Bizarre News

Catharine Pierce of Boulder, Colorado continues to garden nearly nude. Last year, she tended her pansies while wearing only pasties on top, nothing on the bottom. Reviews were mixed. This March her ensemble of a yellow thong and pink gardening gloves with a bare breast has raised another controversy. Ironically, Boulder bans public nudity at Coot Lake, a gathering spot for nudists for decades, and state law prohibits exposing genitals, but the most police could do with Mrs. Pierce was suggest she put on a shirt, due to complaints by some neighbors, a suggestion she declined legally, it's not an offense to show female nipples in Boulder.

It's generally assumed that the nursing and care giver professions draw the line at sex, with reality and fantasy meeting only in cheesy costume shops, but that's not always the case. Some patients are claiming that sexual gratification should be standard care, the kind of remark likely to win you a bedpan hat in the U.S.

The Dutch nursing union has launched a campaign hoping to clarify their stance on the extra special care called " I Draw the Line Here" saying "This type of action is not part of the job responsibilities of carers and nurses." Nursing is demanding work, they can't possibly be paid well enough to fake an orgasm as well.

The nursing union was moved to act when a 24-year-old said that a 42-year-old disabled man expected her to perform sex as part of his home care, which is not surprising as she'd witnessed other nurses offering to provide him with home-delivered sex. When she refused, he filed a complaint to dismiss her on the basis that she was unfit to provide care. I assume this sentence is code for unwilling to answer a booty call for therapeutic sex.

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Urologists brace for the March rush each year when their business in vasectomies picks up by a whopping fifty per cent! Most men are reluctant or adamant in their refusal when faced with the operation, but we've underestimated them ladies. Timing is everything, basketball fans start looking forward to the operation, and uninterrupted recuperation time; just a guy, his remote control, frozen carrots or peas, and an iced medicinal beverage of choice. Somehow, it just doesn't seem as painful for that one special week in March, when the NCAA playoffs just happen to be televised... coincidence - or clever scheme? 

Canada is undoubtedly LOLROF'ing today, thanks to Sen. Jim Bunning R- Mars. Bunning as you may recall, blocked the extension on unemployment benefits, among other things, because he could. Today, he is halting the heavy duty nominations of the Assistant Treasury Secretary, Chief Agriculture Negotiator, and The Ambassador to World Trade Organization, over candy flavored cigarettes, not ours - Canada's, which happen to be banned, and I thought...none of our business.

This - is the sweet face of addiction! While it wears many faces, perhaps we should place sugar in the pantheon with meth, cigarettes, and alcohol. We're all familiar with the glass encased candy and/or toy vending boxes with miniature cranes used to manipulate and grab the bounty within. For unknown reasons, restaurants often place the large tempting boxes in the entry, just where everyone is standing cheek by jowl awaiting a table. The screeches of children who must have something from the enticing array are often piercing and always loud. They can get their little hand inside the slot where the goodies come out, but no further, though many give it their all in the effort . They couldn't gain entrance until now, when the toddler quietly slipped away from his mother's side, and managed somehow to crawl through the very small prize slot. He couldn't exit without a locksmith however. Cohen Stone of Perth found himself inside looking out - much like a sticky faced prize, in a in two-year-old sugar addicts' heaven - or prison.

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Glen Beck and his enchanted blackboard have revealed a nefarious scheme, one which elevates the looniest of conspiracy theorists to near philosophers by comparison. Rev. Jim Wallis who hopes to reason with Beck, explains how Beck has found the "code words" - namely, social justice and economic justice, which - if you follow along Beck's path, lead you straight into the arms of a communist, Marxist plot, by - you guessed it, President Barack Obama! In fact, he told church-goers to "Run if they hear those words!" Oddly, Rev. Wallis had quite a revealing experience when he physically removed those phrases from the Bible.

The scene: The Union Gospel Mission during breakfast at 8:30 AM. The stranger clad in black: A hungry self-proclaimed vampire/ space cowboy (how many youngsters haven't dreamed of that lifestyle one day). Mr. Space C'boy informed the egg and hotcake flipping staff that he was a vampire and wanted to eat people. Of course, those of you who are up on your vampire lore know that vampires crave blood, while zombies, though exhibiting little or no style, are the brain connoisseurs. The Mission staff may have had an inkling that he might be missing a few marbles by that point, but when he showed them the duct taped device on his arm after they asked him to leave, they firmly escorted him out.

