Entries by Newscat

Bravo! The only man in the United States who did justice to Sarah Palin's Tweets, has graciously returned with his jazz ensemble to interpret the historical words of Levi Johnston. After all, as the great baby daddy says, "You know you're a celebrity when people want to see your penis." Perhaps he is...a genius.



What an historic moment. Last evening the great starship captain and beloved actor and recording artist William Shatner agreed to read the tweets of Levi Johnston ,currently nude model, and suspected to be a genius (he says). This was not made possible by PBS. This reading of Levi Johnston's Tweets was brought to us by philanthropist Conan O'Brien. The reading closely rivals the drama of Shatner's earlier reading of Sarah Palin Tweets this summer. Shatner continues to top himself, as does...Levi. Facebook | Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article |

---

I believe I just heard the buzzer sound on Prejean's extended fifteen minutes of fame, when no one wants filthy videos of a beauty queen, she is officially yesterday's news!



The reincarnated Anita Bryant, campaigning against gay and lesbian unions since her win as Miss California is...to paraphrase a Seinfeld reference, "Mistress of her own domain" - but had apparently forgotten the video evidence. I assure you that gays and lesbians who were denied "everything but marriage" in the recent California and Maine elections won't soon forget the beauty contestant, and perhaps any influence Prejean had in the decision. She did come across as holier than thou, and as such became the darling of such groups as "Defenders of the Family" who were proud to feature her as their star speaker at an awards ceremony this evening in New Jersey. She isn't there. I suspect she's combing through her video archives.

One quick note before the more agile minds of comedian Paul F. Tompkins and Keith Olbermann take on the topic. Of late, Ms Prejean has become extremely litigious, wanting a million dollars for her de-throning, due to her habit of simply not showing up for her royal duties..for which the pageant had surgically implanted pontoons, and expected a bit more of her.

Ever the moral beacon, when she was shown the video, obviously not recognizing herself, she pulled herself up into a righteous huff exclaiming "That's disgusting!" She then squinted and looked a bit more closely at the - performer. Perhaps what may be more soul crushing for Ms All That, is that no one wants a copy of it! Facebook | Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article |

---

Imagine the flaming crash of defeat when pompous JAGoff icer and poser Tom Kennif sought to belittle a mere girl, only to find she had been a POW and more....



Gold: Weighing in on the tragedy at Fort Hood Texas,JAG officer Tom Kennif demonstrated just how impressed he is with his status. Those are the guys who spend their tour of duty in a court room, are they not? Not one to quit and assess a situation, he naturally challenged a young woman, I mean isn't it apparent that he knows more about battle induced PTSD? It might fly with his relatives or at a neighborhood get-together, but the young woman was Soshanna Johnson. If the name doesn't ring a bell, watch Worst...and see just how the JAG was slam dunked by a bonafide heroine!

FOX weighs in! Catch the insightful play between Brian Kilmeade, Peter Johnson, and Gretchen Carlson as they narrow the Fort Hood incident down to an issue concerning Muslim soldiers in our armed forces. As Freud said, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, and we've no dearth of nuts of all stripe in this country. If nothing else, Fox provides a service by reminding us of that fact daily.

Bronze: Allen West, a Republican with hopes to run in Florida has it all figured out, there's no mystery for him about what happened at Fort Hood, I do love a man of conviction! Wait until you hear what our servicemen and women are subjected to by "an enemy which is infiltrating our military." How does he know about the brain washing etc? He is a retired Army Colonel.......perhaps he speaks from personal experience, or - he's listening to the waves crashing through his own brain, which seems thoroughly washed clean of common sense, you decide. Facebook | Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article |

---

Anyone who finds Rush Limbaugh less than charming, is certain to be doubly repelled at his language. The words Ass, Ass - kissing, and an especial favorite "bending over and grabbing one's ankles" believed to be derived from porn, are frequent expressions of the spokesman for the 'new'squeaky clean..but mentally vacant Republican party.



Gold, Rupert Murdoch: Once one of the most powerful moguls in print and electronic media, appears to be crashing his own empire with petty feuds, in which some of are with people unaware that they're participating. As the feuds expand, his empire contracts. In my opinion, it has been the attraction of negative, like- minded media rating trons like O'Reilly and Glenn Beck who seem to have been drawn to him like iron filings to a magnet. Sadly, this attraction extends to viewers who often share the same gripes, or are taken in by their truth-free 'examination of the news.'

What does a man with the means to reach so very many people have to say? "We won't stop until they do!" (imagine his tongue sticking out, much like Glenn Beck's in his magazine shoot, and fingers waggling out of his ears). Who are the "They" of whom he speaks - the ones in a serious feud with Fox? Watch Worst, and see if you feel that both MSNBC pundits and the very President of the United States are engaged in Murdoch's feud, losing sleep as they pace the floor at night, plotting revenge!

