President Obama's first physical contains the words "use alcohol in moderation". So off went Fox News and talk radio into... Hmmm... Well I guess into what they do every day no matter...
Bill Maher is back with Seth MacFarlane no less. Point well taken of Sarah Palin giving political bloviator Rush Limbaugh a free ride for using the dreaded "R" word repeatedly because he was being satirical (though he was not being satirical) but no free ride for actual satirist Seth MacFarlane using it actually satirical. But you see, that doesn't matter because Sarah Palin's fans are THAT stupid. To top this off, the actress playing the voice of the Down Syndrome girl is an actual Down Syndrome girl who has voiced her disapproval of Sarah Palin speaking for her.
Looking back a ways it seems Republicans lose big when they choose moderate old men like Bob Dole and John McCain and win when they choose a rather stupid evangelical Christian. [We did have a smart evangelical Christian once as president but that turned out to be a miserable failure].
Did you know that if you mix up some pictures of Paul Newman in the movie "Hud" and some of George W. Bush wearing a cowboy hat it's hard to pick one from the other? W. was good looking I guess. So... Does the GOP have a good looking evangelical Christian with shit for brains?
This certainly was done well. Seems the universal humor from the State of the Union is the newly minted Governor of Virginia Bob McDonnell - under the direction of the GOP who put him up this silliness - trying to match the gravitas of President Obama's(or any president for that matter) State of the Union Speech to a joint meeting of congress. Instead it seems more like the old SILLY PARTY sketch form Monty Python. More on the Virginia Governor Ken Doll, Bob McConnell.
This video concerns the very serious matter of pouring gasoline on an already out of control system of a government elected by cash. Democracy replaced by Marketocracy makes Scott Brown becoming the junior Senator from Massachusetts seem a flea on a nanonit. The corporate biased
media
Keith Olbermann apologizes for being " a little over the top" lately, after Jon Stewart holds a mirror for him via the miracle of video. In a hysterically funny skit, Jon Stewart mimicked Olbermann's Special Comments, passion and name calling increasing with each new pair of glasses he donned. Like North Korea, Keith just wants Jon and The Daily Show to call him, again. We hope Stewart will oblige and not cause a rift in the small but-mighty left-wing media foursome.
There seems to be only two choices in this matter. That Iran is correct and these people are spies or... They are perhaps the dumbest three people in the whole frigging world.
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So far the Kick Travel agency has found only three people this mud dumb stupid; Shane Bauer, Sahah Shourd and Josh Fattal.
Speaking of hiking and hikers. It seems the attraction to climbing mountians in the wintertime is because of the excitement of possibly dying while doing so. That's what makes it so cool! So please let's hold off on the expensive rescue helicopters and such, dying on the mountain is what makes people want to do it in the first place. We should not take that away from them. Let Darwin sort it out.
I have found this type of political satire just does not fly here in Top of the World America no matter political persuasion.
This piece of satire is done perfectly, but it flies far far over the heads of those who most need to hear the message and also angers most Americans how do understand no matter.
I have tried this approach many times over the years to zero affect. It is not just about Iraq, or Afghanistan or India but most any issue of international intrigue.
The BIG ONE of course we call The Monroe Doctrine which specifies WE can do anything we want and THEY can't. Also covered by Manifest Destiny and Imminent Domain.
Here are just a few I have covered in the past.
We can have missiles on the Russian border, Cypress and Poland but they can't have them within 3000 miles of us?
How would we react if the Vietnamese came here and burned our towns?
What would we do if we had check points outside each neighborhood of men with red table clothes on they heads, carrying Kalashnikovs deciding if we could come and go?
What if Pakistan said blowing up their villages with missiles was a terrorist act and they were going to invade?
Or what if Iran said we had to get rid of all our Nukes or else?
No rhyme or reason to it, WE can YOU can't, end of story, America.
