Entries by Rack Jite

We often hear Republicans screaming about how liberals and Obama are making this country a Hell Hole of socialist totalitarianism. Screeching about how awful it all is to taxes and put up with Negroes and immigrants going wherever they please.

They often get so livid I can’t help but toss them the old canard of Love it or Leave it.

But there is a problem with that; where can these tens of millions of Republicans go that is more to the Right than here? South Africa changed long ago, Slobvia is under UN control and anywhere in Africa is out of the question. Which pretty much leaves only the Arab Theocracies. And even they have national health care. So there really isn’t a place all these unhappy Republicans to emigrate to. Well other than Giedi Prime and Mordor.

Get on board the A Train to Giedi Prime... Line forms behind Mr. Limbaugh...

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Senator Ensign, Senator Sanford, that creepy little Jindal character... Even God's very own chosen Bimbo Sarah Palin may be in error and wrong and failed, but are human beings with not a few likable features in their package. Each can generate a bit of "it could have been me" pathos to their personalities. Which is why it so very important to ignor them and put Newt Gingrich, Rush Limbaugh and Dick Cheney on the front page of Republicans Today!

There is not one "redeeming social value" to any of these Riders of the Apocalypse. No pleasant physical features, nothing kind or pleasant or nice about them, the reek of inflated egos and represent everything that is wrong not only with Republicanism, but with the human condition as well.

But I must say even with shooting a friend in the face, there is ONE THING good about Dick Cheney; he supports Gay Marriage. I cannot find anything at all good about the other two. Please RNC, keep the images of these three nasty old white men up front and center.

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Parade Magazine has the largest circulation of any print source in America! I assume that means it is also the most reliable source of information. Just ask Marilyn or Howard Huge! So this Sunday they ran a story called Who Gets Sick In America—And Why

It gives advice on what to do concerning your health if you are Black, Hispanic, Asian, American Indian or live in the middle of nowhere where so much voting goes on. Here is the advice on the latter:

If you’re Living in rural America You are more likely to:

Have difficulty accessing good medical care
Abuse alcohol, starting at a young age
Use methamphetamine (an addictive and harmful drug)
Die from accidents        
Commit suicide

What you can do:

Find good primary care at a regional medical center; avoid alcohol and drugs; seek out a mental-health professional if you feel depressed.

So it seems these heavy voters from what Sarah Palin calls the REAL AMERICA started drinking at about 12, moved up to crank as teenagers, and if they are not killed driving on dark country roads, falling into (or out of) bathtubs or jacking up their trailers, they shoot themselves.

What the story misses is that according to Kensey, about 40% of these Republican voting rural Real Americans also have sex with animals. Where do you think Swine Flu, Chicken Flu and Horse Flu come from? The article also missed snake handling, combines and monster trucks. And you know, if it were not for REAL AMERICANS in REAL AMERICA I wouldn't feel as smart as I do.

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Religious Right Evangelical Christian Governor Mark Sanford refuses to resign because King David from the Old Testicles did not give up in the face of adversity. Jon Stewart is angry that this Goy is now playing both King and Jew!

Also Rush Limbaugh yesterday blamed President Obama for Mark Sanford committing adultery. Limbaugh declared that Sanford, a good conservative Christian Republican realized that Obama is sending this nation into oblivion so what the hell, he may was well commit adultery.

Or course the trouble with that is that Sanford committed adultery over a year ago realizing that there was little reason to live what with George W. Bush as President. 20 million people listen to that fat ugly pig of a man each week?  Wow... I would guess his listeners must have picked up his morphine habit...

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It's sweet, it's Wall Street and it's OH-SO Republican!

Without having to give any handjobs himself, Bernie Madoff can sell prison handjobs, package them as derivatives, giving all prisoners unlimited handjobs - sometime in the future!

So sweet... Wall Street behind bars! So Republican it makes one want to spend a bit of tax money to issue American flag lapel pins to every prisoner in America, and Cuba...

Lapels... hmmm... Collars... Hmmm... American Flag Flip-Flop Pins!

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"And while the children of Israel were in the wilderness, they found a man that gathered sticks upon the Sabbath day. And they that found him gathering sticks brought him unto Moses and Aaron, and unto all the congregation. And they put him in ward, because it was not declared what should be done to him. And the Lord said unto Moses, The man shall be surely put to death: All the congregation shall stone him with stones without the camp. And all the congregation brought him without the camp, and stoned him with stones, and he died; as the Lord commanded Moses." Numbers 15:32 - 15:36

Quite often in our oh-so American parochial world we forget that there is almost as much religious silliness going on outside our borders as there is here. Such is the case with the recent riots in Jerusalem in response to the city opening a parking lot where people can park on Shabbat. 28 demonstrators were arrested and 6 were injured, one seriously as they threw poop filled diapers at police. It seems Orthodox Jews save up on poop filled diapers. Orthodox Jews riot for Shabbat.

Please keep in mind that this is not like eating a shrimp cocktail or having a homosexual relationship in which one is denied life after death, but where God explicitly calls for real world vigilante public execution of the people, by the people and for the people.

So with that said, the first thing that comes to mind is the restraint this group of Old Testament believers showed by not stoning to death anyone (everyone) who works on Saturday (or parks their car on Saturday or may turn on the stove to cook a chicken on Saturday)... AS GOD COMMANDS! So let's give them that! Hear! Here!

This came to me because of a series of photographs I happened upon. When we see Muslims doing what God Commands it's seldom funny what with all the body parts flying through the air, but gosh, this is just too funny to pass up. This silly story in pictures at gigapica

More on Religion Truthiness on Kick!

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Pentecostal Assemblies of God Pastor Ken Pagano got 50 more people to come to his church [200 rather than the regular 150] by declaring Bring your Gun to Church Day! Ky. pastor welcomes guns, their owners to church

None of the two hundred participants actually got to shoot anyone, but they had fun making a statement no matter. God Loves Guns.

There are many aspects of this to consider before casting judgement:

"Pentecostal" is a code word for highly educated people of Southern Heritage.

"Assemblies of God" means the same as above but with Master or Doctorate degrees who live in gated communities.

"Kentucky" is famous for...  Bourbon whiskey and Blue Grass (which is better than Panama Red or Acapulco gold I have heard).

We can assume that the EXTRA 50 people showing up came to support Affirmative Action easing up on handing out Green cards and supporting President Obama.

But most importantly, we know God has traded in his stones for a .44 "Make My Day" Magnum to deal with those who work on Sunday, women who commit adultery and those having a ham sandwich, shrimp cocktail or putting certain things in places they do not belong. BANG! BANG!

And not to forget Jesus with his low profile 9mm who so famously quipped, "If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other, smile and shoot them through the heart, 9 times."

Here in Texas we are awaiting for the Bring Your Gun to Kindergarten Day...  

America was founded upon God and Guns!  I never knew that! All this time I thought it America was founded on Reason and Freedom! But then what do I know I am neither Pentecostal or in the NRA. Which makes me an unREAL AMERICAN.

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