Thursday, July 24. 2008"Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii" and other lame names of kids outlawed
"A Boy Named Sue" pales in comparison with the names some parents in New Zealand have selected
for reasons best unknown. Concerned judge Roy Muffit has stepped in to stop the madness, though
Talula had to wear hers for nine years.
Nine- year- old Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii - my but it rolls off of the tongue, has asked people to call her "K" most of her life. Muffit has ruled to change her name. Unfortunately the court cannot rule to spay or neuter the parents who show such poor judgment, and one cannot help but wonder what prompted some of these doozies. Not content to memorialize the flaky thoughts which obviously inspired some names elsewhere, they hang them on their babies. New Zealand law does not allow names that would "cause offense to a reasonable person" according to the registrar, some of the other names blocked are : Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit, he said. Talula must have slipped by them. Others were inexplicably allowed, including Number 16 Bus Shelter "and tragically, Violence," he said. Go figure eh? "Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii" and other lame names of kids outlawed 
Thursday, July 24. 2008Wiccan ceremony goes wrong, woman stabs self with sword
Wiccan Katherine Gunther of Lebanon, Indiana (not pictured here) was injured while performing a ritual at Oak Hill Cemetery. Despite the setting , Wicca is a nature-based religion based on respect for the earth, nature and the cycle of the seasons.
The ceremony involved candles, incense, and the driving of a sword into the ground during the full moon. When Gunther was performing the highpoint of the ritual, she raised the sword then plunged it into her foot - truly a dramatic touch. The irony? The ceremony is performed to give thanks for a run of good luck, something which seems fleeting at best. Wiccan ceremony goes wrong, woman stabs self with sword
Wednesday, July 23. 2008Blazing crotch ends party for one man, earns jail for two pranksters
When Elliot Tuleja passed out while drinking with two "buddies", the other two thought it would be amusing to play a joke on him. Their judgement, however poor in the best of times, "may" have been pegged on faulty or jack ass. The duo liberally doused his crotch area with cologne. Considering
the aroma of some colognes, It would likely be considered assault at that point, but the boys had one more trick up their sleeves, and ignited the pungent rocket fuel. Tuleja suffered second degree burns of his testicles. There is no word as to how well he is recovering from the incident which took place in
January.
The aforementioned "pals", 22-year old Craig Pillers, a parolee, and 19-year old Jack Brent Nicholas Keiffer were just sentenced to 2 years in prison and 45 days in county jail respectively after pleading guilty to a felony great bodily injury charge in San Luis Obispo. Add this to the list of things "They" say to do, or not to do, such as : "Never wear white after Labor Day." May I suggest - " Never be the first to pass out."
Wednesday, July 23. 2008Video, Boss saved during beating and robbery by broom-wielding grandmother in Britain
Tuesday, July 22. 2008Doctor Fish will nibble on you now, this is no ordinary pedicure
She sits with the fishes, and you can too! For a mere $50. per half hour, you too can join Tracy Roberts who is having her tootsies nibbled by a type of fish called doctor fish or garra rufa.
Banish the disgusting thoughts, this is a pedicure at Yvonne Hair and Nails salon in Alexandria, VA.
Salon owner John Ho explained the reason for using this type of fish. It seems that they live in rather hot water which will not support much else in the way of plant or aquatic life. They adapted by feeding on available food sources, which often were dead, flaking skin, I suspect that is a delicate explanation. It's not so much that they wouldn't like to eat your entire foot, quite simply they can't. Being toothless, they can most easily gum away on your dead skin. Perhaps for those really difficult callous problems, piranhas could be brought in? So far 5,000 people have taken advantage of having their rough skin eaten away by the fish. Pedantic that I am, I have a pumice stone from Walgreen's which cost a dollar, and it doesn't make my skin crawl to use it. People report excellent callous removal, which is generally done with a type of razor...this is a choose your poison situation if ever one were heard. Customers report sensations from tingling to ticklish. This may be a selling point when Ho implements the next stage, a full body tank. Clients may stretch out while the fish suck and gum skin conditions such as psoriasis, and give you smooth beautiful skin....shudder. Each client must have an individual tank now rather than the communal variation with which the fish were first introduced. According to Ho the individual tanks have solved one other problem which existed with the communal tank. "At times the fish would flock to the feet of an individual with a surplus of dead skin, leaving others with a dearth of fish. It would sometimes be embarrassing for them but it was also really hilarious." said Ho, laughing all of the way to the bank. Doctor Fish will nibble on you now, this is no ordinary pedicure
Thursday, July 17. 2008Call girl who brought Spitzer down, sued over Girls Gone Wild video
We know Ashley Dupre's name because of her role in the downfall of former Gov. Eliot Spitzer, a frequent customer of the famous hooker. Many may also have seen more of her in
the Girls Gone Wild videos.
