 Friday, January 9. 2009Queensland man breaks into three adult sex shops for Jungle Jane blow up sex dolls
I suspect "Jane" looks very little like this poster, except possibly in the imagination of this selective thief. The Sydney man went to considerable trouble to get the plastic and permissive dates. Perhaps he required a "virgin - why else go to the trouble to break into three shops in northern Queensland to obtain the "Jungle Jane" doll. In the end, he always dumped them in the alley after he'd blown her up and had his way with her.
I'm certain he never called either.
It's unlikely that Tarzan's reign of terror will go on much longer. Police speaking to the Cairns Post said they had been taking photos, fingerprints, and DNA samples. It's what they do, they'll get their man, and he'll have fun inventing a new crime for 'story hour' in prison, if he's smart at all. Queensland man breaks into three adult sex shops for Jungle Jane blow up sex dolls Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home 
Thursday, January 8. 2009Olbermann humor:Porn industry deserves 5 billion bail out, Hustler Larry Flynt, Girls Gone Wild Joe Francis. R pics
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Wednesday, January 7. 2009Vail Colo ski lift mishap: Man caught upside down, crowd gets Full Monty, Southern Exposure
"You have this happen to you and it's all cake for the rest of your life".That's what my friend Gar philosophized when he sent this photo today. He's right. I can personally attest that once your embarrassment quota is filled, nothing fazes you anymore..and no, embarrassment wasn't an attempt at a sickly pun, but there you have it. I'm certain he's already heard enough frozen bun and ski bum jokes to last a lifetime.
A spokeswoman for Vail, Liz Biebl confirmed that the photo of the man were indeed of the victim. The man dangled upside down from the lift,hanging by one ski boot for approximately seven minutes..which must have been an eternity. His clothing, including his all of his underwear down was stuck around his knees. I've never been so grateful that my attempts at skiing were discouraging in the extreme. This is the part I find to be fascinating. He might have been close enough for someone to hand him a coat on a ski pole to help him cover up a bit,it's difficult to tell from the photo. We do know from observers that the idea of trying to help cover him probably didn't occur to the small crowd of bystanders. They were however, extremely busy taking photos and posting them on the internet! This most definitely says something about humanity, and not the pretty side of it. That's a question for another day. Meanwhile, I have to post this photo! Vail Colo ski lift mishap: Man caught upside down, crowd gets Full Monty,Southern Exposure Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home
Tuesday, January 6. 2009Very young German children plan romantic elopement to Africa
We start the new year with one of the most romantic elopement tales I've yet to hear. Two young Germans in love were impetuous and had planned to elope. Fed up with the German winter, the future groom recalled once having visited Italy which was warm, and reasoned Africa would be even warmer.
They chose New Years Day " because they wanted to do something really special for the New Year."They grabbed the future bride's younger sister for a witness and set off. This is where our adventure falters, sputters, and grinds to a halt.You see, it didn't sound one bit romantic to the parents of the lovebirds. The groom was six years old, the bride seven, and the witness five. Police stopped them as they were about to board a train to the airport, after taking the tram to get there. They'd packed carefully. In three suitcases, they'd packed food, swimming suits and sunglasses. What more could you need? As it turns out, a fourth suitcase loaded with money wouldn't have hurt. Police spokesman Holger Jurecko said that police convinced the trio that it would be difficult to get to Africa without money or tickets. Rather than a sunny elopement, they got a tour of the police station before they were returned to their parents. We have no word as to how the parents started the new year for the youngsters. Somehow I feel this won't be the last adventure for them, even if they cannot sit for a week or two because of this one! Very young German children plan romantic elopement to Africa, foiled by police Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home
Tuesday, January 6. 2009Jackson, OH Babysitter, Nathan Beavers shot by four year old boy for stepping on his foot
Babysitting is generally thought to be one of the safer, if not well paid jobs.
Eighteen year old Nathan Beavers found out just how dangerous it can be to watch over a four year old boy. The child's name is not mentioned here lest his future as as a politician be marred I presume, or his middle name is Cheney.