OMG! Jon Stewart nailed it. This rendition of Glenn Beck is the funniest damn thing I ever did see! Not only does Stewart nail the crazy politics, the convoluted logic, the Rube Goldberg chalkboard, the tears, the ticks and the goofy mannerisms, but it is so on the mark that we find ourselves concluding that Howard Beale seems stable compared to Glenn Beck. I am sure the writers and actors over at SNL are kicking themselves in the ass for missing this one.
A bad medical year for Mr. Beck it seems. After suffering a life threatening botched hemorrhoid operation a year ago - by the best health care system in the world - Beck is now again in surgery with a suspicious appendix. One can only wonder what President Obama had to do with this. And wonder if Hitler lives in his spleen?
No matter which Sunday morning political round table you watch, John Oliver, Sam Bee and Aasif Mandvi nail it! Great line by minority member Aasif Mandi who will present "the illusion of diversity". Hello Fox New Sunday Juan Williams!
Jon Oliver goes to the Washington DC Gay Rights rally to interview some of the participants. Compared to Glenn Beck's radical extremist hate spewing, gun totting, Tea Bagging Hate the American Government nitwits, these Gay men and women seem about exciting as Cheez Wiz. Which is probably why only the fake media of Comedy Central covered it. Who wants to see 70,000 reasonable people asking for reasonable outcomes. BORING!
Perhaps a bit too intellectually challenging for the nutcake crowd, but Colbert messes with their heads on this one no matter.
Is there any difference between Comedy Central's satirical pundit show The Colbert Report - starring comedian Stephen Colbert who pretends to be a conservative Republican nutcake AND Fox News' The Glenn Beck Show who plays a conservative Republican nutcake? The question of course is redundant and silly, but it is a double whammy as it gets to the point of both Glenn Beck and Fox News better than anything I have seen before.
Indeed, "Something Terrible IS Happening." That is the name of the series of Public Service Announcements made by Will Ferrell and friends, who felt celebrities had not come to the assistance of the much maligned and endangered Insurance Executives and CEO's, who are suffering attacks during the insurance reform for a public option that would hobble and suppress these oppressed underdogs even further.
In light of this oppression, one man stands out to say WWJD? Look into your heart. Wouldn't he support this heroic minority who are standing up to vicious and dare I say unwarranted attacks daily by those who make claims against and to them ...only to be denied?
Li Peiying was executed this week in China for financial corruption charges in which he grabbed about $14 million from his job running a few airports. It took only a few months from guilty to the executioner's bullet. Fast and Furious! Former Beijing airport chief executed for corruption
With nothing much changing in American financial oversight, with complicated SEC rules and legislation our high end gangstas learn to get around things even before they are passed. Perhaps this simple Chinese solution would help AIG, Goldman and our endless stream of Bernie Madoffs' take a little notice before the fact. After all, my American friends tell me the purpose of capital punishment is that it is a deterrent.
A simple federal bill which includes the Republican desire to not only expand executions, hurry them up with none of that appeals and Miranda crap, and put a mandatory sentencing clause into it is a sure win in Congress. Even Democrats suck up votes for crime fighting!
Jite Bill #666b - Any person found guilty of theft, robbery, fraud or monetary corruption shall receive a mandatory sentence of one year in general population prison for every $1000 taken. If the tally adds up to more years than is possible to survive, an automatic execution date will be set within one week of conviction with no appeal.
What's to not like about this! After all this is the most Christian nation on Earth, founded on the blood of the lamb and what Jesus would do! As you will remember, Mr Christ was also executed and his last words were... "Go out and found a religion based on executions in my name!" Ecrapacle 12:6
Christian Finnigan from VH1 is back to review the week's political absurdities, which of course included the Beer Summit - offending all recovered alcoholics, and not appearing exactly.....natural? Of course, Letterman continues to have fun imagining the events at that little shindig. Hearts are broken as Sarah Palin has quit her job, the better to serve the great state of Alaska, and promised her devoted fans more of her made-for-Shatner beat Tweets! Sadly, her promise to write
daily - without censorship seem to have taken a back seat, with not a peep or a tweet in the past five days, as she shops for a hockey mom shock job radio spot.
