. 2008VIDEO Condom a Cappella, Gates touts Condom Ringtones in IndiaThe possibilities! Now everyone can be annoyed while hearing your phone nag about condom use 50 times a day. Gates Foundation joins others in promoting the Bollywood style ads on the 275 million cell phones and growing, in India. They're hopeful it will become a new craze. Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home Wednesday, August 20. 2008Drinking age 21 party schools and Best Colleges 2008 2009The Amethyst Initiative "Rethink the Drinking Age" has collected signatures of over a hundred University Presidents and Chancellors. They have take the debate of the alcohol drinking age laws over to Opposing Views but let's be real how the list of 100 signatures will be used by prospective teen students: High public tuition has really gotta cut into a student's drinking money fund - the average tuition cost is over 17 grand for out-of-state partiers at the twelve public schools who made the list. Even Ohio State University (home of High Street) is $21,918 per year and Vermont State Colleges (home of drunk skiers avoiding trees) hits $29,682 yearly. On the other end of the best 100 are the low cost private schools who signed Amethyst's 100+ list: The College of St. Joseph (CSJ.EDU) and Saint Leo University (SAINTLEO.EDU) are the two non-public institutions with the lowest tuition of under $18,000 a year. That'll make old Joe and Leo the new patron saints of jello shooters and body shots. The over-40 crowd ($40,200 and $49,210/yr tuition costs respectively) at Middlebury College and Kenyon College are probably the chablis drinking crowd anyway, which federal law already allows with your parents. The signatories from those places didn't exactly stick their necks out by signing the Amethyst petition. The names of college administrators to watch will be Louis Agnese and John Stamm. In addition to MADD opposing this education initiative, the latest additions to "The List" are from the University of the Incarnate Word and Trinity Lutheran College. When it comes to new wine in old wineskins, WWJD? Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! HomeWednesday, August 20. 2008Sweet, Armed, 85-yr-old Leda Smith Forces Intruder to Call 911
Leda Smith is the pleasant, sweet lady you'd want in your family or at least as a next door neighbor.
Hearing of a burglary ring in Point Marion, PA which most recently had hit her next door neighbor, she didn't hesitate when she woke from a nap Sunday to the sound of someone breaking into her home.
"I just walked right on past him to the bedroom and got my gun," Leda Smith said. She then asked him what he was doing in her house. In a nonsensical answer, he repeated that he "didn't do it." Plucky Smith held the revolver on the 17-year old while he called 911, and until State Police arrived...in which time the novice criminal must have had mixed feelings. The juvenile cannot be identified because of his tender years. He will be charged with attempted burglary and related offenses in Juvenile court. If he does time, he may have to come up with a better story than having been busted by an 85-year old lady, who under other circumstances probably would have given him some home-made cookies. The indomitable Smith was far from shaken! "It was exciting," Smith said. "I just hope I broke up the (burglary) ring because they have been hitting a lot of places around here." Sweet, Armed, 85-yr-old Leda Smith Forces Intruder to Call 911 Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home Wednesday, August 20. 2008Mayor runs ad,"Seeking Ugly Women For Outback's Lonely Hearts"
More news from "Down Under." Pictured here is Mr. Tact and Charm himself, Mayor John Molony of the Australian Outback mining town Mount Isa. He has no idea why his good intentions seem to have paved a road straight to hell for him. Trust me it's only just begun.
He took the intentions and went straight to print with an idea to help lonely miners, and some rather - shall we say, disadvantaged women in his opinion as well, thus proving the rumor that Australian men are stuck in the dark ages once and for all.
The Mayor truly speaks best for himself. "May I suggest if there are five blokes to every girl, we should find out where there are beauty-disadvantaged women and ask them to proceed to Mount Isa."The Mayor added that many women who already live in the remote Queensland state town seem quite happy. Not content to merely place his foot in his mouth, he then wedged it in beyond all help. "Quite often you will see walking down the street a lass who is not so attractive with a wide smile on her face," he continued. "Whether it is recollection of something previous or anticipation for the next evening, there is a degree of happiness." Get the smelling salts, I'm swooning! To think of those poor lasses with nothing to smile about other than memories or anticipation of a magical evening with a suave yet sensitive man of the world like Molony. Heaven knows women have nothing else to smile about, other than perhaps a new toilet cleaning product. It's no surprise that Chamber of Commerce manager Patricia O'Callaghan said there is a lot of passionate anger and women voicing their opinions." Newsflash! The situation isn't as grim (for some) as the Mayor stated. According to the census, males made up 5.2 percent of the population of 20,000. With that news, perhaps the Mayor and many other male residents need a spot of charm school to start chipping through the thick rock encasing the presumed diamond in the rough. If no diamond is found, at least it may wake them, and erase the words "Ugly women" from their vocabulary. Women stated there weren't a lot of shiny gems among Mount Isa's men. Perhaps 27-year old Anna Warrick said it best. "We've got a saying up here that the odds are good, but the goods are odd." Mayor runs ad,"Seeking Ugly Women For Outback's Lonely Hearts Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home Wednesday, August 20. 2008Auckland's bare breasted bikers prevail, porn stars will be on parade, Erotica Expo
Bare breasts have prevailed in an Auckland New Zealand court this week. In a country familiar with gnomes, hobbits, trolls, wizards - and their rabid fans, the sight of partial nudity raised eyebrows,mainly those of the Auckland City Council. New Zealand has experienced a tourist boon since the success of Lord Of The Rings. Obviously the Council did not feel the need to add topless porn stars on motorcycles to the charm of their fair city.