Beavers and some other teens were keeping an eye on the young boy and some other children at their mobile home in Jackson. At some point, Beavers made the fateful mistake of stepping on little Sweetum's foot. This so enraged the child that he marched to the closet where the shotgun was kept, and put some buckshot into Beavers and another teen! Beavers was hospitalized with minor wounds to his arm and side. It's a very good thing Beavers didn't hold out on the kid's favorite cookies or another more serious offense. Authorities are investigating. I presume they're investigating how a four year old can manage to hold and aim a rather large shotgun! Jackson, OH Babysitter, Nathan Beavers shot by four year old boy for stepping on his foot Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home
Saturday, January 3. 2009VA bros Kashif Irfin MD, Atif Attny and families banned by Air Tran for remark, or flying while Muslim
A family party of nine Muslims, all of whom were born in the U.S. but one, were flying from Washington DC to Florida on an Air Tran flight Thursday bound for a religious retreat in Orlando.(Thanks, now I have Bruce Springsteen on a loop in my brain singing Born in the USA.) Enough of my problems - for now. The trouble started when two other passengers who apparently revolved their satellite dish-like ears atop their stretched and elongated necks, and were rewarded with what they felt could only be a suspicious and questionable remark from members of the group. The passengers dutifully reported this information before the Air Tran takeoff. The group had been cleared by the FBI,however after the passengers reported what they thought they heard, the group was told that Air Tran would not book them, and they were removed by sky marshalls. What remark could be so suspicious that the group was removed for the safety of all? Kashif Irfan, an anesthesiologist from Alexandria,VA,who was one of the removed passengers, told the Post the incident began after his brother,Atif,an Alexandria lawyer, and his brother's wife wondered aloud about the safest place to sit on an airplane. Yes, you read that correctly I'm quite certain, but can you believe it? Knowing this, I would wager that if I had brown skin, I would have been removed at gun point and shackles for the "safety" questions I have posed, often in a panicked, squeaky, and loud voice! Besides, someone passing as security has already warned us the next attack will utilize people who do not resemble the same ethnic groups as the first, which makes sense. We do seem to be on the look out for them. Everyone is under suspicion now, not only those with dark skin or nail clippers! Fly safely Irfan family. Your photos are undoubtedly next to "desperado" and "suspected terrorist" in the dictionary, but don't feel badly. This is the country which sat on the warning information for 9-11 and/or ignored it. VA bros Kashif Irfin MD, Atif Attny and families banned by Air Tran for remark, or flying while Muslim Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home
Saturday, January 3. 2009Video weird: Mike Raymond of Minn fired for sinking 200,000 dollar county payloader, clearing paths to icehousesThis is just a really really bad day at work. I hear those ice houses are really important out there,what a hot tempered boss. Eh Mike, good luck with the job hunt! Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home
Friday, January 2. 2009Edna Jester of Cincinnati, OH sues for emotional distress over kids balls tossed into her yard
Edna is seen here begging to be hand cuffed. She didn't get her wish.
Where is your boiling point? Is it rush hour traffic,obnoxious workmates? Do you wonder about people who live in parts of the world where each day they survive is amazing. Though homeless, and with scarce food or medicine, if they escape evil governments or marauding soldiers it is a good day. Hey, they should snap out of it! What if kids were tossing balls in their yard, now that's annoying, just ask Edna Jester! The 89-yr-old made the news in October when she'd had it up to "here" with the neighborhood kid's balls landing in her yard. Edna is the official Keeper of the Balls on Myrtle Avenue. She has ten at last count, and no plans to return them. This is a neighborhood where people know one another, and kids play together. The Tanis family next door mows Edna's lawn for her in the summer for free out of the goodness of their hearts. It sounds idyllic doesn't it? You haven't met Edna. Edna refused to return a football to the son of Paul and Kelly Tanis last October. They asked nicely and often. He had paid for the $15.00 ball with his own money. All they wanted was the ball back. When reasoning failed, police issued citations which she ignored. When all other options were exhausted, she was hauled to jail, something no one wanted to see happen. Of course the charges were dropped, and she was home again promptly, but that's not the end..oh no! The latest news coming just after the holidays, when one still feels the milk of human kindness is that Edna is suing Paul and Kelly. She claims to have suffered, hold on to yourselves - " emotional distress because of the balls landing in her yard". She seeks unspecified monetary damages, and while the neighbors consider it to be "very silly" they are still worried. They have five children and no money for legal defense. I believe there is a lesson to be learned here, but Charles Dickens did it much better with a fellow named Scrooge. Edna seems determined to prove that with age, wisdom necessarily does not follow, or get tossed into your yard for that matter. Edna Jester of Cincinnati, OH sues for emotional distress over kids balls tossed into her yard Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home
Wednesday, December 31. 200888 yr old Portland,OR woman gives nude intruder a squeeze in the groin to remember
This potential rapist needs to be put away for a long time if he doesn't do away with himself for loss of face, and a hurting unit. The 46 -yr old completely nude dimwit gained entrance to the unidentified 88-yr-old woman's home through a sliding door. Backing her into the living room, and pushing her face down onto a chair. It's not difficult to picture what nature boy had planned next for the much older woman.