Finally! Stephen explains the downfall of Mark Sanford, Bob Livingston, Larry Craig, and ol' Newtie Gingrich. Hint: It started with the rightous and moral speaking out against that naughty boy Bill Clinton!
This weeks' Tea Parties reminded of writing this piece on Republican Tea Parties 15 years ago. Still topical as the war on drugs proceeds, Newt Gingrich is running for President, Dick Armey (who at the time called Barney Frank a FAG) is the main sponsor of Today's Tea Parties, and Tom DeLay is still disgusting...
Of Barneyfags and Bitches
" It's the most serious thing that can possibly happen to one in a battle, to get one' s head cut off." Lewis Carroll
Alice soon happened upon a very long table in the woods occupied by
three very strange characters. A droopy faced Dormouse snoozed in a
chair much larger than he seemed to belong in, while the oblivious
leader, a cherub faced gray haired individual with a large top hat,
madly ran up and down the long table kicking off whatever old things he
found in his way while a March Hare followed behind replacing the empty
spaces with what they decided were newer and much better things.
" Out with the old!" Cried the Hatter kicking away.
" In with the new!" Shouted the March Hare dropping newer and better objects in the empty areas.
" Hello." Interrupted Alice, " May I sit down?"
" No room. No room. Can' t you see we are busy making things new! We are the government and too busy for you."
" There is more than enough room. All I see is you breaking things
while that strange rabbit runs behind you dropping old lumps of coal
everywhere you' ve been. I' m sitting down anyway thank you kindly."
Alice said placing herself in a chair next to the snoring Dormouse who
after its snottering inhale, released a descending " barneyfag..."
" What is a barneyfag?" Alice inquired of the Hatter, who now with
hammer in hand was smashing flower filled vases in the center of the
table. " He sits in a chair too big for his britches, talking of
barneyfags while I speak of bitches. It' s really quite simple and just
what it seems, he means what he says and says what he means."
" I can' t really make much sense of that, but if it' s suppose to be a
poem, its poorly done. Could I bother you for a small cup of tea
please?"
" Tea? Poems? Tea and poems are for those who spend
their time thinking and reading, an awful waste of time when they could
be hammering and beating" , rhymed the Hatter who was now at the end of
the table jumping up and down on some old documents in a glass case.
Soon he moved back toward Alice and the Dormouse, pausing while the
March Hare moved a large stack of framed paintings from a chair up on
the table. Alternately, they then picked up paintings and smashed them
down over each other' s head, soon waddling about with their bodies
caged in rectangular frames.
" What are you doing to all those lovely pictures?" Alice asked.
" What we are doing is not looking at them but using them. We drink no
tea, we read no poetry and we would rather look down on you than up at
pictures. Have you not noticed how big we are up here on the table and
how very small you are down there in the chair." The Dormouse woke,
looked up, and hoisting his chair up on the table looked down on Alice
dozing off once again, " barneyfag..." .
After the table had been cleared of all the bad old things and replaced
with the newer and better things the Hatter trampled over the broken
leftovers to where Alice sat to declare, " Our ungovernment won and the
party' s begun!"
" Oh, I like parties," Alice said, " What is the party for?"
" You are not invited so it shouldn' t matter to you. This is a party
you are not welcome to. You are neither a Dormouse, nor a Hare nor a
Hatter, nor anyone else with enough value to matter."
" I am a little girl," Alice replied, " I can' t see why I can' t be included in the party."
" You may indeed be a little girl, but traveling about without your
parents is abnormal. We cater our party only to the normal such as we."
The Mad Hatter stated stretching his mouth wide with his fingers, then
extending his tongue and releasing a high-pitched " OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE"
and wetting his pants.
" I have some money for tea." Alice told him reaching into her pocket and dropping a handful of coins on the table.
" She has money! Well that changes everything. Welcome to our party.
Have some tea!" The clinking of coins and offer of tea woke the fat
little Dormouse while the March Hare reached under the table piling
large birthday cakes upon it." Then the party normal joined hands and
skipped around in circles while occasionally bending over and gobbling
up hunks of cake with their faces
singing their party song.