Within a day of seeing the inexplicable Glenn Beck interview, Josh Green of The Atlantic found several of Eric Massa's former ship mates who describe the aggressive sexual advances he made toward them. They'd spoken of it to one another, but true to the "Peter Principle" Massa had risen to third in command, they feared repercussions if they complained or turned him in, but they're talking now!

Bill Maher, host of Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO talks with Lawrence O'Donnell about the disturbing and bizarre saga of former congressman Eric Massa. Massa is revealing sexual kinks even Bill Maher hasn't heard of, making Maher wonder how many closeted gays inhabit the congressional steam room. From my observations they later take the floor and vote against gay issues. Here's to Massa, subject of the day known for "Massa massages," "snorkeling," and other blatant sexual acts while in the Navy and beyond.

In Morning Joe's "News You Can't Use" we have one untimely revelation, and yet one more "Don't" for you speeding multi-taskers. State Sen Roy Ashburn, CA, a conservative from Bakersfield who had voted against gay issues for 14 years, didn't so much step out of the closet, as crash out. Ashburn had little choice after fetching a DUI arrest upon leaving a gay nightclub. After announcing that yes, he is gay he said it shouldn't affect his job, a theory I hope he passes along to the others in his conservative party.

How many times has this happened to you? You're whizzing down the freeway on your way to a hot date, and remember that you'd neglected to prune that all important bikini area, well that's exactly what happened to Megan Barnes of Florida. Fortunately, her EX was in the passenger seat, and happy to steer from his position. Unfortunately, neither was watching the road.

It's a wonder that Bernie Madoff could make off with $55 million dollars without anyone having a clue. It's even more amazing when we learn that Harry Makopolis  handed evidence and hard data of Madoff's scheme directly to the Securities and Exchange Commission! It now appears that they couldn't be bothered. At least two dozen Feds who are paid to pay attention to these matters have been caught and are under investigation for viewing porn at work. We're not talking about a little porn, the "team leader" managed to log in to one porn site 1,800 times in 17 days. No wonder the warnings and evidence by Markopolis didn't even register with these hard working guys, who obviously need to purchase laptops for home use. They'll probably be hanging around there a lot until they can find other jobs.

Sean Hannity leaped atop his charger suspiciously fast today! A viewer suggested (reasonably) that Sean, the little Hannity boy only liked Sarah Palin for her looks. You must see Hannity replying quickly that indeed it was her intelligence he admired, along with her gutsy greatness, of course.

If your air traffic controller sounds a bit young captain, just continue your approach to JFK, the truth is, that he's very young, possibly not tall enough to ride the bumper cars at the State Fair, but he's brought everyone in perfectly so far today, with accuracy and a bit of panache! How unfair, just because pops is an Air Traffic controller, his offspring are now banned from participating while they visit they ol' home office? As you'll hear the very young son did a great job on Feb. 16th, we presume his dad was directing him very closely. Pilots found the very young, personable and accurate voice to be amusing and professional, and had no complaints. Unfortunately for Father of the Year, others did!

As tragic as all Darwin Award stories are, an Elma,Washington man just may be a shoo-in for this year's Awards. A Gray's harbor sheriffs Deputy said Monday that the 50-year old victim had collided with a power pole on Friday night. Amazingly he was uninjured, but his car was stuck in a ditch. After phoning relatives to come help him pull the car out of the ditch., he needed to pass a bit of time and water while waiting. He urinated into a ditch. As fate would have it, What he didn't see was the live wire that he'd downed. Sadly, as is the case with all Darwin winners, he won't be able to accept the award in person.

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How do you get 5,200 people to show up on the steps of the Sydney Opera House wearing nothing but a birthday suit and a smile? If you're U.S. artist Spencer Tunick, you simply ask for volunteers. He's known world-wide for his installations using nude people. This one pictured March 1, 2010 is titled "Mardi Gras, the Base." It was commissioned by the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras and aimed to "emphasize and celebrate the sameness of individuals - regardless of their sexual preferences".

"Sold with restrictions, for breeding purposes only." That is the legal agreement between a now defunct zoo in Vancouver B.C. and SeaWorld, when they purchased Tillicum the orca or "killer whale." The agreement was a safety precaution caused by a tragic incident in the now closed Vancouver zoo, where Tillikum and two female orcas killed a trainer, before his move to SeaWorld, where a man who climbed into his tank was killed, and now the latest tragedy Wednesday with a professional trainer.