Silver and Sleazy...not G-rated, Rush Limbaugh. One cannot help but wonder about Rush Limbaugh's frequent and varied use of the words describing pornographic actions and words which he sends out with unnerving frequency on his show. They inevitably refer to the word 'ass'- both the kissing of that broad target, and the action of 'grabbing one's ankles.' It's no surprise to me that he never emerged from Freud's Anal fixation stage, but to share it with listeners seems unwise..not to mention disgusting! I can beat unwise and disgusting, with the news that he is widely viewed as a leader and mouthpiece for the "New Republicans!" Ponder this, the Smothers Brothers were embattled over their mild pokes (sorry), at government so gentle they would go unnoticed today. Have we changed so much that a large group of Americans wish to listen to this foul mouthed, drug addicted millionaire as he brings filth into the minds and homes of those who claim the moral highground?

Bronze: U2, Bono and the boys, our world-conscious friends pairing with MTV earn the distinctive honor tonight, and the irony award as well. Filming the concert to celebrate the tearing down of the Berlin Wall is bringing some unwanted, and ugly memories front and center! See Worst for these stories and fresh insights! Facebook | Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article |

---

Do you have a desire to ride buses with 4,000 predominantly white, unread,ignorant countrymen and women? If not, you may find that more frightening still...were the congressmen and women who met the group, displaying less Civics knowledge than the average eighth grader, but willing to urge the group onward toward violence - and away from the facts regarding their protest of health care reform.



If you have a sense of humor, hold tightly onto it. If not, Bachmann's enormously overestimated group will scare the bejeebers out of you. Carrying signs and slogans given to them online, since no one truly knows anything about the Democratic health care reform, including their representatives. They carried enlarged photos of Dachau...the sure and certain result, they say of the Democratic 'Socialist' health care reform. I timidly submit that was not what Hitler had in mind, but any boogeyman is a good one with this group. If it weren't so pitiful and believed by the estimated 4,000, described as 'tens of thousands" by their own, Boehner's speech touting the Constitution, and reading from another document entirely would have been a comedic moment.

"We the people are thinking!" Perhaps one of the biggest lies told today, by Rep. Brown..a doctor, who went on to rally the crowd further to stop the steam-roller of socialism! It's fairly obvious that they intend to do so by any means other than pointing out that their option leaves out millions of people, and costs more money. Healthy dispute is good for a country, but when do Bachmann and pals step over the line? Eugene Robinson joins the discussion. When do harassment and threats of violence leave the arena of free speech and enter into treasonous territory? See Worst, and decide! Facebook | Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article |

---

I am not saying that they need to change in an attempt to relate to Michele Bachmann's gang of 4,000...but if they could make these simple changes, and contract a skin disease which makes them look pasty faced and white, it couldn't hurt! With the news that Michelle Obama will be taking childhood obesity on as a special concern and project, this is more important than ever!


Poll: Happy, Healthy Obamas Out Of Touch With Miserable Americans

You cannot miss the smiling, fit, good looks of the First Family. They're obviously bright, loving, close-knit, and happy - showing tremendous grace under pressure. Add to this, they're fit..who can relate to them?

Perhaps the limit is the revelation regarding the Biden romance, straight from the pouty lips of Jill Biden. Now we have to hear that even Biden has a better sex life?!!

The Onion offers some changes the First Family could make in order to fit in better with some Americans who may be feeling somewhat disenfranchised. Facebook | Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article |

---

The speech you would have heard if not for McCain staffers yelling "Get her ass off of the stage!" according to ABC. It is enacted here for you by Michael Musto - who really needs to find a good source for wigs.



This is an historic speech, or it surely would have been, if not for the meddling McCain staffers. At last Sarah Palins' speech is revealed as it is related in her newest book, and will not be lost to history. It hasn't been an easy path to bring it to us. This is the story of one small victory snatched from the jaws of defeat - and McCain staffers literally scrambling to turn out the lights in the building as she sidled ever closer to the microphone after McCain's concession. Facebook | Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article |

---

Tomorrow is when the really scary people celebrate Halloween in their own way. Tea partiers are advised to locate hiding congressmen and women and "look at the whites of their eyes"while expressing their copied talking points, advising them of the evils of health care for all.