Dupre is being sued by Amber Arpaio. It seems Dupre appears in one of the infamous GGW videos wearing nothing but a towel, and giving her name as Amber Arpaio. The narrator asks if she is 18 and whether the footage can be used on the video, of course she answers yes to both questions. .We all know these films are completely spontaneous -wink. More interesting is that to prove her age in the video, a New Jersey license is shown with Amber Arpaio's name and birth date, making Dupre appear to be in her 20's. No doubt, Arpaio has had a lot of explaining to do to people who got word that she'd gone wild. Arpaio is also suing producers of Girls Gone Wild. As a result, she also wants punitive and exemplary damages "in an amount appropriate to punish and make an example of Defendants," the suit argues. That could be quite a sum of money, I'd venture a guess that GGW is good for it. This photograph dated 2007 in St. Tropez, France and obtained from MySpace on March 12 shows Ashley Dupre, 22, the woman reportedly behind the downfall of New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer, and now the defamation of the good name of Ms Arpaio's name. Call girl who brought Spitzer down, sued over Girls Gone sued over Girls Gone Wild video
Thursday, July 17. 2008Maine woman finds 8 foot Python under her jeans
Mara Ranger pulled her blue jeans out of the machine Weds. reached in to grab the rest of the load and felt something move. "I jumped back and all of a sudden it's head starts coming out of the washing machine and it looked huge," Ranger told a local Gorham, Maine TV station. The owner of
the 1800's era farmhouse immediately slammed the lid. Both police and an animal control officer turned down her plea for help. Make mental note to tell the former that you think he's carrying pot.
Fortuitously named Richard Burton of Maine Animal Damage Control did come to the rescue. When Burton donned welder's gloves and reached in, expecting a 4 foot snake...he kept pulling and pulling until he had an 8 foot and very angry Python which immediately wrapped itself around Burton's hand, cutting off the blood flow. Pythons aren't poisonous, but do kill prey with their teeth while it's trapped in their deadly hold, much like Burton was, I shudder to think what could have happened to Ranger had she blindly grabbed her laundry. Just to be safe, a moratorium on laundry might be a good idea. Burton then wrestled the scaly reptile into a plastic bag, tied it shut and brought it to Lewiston. How the snake got into the washer remains unknown. "Now that it's gone, I'm going to be checking crevasses and corners," Ranger said. "I'm going to be looking in the tub first - before and after, maybe even during, the rinse cycle." You're braver than I toots, that farmhouse would be a distant memory for me by now! Maine woman finds 8 foot Python under her jeans
Thursday, July 17. 2008Barenaked Ladies Steven Page busted for felony Cocaine and Ron Wood
"The arrest comes as the band, known for its clean image and cross-generational appeal, recently released a new album of children's songs." This guy is a lead guitarist in a rock band? This is what a lead guitarist in a rock and roll band should look like. Who just yesterday went into rehab for drinking so much whiskey straight out of the bottle that he had a 18 year old Russian waitress move in to his family home. Plutonic says his wife Jo... Perhaps Wife Jo should get a room next door to Ron at the rehab center.
Thursday, July 17. 2008Man who dressed as 6 foot penis at NY graduation must apologize
I'm sure it seemed like a good idea at the time, but few in authority were amused by a 19-year old graduate's attire. Rather than traditional cap and gown, he devised a six foot penis costume, perhaps similar to the offensive one pictured.
Calvin Morett pleaded guilty of disorderly conduct at the Saratoga performing arts center in New York, though a video has appeared on YouTube. One could credit him with knowing what and who he truly is, though a simple T-shirt proclaiming "I'm a D***" might have helped him avoid court, and ever having to say he's sorry. Man who dressed as 6 foot penis at NY graduation must apologize
Wednesday, July 16. 2008Spooky antique Florida doll, inspiration for Chuckie will see you now
There is just enough time to purchase your tickets and high tail it to the Atlantic Paranormal Society Convention July 19 and 20 in Clearwater, to see a one hundred year old legend and model for a modern movie "star." Perhaps he's more of a celebrity, albeit an inanimate one , or is he - inanimate we mean?
The murderous Chuckie doll is said to have sprung from the legends of a doll belonging to Key West artist Robert Eugene Otto, who was given the straw stuffed doll in the late 1800's. (Gee Thanks Auntie Elvira!) Robert has been a regular on Key West ghost tours for years For the legends to exist after this many years, as well as the doll, gives one pause. It's said that Otto and the doll were very close, and the boy often blamed the doll for strange events or accidents. While it isn't unusual for a child to blame imaginary friends, the doll began to frighten others to the point that it was put up in an attic room. From there, he was said to be seen staring out of the window, taunting and frightening passers-by. Spooky antique Florida doll, inspiration for Chuckie will see you now
Tuesday, July 15. 2008Streetwalking catfish on morning stroll in Florida neighborhood
Residents of the Pinellas Park subdivision, while sipping their morning coffee could glance out the window this morning and see around 30 catfish meandering by. Yes, the catfish were walking, strolling, parading, ambulating, moseying along like.....well, fish out of water.