Our damsel wasn't having any thanks. She reached behind and simply squeezed - hard! When he was able to tear free he ran. By the way, it's very cold in Portland right now, which may explain why he didn't make it back to his car in time. Perhaps he froze in a puddle, or slipped on the ice, going ass over teakettle? Either way is nice to imagine. His timing was most unfortunate..for him A county code enforcement officer just happened to be very nearby, upon hearing the call on his radio, he spotted a car near the woman's house, and passed the license information along. Troutdale police arrested the criminal. It is just a pity he can't be charged with what he intended to do. He was jailed on accusations of burglary, harassment and private indecency, with bail set at $110,000, not enough in my opinion, but perhaps he'll make new friends where he's going who like to play rough as well! I don't know her secret, but perhaps decades of squeezing fresh orange juice helps? Thank about it when you reach for the juicer. 88 yr old Portland,OR woman gives nude intruder a squeeze in the groin to remember Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home
Tuesday, December 30. 2008Odd News: Definately departed NY Attny John Jacobs still receiving cell calls in eternity
Busy defense lawyer John Jacobs was almost never without his cell, nor is he without it now. The difference is that the phone was, and is working order, which sadly cannot be said for Jacobs. His beloved Motorola T720 was sent with him into eternity fully charged, where it continues to work beautifully after three years.
John's wife Marian Seltzer, who is also a defense lawyer, pays the monthly $55 phone bill, and lest anyone forget, his number is etched into his headstone beneath the words "Rest in Peace." An irony for those who feel harrassed by their cell phones, but we're assured Jacobs wouldn't want to be parted from it now or ever. I only hope that none of those who leave voice messages are clients in crisis who haven't received the news. A call back would be a "good news - bad news" affair of the Twilight Zone variety. I so wish we knew whether it simply beeped, or played a certain song. Whatever the choice, it will forever be memorable for those present when the very first call rang in - at the end of the services for Jacobs. Son Simon laughs remembering the day, "The poor diggers, I thought they'd have a heart attack!" Indeed. Simon, his brother, and mother leave messages on a regular basis and hear "Hi. You've reached the voice mail of John Jacobs. After you hear the beep, leave a voice mail and I will return your call." As far as we know, there have been no outgoing calls. Selzer calls and keeps him up to date on matters of interest and concern. "Some people talk to God," Seltzer said. "I talk to my departed husband." Personally, I hope the battery holds a charge for an exceptionally long time. Odd News: Definately departed NY Attny John Jacobs still receiving cell calls in eternity Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home
Monday, December 29. 2008Oops: Hamilton OH firefighters in training break down Grosse familys door
The Grosse family wasn't at home at the time, or it would have been even more surprising when Deputy Fire Chief Greg Robbins directed his crew to break through the door in their most energetic life-saving manner!
The Chief truly isn't a marauding maniac. He had every reason to believe the address he'd been given was that of a vacant home, owned by the city and cleared for use in training drills. After all, when the crew arrives, there is usually some smoke or fire to verify that they have the right domicile. The Chief and crew have been apologizing profusely, and of course they will pay the $1,000 in damages. On the bright side, I'm guessing the family will get very fast response time should they ever need it. Oops: Hamilton OH firefighters in training break down Grosse familys door Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home
Saturday, December 27. 2008Prevent Teen Pregnancy With Cheerios, Hint to Palins
Parents worried by the increasingly young age at which their offspring may be having sex, would do well to heed the age old advice from grandma; make sure the kinder have a good breakfast each and every day.You may think that this is an absurd conclusion, that Cheerios - or any breakfast has the ability to slow teen sexual activity and thereby teen pregnancy but 'tis true. The connection was recently demonstrated by a Japanese survey of over 1500 people of varying ages. Their intention was to study how to reduce unwanted pregnancies,and was a success.
While breakfast seems a strange teen sex retardant, they concluded that the family environment is truly the cause of these interesting results, those who break bread together tend to be closer. I was relieved, having guessed that perhaps those who don't breakfast simply had more time to fool around before school. The average age for the breakfast club to lose their virginity is 19.4 years old, and the breakfast skippers average 17.5 years old. Please remember this is in Japanese years. I'm certain there's an American exchange rate. Another interesting finding of the survey was that the average age of first-time sex was higher for those who found their mother to be annoying. Annoying! Few mothers and fathers of teenage girls can claim the distinction of never having been annoying, embarrassing, geezers, and best kept where they can't be viewed by friends. If you are fortunate, it is a stage, she grows out of it within 20-30 years. If you haven't experienced it,consider yourself blessed. With the nuptials that we presume are upcoming in the Palin household, because of a baby produced by two teens, one cannot help but wonder.Has that showcase of a kitchen ever hosted a family breakfast, lunch, or dinner...aside from the moose stew-stirring interview Palin conducted courtesy of Grandpa? Could Sarah have issues with her teen daughter? If so, I hope they take the hint, there seems to be an entire passel of Palins, all of whom need their mother's touch each day, right there in Wasilla! Nice try wasn't it? Prevent Teen Pregnancy With Cheerios, Hint to Palins Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home
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