Monday, August 11. 2008

Man claims to be inspector, demands free Adult Videos

Co man demands adult videos claims to be inspector

What to do when you've gone through all of your favorite videos, and are too cheap to rent more? It's simple - much like the clever devil who came up with this idea. In Longmont, Colorado the man pictured tried his ploy three times within nine days last month, each time telling store owners that he needed copies of the X-rated videos, "to make sure the performers were of legal age." (what a guy!) Each time he struck out. It sounds as if people who work in this business aren't easily taken in, or impressed with fake credentials.

"Inspector X" showed a badge and left a business card from the Longmont police "age verification unit." The Longmont police Commander explained that there is no such unit, though Cmdr. Tim Lewis did give Officer X credit for being inventive. Unfortunately for him, he's also oblivious to surveillance cameras. It shouldn't be long before police bump into him. Perhaps he can then convince them to institute an "age verification program."- perhaps as part of his probation? Man claims to be inspector, demands free Adult Videos

Posted by Newscat in Bad Boys at 22:26

Monday, August 11. 2008

Batavia NY Bridegroom's Wife Forgot Legal Order, They Honeymoon Alone

Batavia NY groom too close to bride order of protection still in effect

Pictured is an appropriate Groom's Cake?

With all of the hustle and bustle of planning a wedding it's easy for the bride, in this case also the ex-wife of the groom to forget a detail or two. One detail in particular led to a less than auspicious second walk down the aisle with her formerly ex, now current husband Timothy Cole.

All would have gone well had hot-headed anger management drop-out (just guessing) Cole gotten into an altercation with a guest after the ceremony. Officers, recognizing Cole's face ran a quick check revealing the key detail the bride had forgotten. Her list should have read:Pick up dress, order kegs, and most importantly, have order of protection lifted on Timothy. Police picked up on the oversight...presumably a relic of their initial break-up.

Cole has been charged, and is being held without bail. I hope he took a good mug shot. One thing is certain, their wedding album won't be just like everyone else's! Batavia NY Bridegroom's Wife Forgot Legal Order, they honeymoon alone

Posted by Newscat in Bizarre News at 20:33

Monday, August 11. 2008

Scientologist Issac Hayes - Where is he now?

issac hays south park chef Issac Hayes passed away this week which brings to mind a few pet issues of mine. First off just where do Scientologists go when the body stops. Do they go to the reasonable Heaven where streets of gold defy gravity and people with wings enjoy sexual romping with 72 virgins at a time?

Looking it up on Google I found that Scientologists do not follow reasonable logic in this and they come back to life as other life forms. In fact L. Ron Hubbard himself was once a clam. I will never see a tray of raw oysters the same again... Which one is Issac I will wonder. Or L. Ron himself?

Mr Hayes popularity became resurgent in 1999 as the wise womanizer "Chef" on the Comedy Central cartoon hit South Park. Though after years of making fun of Christians, Mormons, Jews and Muslims Hayes quit when the writers made fun of Scientologists. Which kind of defines the depth of his intellect.

In the recent eulogies I have read he is not only the father of Disco but Rap as well! Wow, he helped change our culture by replacing rock, rhythm and blues, soul and Motown with mindless repetitive rhythms set to shallow lyrics so shallow people had cause to get dressed up and go dancing (and snorting). Which in turn led to even more repetitive rhythms - no longer played by people with musical instruments or talent of any sort other than rhyming things with suck - set to Godawful filthy lyrics of bigotry, sexism, hate, shooting, killing, beating and revenge. And helping the fashion industry sell everyone clothes 10 sizes too big for them while the artists keep their hands either on their balls or in that spastic gesture making fun of people with cerebral palsy.

Happy as a clam, Issac Hayes will be missed.

Posted by Rack Jite in Celebrity News at 16:14 Comment (1)

Saturday, August 9. 2008

Grandma arrested for driving with 3 yr old child on roof of car in Marathon, Fla

gradnma puts 3 yr old atop car drives child endangerment Fla

Yes, the child was on the roof, somewhat like Mitt Romney's unfortunate dog Seamus, though Seamus had some protection from falling off. Grandmas are those sweet ladies who listen to you, and often allow you to do things your parents won't. I'm thinking along the lines of having a cookie before dinner, not riding on the top of the car.

Somehow, I doubt it was the three-year-old granddaughter's idea. When spotted driving around a Publix store parking lot. Grandma claimed she was driving at a "snails speed" and holding onto the childs's leg, giving her some fresh air, letting her have some fun. For all of her good intentions she's been charged with Child Abuse. Woman jailed after driving with 3-year-old on car roof in Marathon, Fla

Posted by Newscat in Bizarre News at 03:12 Comment (1)

Saturday, August 9. 2008

Massive catfight leads to boob and stomach bite, tetanus, six arrests

Catfight boob and stomach bite 6 arrests moms and daughters

The brief police report which involved both State Troopers and Wayne County Sheriff's Deputies, flits over a fight between five women at an anonymous Sodus apartment building last Thursday night. Reports are frustrating in their lack of details, but do say it is the result of mother-daughter tag teams on both sides of a long running feud. I suspect Jerry Springer talent scouts are winging their way, competing with "reality" show producers as I peck this out for your edification.

The culmination of the feud came when one woman bit another on the breast and stomach. Both the Biter and the Bite-ee are mothers of the other women charged.