Orcas like Tillikum are worth two million dollars, due to the U.S. ban on capturing them, hence the price. They're pod animals, accustomed to living in groups, and swimming great distances. Watch the video and see the isolated tanks where he and other orcas spend their lives when they're not performing, it's the equivalent of a human staying in a small closet. Our mental balance might veer off under those circumstances.

Like most American women, 35-year old Samantha Lynn Frazier wanted to lose weight, but no more! Frazier caught a stray bullet when entering a local watering hole, though she barely felt it. Doctors phrased it more tactfully, but Frazier says it best. "I could have been dead," Frazier said. "They said my love handles saved my life."

The Pasadena Prejean is allowed to select the city she wishes to represent, but the mayor of Beverly Hills says no way and will send her back to Pasadena from whence she hailed. She selected the wrong city to take Carrie Prejean's statements to the maximum of offensiveness. She'd certainly fix the problem of gays and marriage. It's no problem at all, when you have yer solution right here in the good Old Testament, they'll be stoned to death before they can even think of marriage, if Lauran Ashley has her way! Oh yes, and that goes for her friends as well.

Apple as Net Nannies, Never! Okay, maybe a little, a token really. Apple, wishing to avoid more incidents of children finding porn apps and "offending their parents," pulled Boobie n Bikini apps from iTunes. Yay! Everyone felt safe and happy now.

Psst! Those in the know, say the iTunes store is still full of dirty, nasty, obscene porn. These are experts, we owe it to hear them out, even at the expense of a few moms and dads not sleeping well at night.

The Tony Award winning production of "Avenue Q" based upon New York puppets and twenty -somethings meeting life and love head on, may be hot stuff touring the country, but advertising posters won't be seen in Colorado Springs in bus shelters. No one need become aroused at the sight of fuzzy puppet cleavage, though you'll see it with the link, and in the video interview to follow.  Surprise! Colorado Springs is known for its political conservatism, making it a snug nest in which to headquarter conservative Christian groups.

Who'd want to see 15 men and 15 women with bare breasts, hurtling down a mountain in a toboggan? As it turns out, over 14,000 spectators turned out this year, they were expecting maybe 200. It seems that word has gotten around since last year. The rules may not be chic, but assure no one will dawdle on the way down the mountain. No tops of any kind, but you are allowed underwear, shoes, and of course a hat! This still brings an involuntary "brrrrrrrrrrrrr!"

Mark Fiore is a featured editorial cartoonist for the San Francisco Chronicle, who made an animated cartoon you will see, titled “Learn to Speak Tea Bag” last November. The satire was recently picked up and featured on National Public Radio (NPR), but things didn't start to hit the fan until he discussed it on the Fox "opinion" show “The O’Reilly Factor” with Bill O’Reilly, which I assume has a large Tea bagger viewership than NPR. Soon after O’Reilly’s show ended, the cartoonist, Mark Fiore, started to receive “death threats” from Tea Party, tea baggers. He did make a sincere attempt to reason with them via a blog entry which began, "Muslim extremist, meet Tea Party extremist. Tea Party extremist, meet Muslim extremist." I presume the reasonable approach didn't work. Fiore's later Tweets get much closer to the heart of the matter, and are quite profound, the video which seems fairly innocent now, can be seen beneath his Tweets.

It is being called everything from an invasion of privacy to fodder for child porn. The 2300 laptops given out in the affluent Philadelphia suburb were only to activate the feature with the web cam to locate lost or stolen computers. Last year it became obvious that school officials were keeping an eye on students at home, raising great concern that many had left computers open in their bedrooms, unaware that anyone could or was watching them.

What's a popular Texas Christian University student to do while visiting Breckenridge Colorado Campus on Winter Break ? Get your butt branded...isn't it obvious! Amon Cartor IV, nicknamed Chance and encouraged by friends with video cams and still photos did just that, getting Greek fraternity ,and sorority symbols burned into his ass forever!

If reality show developers were using their heads, they'd follow the dramatic stories which lead up to, then come to fruition in the Boston Filenes' basement for three frantic hours each year, when brides-to-be vie for the gown of their dreams, for thousands of dollars off - with the stamina and finesse of roller derby queens. Heaven help the groom whose feet catch a chill!

What makes a bowl of Ramen worth $100 in Tokyo? Amazingly the purveyor has customers who seem to believe the "twenty five years of experience" is worth it. He's lucky the thrifty brides from Filene's aren't popping in for a pick-me-up after the sale!