I don't know that they'll be in hiding, but - wouldn't you? This is the folding chair and big gulp contingent which is often overestimated in numbers, and is loyal to the likes of Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck for their 'news'. They haven't read the health care bill per se, they know that it's baaaad...because two bloated and wealthy rating whores said so. If they do find a slow congressman, it's likely neither has read the bill, so they'll be on equal footing. Actually Bachmann told Republicans to go to the nations capitol, but as we're all seeing, there are Tea Party, Birther, 9/12 Republicans, and - there are so-called, moderate Republicans...the party appears to be splitting down the middle, and media is playing an enormous part. Facebook | Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article |

---

Only Glenn Beck and the 9/12'ers stand between us and another devastating attack on our country. Don't think for a minute that they're not familiar with all 2,000 pages of the health care reform bill, it's taken the place of Sears catalogs in the outhouses of leading members of the esteemed group.



Gold: Glenn Beck. I have to wonder if Beck's viewers are wearing special glasses like those in a 3-D movie which enable them to view affordable health care for all - rather than for some, as equivalent to the devastation of 9/11. He whines, then vows that he and his group won't allow a tragedy of such proportion to occur again...as if the two things resembled one another in any way. The difference, I'm quite certain is obvious even to him. I suppose I'm not welcome to remind him that indeed he had a chance to warn us of the one tragedy, when memos warning us of an Al Qaeda attack were shushed and ignored by the Bush administration and the ever-watchful eye of Fox News and Glenn Beck. Now that - and your unmitigated gall in comparing the two are truly something to cry about big boy.

Silver: Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers, WA - R. While many in Washington state don't know who she is, she's come out to further explain the crazy ass,insurance lobby, money fueled theory put forth yesterday by Virginia Foxx R-NC. In what is fast becoming a very repetitive theme, Foxx warned that we have more to fear from good affordable health care than from countries with blood on their hands and very evil intentions toward us. McMorris-Rodgers shared her laser sharp insight, explaining the similarity and difference between good health care and the 9/11 attack.. Thanks much Cathy, now pick a name and call it a career.

Bronze: Gov Tim Polenty R Minn and Rep Joe Wilson S CA. It's a hypocrite duet! It's beyond belief that elected officials can whine and blame others for their actions in office. It is President Obama's fault that the latter of the duo's wife has H1N1 - so he says...but whose fault is it? See Worst! Facebook | Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article |

---

Great news Prop. 8 defenders! We know you bear no malice toward gays and lesbians, that wouldn't be Christian. It's just that you're passionately interested in "the sanctity of marriage." Well cheer up, one man has dreamed up an amendment with you in mind, to help further seal your marriage. You should simply love it, but I'll bet you won't!



Best comeuppance California: Prop 8 raises it's head once more. Those who defend "the sanctity of marriage" by excluding others should have no trouble staying within the law themselves, if - a California man is able to collect enough signatures to add a tasty amendment to the state constitution. This law would cement the marriages you have 'under law' in a way I assure you that you've never dreamed possible!

Best hedged bet: John Fund broke a huge story on FOX news. He said he knew there was voter fraud in the New Jersey governor race. As it turns out, he really was..in the know!

Best money saving scheme: Grieving widower Lau Siu Wah couldn't see letting his departed wife's gym membership...or great frocks, shoes, or make up go to waste! Facebook | Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article |

---

Enter here all ye who fear not Pat Boone's dire warnings of pestulance in high places, twitters gone mad over the White House visitors log, and to add to the post Halloween fright, Rep Virginia Foxx will set you straight about why large insurance companies deserve to take your money and cut you loose!



Gold: The Twit Wit Club, consisting of Amanda Carpenter, Washington Times, Michael Goldfarb The Weekly Standard,Mary Katherine Ham of O'Reilly, and last but not least..the esteemed Ed Morrisey of the Hot Air Blog? They are in a twitter over the White House guest log, tweeting excitedly the names of famous and the infamous alike who are alleged to have visited the White House. Unfortunately these finely honed reporters...a-hem, failed to note a few salient facts from the White House before trumpeting a list of diverse and unlikely names such as R. Kelly and the Rev. Maurice Shabaz, in a huge mix-up and misdirection of Three Stooges proportions.

Silver: Virginia Foxx, R - N.C. My apologies to Wiccans, I refer only to the Oz version of Witchcraft. She of 'Matthew Sheppard is a hoax' fame has seen the enemy and it is we who may need medical care and lack insurance. In our haste we are endangering ourselvesand our countrymen. We are selfishly giving away our very freedoms and worse, can't you just suck it up and take one for the team? Never fear, she's championing the misunderstood, giant corporate insurance companies. They need her help and yours dear friends, and apparently she needs their - er..incentives.

Bronze: Pat Boone! He is 'In a Metal Mood' you know. All tittering aside, I'm certain he breaks some laws by inciting others to violence regarding President Obama, if not by being one of the walking dead. Still, someone has transferred his batty meanderings onto electronic media where he certainly takes the 'fun' out of Fundamental Christianity, but leaves the 'mental' intact with his imaginings of a giant roach hotel at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue which must be dealt with immediately! Facebook | Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article |

---