" A very merry ungovernment to us, to us. A very merry ungovernment to you to you..."
" Could I have a piece of cake?" Alice inquired politely.
" No. Absolutely not. The cake is ours. The coal is for you. Take all
you want." Cried the Hatter as he and the Dormouse fought over more
frosting.
" A very merry ungovernment to all to all..." They went on.
Alice soon had about enough of their rudeness and asked, " How can you
be the government and the ungovernment at the same time? It makes about
as much sense as those Tweedle brothers did."
" Our ungovernment does not answer questions unless you pay for them in advance." The Hatter replied.
" In that case let me phrase it differently. I am absolutely famished, give me some cake." Alice didn' t ask.
" Our ungovernment hears no demands, but if you wish some cake then pay for it first. Do you have cake money?"
" You just took all my money."
" That was tea money not cake money. You have no money, you get no cake."
" But I didn' t get any tea!"
" And there' s a lot more that you won' t be getting. Our ungovernment
does not give things away, especially to abnormal little girls who
refuse to work. Our ungovernment has learned that giving hungry people
food turns them into silly people who do nothing but sing and dance all
day."
" I' ll work," Alice replied, " What would you like me to do?"
" There is no work. We the government of the ungovernment are not
responsible for work that isn' t there, that is the beauty of an
ungovernment."
" Well this isn' t a very nice party and I' ll just be on my way if it' s all right with you."
"
Stop! Before you go you must be searched, that is the ungovernment
rule." The Hatter then directed the Hare and the Dormouse to hold Alice
down on the table. " What' s this?" The Hatter laughed happily. "
Contraband! An evil " eatme" cookie! This is not good news for you my
dear." He looked to his normal friends holding down the little girl
with their hands up her dress and asked. " What do we call it when
someone sits down without permission?"
" Strike one!" Screamed the Dormouse sucking his thumb.
" And what do we call it when someone demands cake without money to buy it?"
" Strike two!" Yelled the Hare smelling his shoe.
" And what do we call it when someone possesses 'eatmes' with intent to distribute?"
" STRIKE THREE!" The normal ones joyously said, " Get us a pole and OFF WITH HER HEAD!"
Will Ferrell's foray on Broadway, playing the president who was above it all for so long, promises to be well worth the price of admission - if anyone is working. Otherwise, it will just be an audience of Bank CEO's and the like.
Rene-Thierry Magon de la Villehuchet, 65, was found sitting at his desk at about 8 a.m. with both wrists slashed, NYPD spokesman Paul Browne said. A box cutter was found on the floor along with a bottle of sleeping pills on his desk. No suicide note was found. NYPD: Madoff investor commits suicide in office
Thankfully it was not a messy shot to the head, though it does lack the historic hook many of us are looking for.
Some are saying today's bankers do not have the conscience of mind their Great Depression counterparts enjoyed upon us.
In defense of today's New York finance movers and shakers, there were no high rise buildings during the worst (or best) of the jumping. Today the unprepared have no way of opening a window in these buildings. Wind shear that high can cause a fall before one is ready.
Though rather expensive, this hefty hammer can do the job. If pounding on the glass fails, the backside can by used to dig out whatever weather stripping may be holding the entire unit in. The extra expense should not be that much of an issue under the circumstances.
Die laughing funny. It makes a liberal feel guilty laughing so hard! Now 6 years later with Barack Obama a month away from the White House it has become noteworthy once again.
Fly to Baghdad where you will be issued bullet proof vests for the ride down roads filled with big IUDs (not to be confused with the birth control devices of almost the same name). 
Li Peiying was executed this week in China for financial corruption charges in which he grabbed about $14 million from his job running a few airports. It took only a few months from guilty to the executioner's bullet. Fast and Furious! 
" And what do we call it when someone demands cake without money to buy it?" 
Thankfully it was not a messy shot to the head, though it does lack the historic hook many of us are looking for. 
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