Judge Nicola Mathers pointed the obvious financial facts to the City Council. The first annual Erotica Expo last year drew 80,000 people to Auckland. The second year, featuring international and local porn stars sans tops, on motorcycles is bound to bring many more to their fair city. While allowing that some might find it tasteless and offensive. The offended are far outnumbered by the enthused. Judge Mathers ruled in favor of the wholesome community parade. My theory is that this is the result of a mix-up long ago. A Puritan ship headed for our shores must have washed up in New Zealand, where as in this country they have gravitated to positions of real or imagined power. Book that flight! The parade will be on Queens St, featuring both local and international leather-clad porn stars, and is just one part of the well-attended "Erotica Expo" organized and started last year, by self-titled "porn king" Steve Crow. Auckland's bare breasted bikers prevail, porn stars will be on parade, Erotica Expo! Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home Tuesday, August 19. 2008Victoria Osteen all Oiled Up and ready to go
The first case in point in the Victoria Osteen courtroom victory aftermath was this evangelical language ditty she uttered, "God, the only thing you are looking for is obedience!" The only thing? Wow! I am sure the world of Rap music enjoys Victoria's basis of Christianity being dem hos do what they be told. But the real disconnect I had was when she said that over the three years the case was going on "I would anoint myself with oil, I felt like, I wish I could go in and just anoint that whole courtroom." Osteens thank supporters during Lakewood service
I wonder what Victoria uses in her self anointings? I would suppose at home,like Ashcroft, it would be whatever is available in the oil cooking cupboard. What about when out and about and suddenly needing anointing in a restaurant? I suppose we could assume that it would be oil with a bit of vinegar added? I wonder if she tries to keep it out of her hair? Does that matter? At the Olive Garden does she just grab the salad dressing and liberally pour it over her head? Or does she lean way back in the chair and gently pour it only on her forehead? I had most fun imagining Victoria oiling up the entire courtroom. Visions of oil cans and grease guns. It was an overflow crowd you know. For an entire week, hundreds of people cheering for the Lord. And of course being obedient which is all that really matters to Him. I suppose to anoint as many as 500 people a day Victoria would have needed at least a few quarts of 10W30 or perhaps a barrel of Sweet Texas Crude. Have to run now, I am late for an anointment. Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! HomeTuesday, August 19. 2008Laura Ingraham right-wing Bitch video by Harry ShearerLaura Ingraham's claim to fame? She's almost as bad as Ann Coulter! Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home |
 4 More Years! Recent ArticlesJohn McCain and his 7 Houses
Thursday, August 21 Gross! 9 ft tapeworm emerges from man's body, files suit claiming salmon gave him internal Alien Thursday, August 21 Video- HOT surprise from Bikini-clad barista for drive-thru perv wearing panties on head, little else Thursday, August 21 Dr Laura Schlessinger Bible Email Wednesday, August 20 John McCan't Wednesday, August 20 Toby Keith Democrat for Obama WTF Wednesday, August 20 Lewd Doctor's Penis Too Small to Matter Wednesday, August 20 Sabre Rattling with Russia Moves McCain up in the Polls Wednesday, August 20 VIDEO Condom a Cappella, Gates touts Condom Ringtones in India Wednesday, August 20 Sweet, Armed, 85-yr-old Leda Smith Forces Intruder to Call 911 Wednesday, August 20 Add Blog to RSS
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This old Dr Laura Schlessinger email-0-round expresses well the fatal flaw in Religious Fundamentalism and the literal interpretation of the Bible. 
Two years ago a Houston doctor was lured by an undercover police officer behind a public restroom in a local park where the doctor dropped his drawers and, how does one say... Um... Rapidly handled his penis in front of the officer. In court the doctor claimed he was on his lunch break just looking for someone to talk to. He was found guilty and sentenced to community service and two years probation. 
I remember hearing during both the 2000 and 2004 presidential elections that George W. Bush won the Evangelical vote (which is the reason we have had to suffer this President of Duh for 8 years) because he spoke their language. And what a strange language it is.
This anointing business came up a few years ago when we had a Christian Evangelical Fundamentalist as Attorney General, John Ashcroft. He would regularly anoint himself with cooking oil whenever he changed jobs.