A lawn care worker Diane Fernandez told Bay News 9 "I was like no way there's fish in the street, and I kept going further and further and seeing fish everywhere - in driveways. I've never seen anything like it.""We thought it was a prank at first," one resident said, "that maybe somebody dumped some fish, but then we realized that it was coming up from the sewer that we had so much rain last night." The residents weren't seeing things.A scientist from the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission told the TV station that "walking catfish" do indeed travel brief distances as long as they stay moist. They are sturdy creatures who live in storm drains, and when there's a lot of precipitation...well, out they come." The fish would probably be easy pickin' for opportunistic fishermen, but there's something slightly creepy and intimidating about a fish that can walk right up to you. It would be like a cow gracefully swimming up to your boat, flipping and doing a backstroke out to sea. Streetwalking catfish on morning stroll in Florida neighborhood
Tuesday, July 15. 2008Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel Split and the infamous videosJimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman split after a 5 year relationship perhaps these videos were real!
Tuesday, July 15. 2008Sex on the beach in Dubai leads to police action, 79 arrests for bare breasts, nudity
As in a previous story about Greece, we have some randy Brits to thank for the current campaign in Dubai. A couple was caught having sex on the beach, and we don't mean a fluffy bar drink.
We truly can't blame them alone, the couple merely drew attention to the hordes of Westerners from many countries who visit the popular vacation spot, but have no regard for the social mores of the Muslim city-state. Within two weeks there have been 79 arrests.for topless sunbathing, nudity, and indecent behavior. There now are undercover officers strolling on the beach, and officers in watchtowers to enforce the decency campaign. Complaints to policehave ranged from families being offended, to topless sunbathers complaining that men stare at them. "I understand that I have to respect the rules of the country," said John MacLean, a British tourist on holiday with his girlfriend. But, he added, "I am not sure if I can kiss her or touch her in public." My advice is to keep your knickers on, and your hands to yourself. Sex on the beach in Dubai leads to police action, 79 arrests for bare breasts, nudity
Monday, July 14. 2008Greek Oral Sex Competition ends in arrests
Combine sun, sand, gorgeous azure blue waters, steamy nights, and non-stop partying. You have an atmosphere which draws 15 million people a year to Zakynthos,Greece. Many are twenty-somethings from Britain. The atmosphere would encourage even those with some inhibitions to cast them to the gentle breeze, and make the rest of their year in often soggy and grey Britain a distant memory. This year will have been particularly memorable for some vacationers.
I'm certain it seemed like a good idea to participate in a paid competition. The girls would be paid whether they won or not, meet new people, and be a video star, with the competition posted on the internet...such a deal! After all, don't athletes get paid for what they do well?
Thus, the first and last annual Oral Sex Competition was born.The good news is that the women were paid. The bad news is that they needed the money for bail. The police arrested nine women for prostitution, as well as nine others and six Greek men, including two bar owners who were no doubt doing a land-office business at the time. The men were charged with "encouraging obscene behavior" a charge which boggles the mind when one considers the varied definitions of "obscene"in this country alone. Oh, and by the way don't look for the video, it's now called evidence. Greek Oral Sex Competition ends in arrests
Monday, July 14. 2008USA Suffers Second Pratfall in a row At Miss Universe Pageant For the second year in a row, America has suffered our entrant in the Miss Universe Pageant to fall down go boom. This year to add insult to injury, Communist, Marxist, Socialist, totalitarian and Evil Miss Venezuela won! Holy cow! Is this a sign? Obviously God is mad at America? What for you think? Perhaps it isn't homos and the ACLU this time but war and the NRA. Now that would be some CHANGE hey?
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 Recent Articles"Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii" and other lame names of kids outlawed
Thursday, July 24 Peeing on Obama Bumper Sticker (photo) gets Texas Woman Arrested Thursday, July 24 Jon Stewart explains the confusion between Obama and Osama Thursday, July 24 Jon Stewart does Robert Novak Corvette Hit and Run Thursday, July 24 Stephen Colbert, NaS sings his Rap song Against FOX News, Sly Fox Thursday, July 24 Wiccan ceremony goes wrong, woman stabs self with sword Thursday, July 24 New minimum wage - Worst states nobody moves to Thursday, July 24 Conservative mouthpiece Bob Novak hits pedestrian and speeds away Wednesday, July 23 Packing heat at the Boise, Idaho Zoo Wednesday, July 23 Jon Stewart with Lewis Black and the Selling of America Wednesday, July 23 Add Blog to RSSCategory Feeds  Donate to this site Get Rack Jite's eBook political humor LinksWebsites
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There were just too many disconnects in this one to let it pass.
