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Cable News says its over, Republican Scott Brown Wins with a fat old retired baseball player, Curt Schilling

Not only Fox News but MSNBC and CNN say its over, Scott Brown has won. The story that cinched it was that over the weekend Candidate Martha Coakley mistook a Red Sox for a Yankee! She corrected herself seconds later:

"Curt Schilling. A Yankee fan?" Sports commentator Dan Rea

"No. All right. I’m wrong on my…I’m wrong." Martha Coakley

Yes you heard that right. The election is over because the voters now know that Martha Coakley has lost touch with them by misspeaking in a press conference saying that Rudy Guiliani and Boston Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling were New York Yankee fans!

Over the weekend it was also found that Republican Scott Brown is indeed a crazyass Tea Bagger who claims Barack Obama is a bastard. That information was found to be negative campaigning pushing Mr. Brown even further ahead.

So keep this lesson in mind Democrats, American voters expect candidates to know their sports statistics without blinking. Knowing which men chasing balls around on television belong to which team, even 5 years ago, is what’s important.

Oh, and being forced to pay health care for people less white than they are. In fact that right there has been the first rail of all American politics since 1606.

The 28th Amendment – From this day forward ALL elections inside the borders of the United States of America will take place on the first Tuesday of November.