Ambulance attendants advised a tetanus shot for the Bite-ee. Five women from 16-47, face charges from "Rioting in the 2nd Degree, Disorderly Conduct, and for the biter...Assault in the 3rd Degree." Besides the daughters charged, one unfortunate boyfriend, in the wrong place at the wrong time was charged with Disorderly Conduct. They will all meet again in court on August 20th, when perhaps more details will be forthcoming. Meanwhile we can only guess whether it is a romantic rivalry, a breach of laundry room etiquette, or practice for big time wrestling. Massive cat fight leads to boob and stomach bite and six arrests

Posted by Newscat in Bad Girls at 02:21

Friday, August 8. 2008

John Edwards admits cheating on his wife, VP Pick in trouble

John edwards triangle of love

Democratic Presidential candidate John Edwards admitted today that he did have an affair with Rielle Hunter, a women he met in a bar while campaigning in 2006. He also hired her to make campaign videos paying her in excess of $100,000. No father is listed for the one year old love child which Edwards denies fathering. Andrew Young is said to be the father of the child. Edwards Admits Sexual Affair; Lied as Presidential Candidate

And the television spin now a few hours later? Why? Why? Why? No one can figure it out! It's beyond television pundit comprehension!

Well duh.....It's Mr. Stiffy! Come on... Gosh...

Posted by Rack Jite in Bad Boys at 14:07

Thursday, August 7. 2008

Kinky nude Craigslist tryst in Oregon

bondage assault rape kinky Craigslist meeting indecent exposure Oregon

photo caption: "Bondage for when you want a nice quiet night." P.S. Proven wrong in the following story............

The meet and swap place of the internet, Craigslist brings all kinds of the odd, weird, and potentially dangerous together with like-minded folks, as well as the hopeful....and for all appearances normal ones, and those just looking for a job or a bargain. In this case, it brought a couple together who met one another's search criteria perfectly. Much like the sweet, happy couples on the E-Harmony ads, it was a success by any standards! I'm guessing that if they've selected "their song" it may well be this old standard, with a few changes."One enchanted evening, you may meet a stranger, you may meet a stranger - make sure you're out of view."

When the newly acquainted 47-year old man and 46-year old woman selected a place for their tryst in the great outdoors, they were spotted by a homeless man attempting to pitch a tent. (Irony intended). When he spotted what appeared to be a woman being bound and raped, the good citizen called police.

Far from thrilled at being "saved" from brutality, the couple ran. Later charged with public indecency, disorderly conduct and criminal trespass, they first had to be tracked by police dogs. Why run? Simple, the man didn't want his wife to find out. She may have been clued in when he had to dig up his part of the $33,000 bail. Reported nude Craigslist tryst in Oregon

Posted by Newscat in Naughty Parts at 22:39

Thursday, August 7. 2008

Packers Dump Brett Favre to the New York Jets

new york jets brett favre

Spending half my life up Norte around Green Bay I am a lifer Packer fan. I am not sure how I feel about this yet. Angry at Green Bay for not letting him have another year, but happy for Brett to get to play for another year. I suppose I will take a year off as a Packer fan and go with the Jets this year. Jets set for Brett: Packers legend headed to New York

Posted by Rack Jite in Celebrity News at 07:21

Wednesday, August 6. 2008

Madonna to soul kiss Katy Perry on "Sticky and Sweet Tour"

Always with a flair for publicity, Madonna has methodically set things in motion for 23-year old US chart topper Katy Perry of "I Kissed A Girl" fame to join her on stage during her "Sticky and Sweet Tour" starting Sept. 11 in London.

The invitation to Perry came just after the 49-year old Diva proclaimed Perry's track "Ur So Gay" as her favorite song of the moment. We do not know whether Madonna moments vary as do dog years to people years. It is a safe bet that there will be a well videotaped tonsil toss between the two on stage, should Katy accept.

Oh so young, Perry is flattered and said she was stunned that Madge was in her fan club, saying: "It's like, you're Madonna-you don't have time to be listening to my songs." Perhaps it shouldn't go to her head, this is one case where perhaps talent doesn't count as much as song titles, and publicity value. Oh, cynical me!

This team could upstage Madonna's three-way with Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera at the 2003 MTV Awards....I'm guessing The Diva is banking on it. Madonna to soul kiss Katy Perry on "Sticky and Sweet Tour"

Posted by Newscat in Celebrity News at 00:55

Tuesday, August 5. 2008

Bathing beauty sea lion climbs aboard Pacific NW Boat twice, discovers love of sailing

bathing beauty sea lion climbs aboard craft twice

Please pass the salad turned to astonishment as the Flannery's, picnicking on an island in Puget Sound, glanced over and saw a sea lion boarding their 31 foot Catalina - utilizing the ladder, of course.

In the Pacific Northwest, the creatures often climb upon piers or position themselves so as to catch salmon, frustrating local officials. Sailing is a new occupation for them as far as we know. "When son and grandson got close (she) hid (her) head behind the lifesaver like a little kid who hides behind a curtain and doesn't realize his toes are sticking out," Flarry said.

After an hour of gently prodding the guest back into the water, she swam circles around the Catalina. Worries over, the family relaxed, with a tale to relay back at the yacht club, while their daughter snapped photos. Imagine the family's surprise when much to their great surprise, their guest was once more aboard. It seems that in the excitement, someone forgot to pull the ladder UP again!

Efforts by the entire family were fruitless. "He'd just turn his nose up to the sun and look at us like, "I'm here, so what? It was just the damndest thing." said Flarry who hasn't seen the like in years of sailing.

There's no word on the humane if impractical 5-year-old grandson's solution. He was willing to give up his very own bathtub so they could take the friendly sea lion home. Bathing beauty sea lion climbs aboard Pacific NW Boat twice, discovers love of sailing

Posted by Newscat in Bizarre News at 22:43

Tuesday, August 5. 2008

Swingers, Nudists bare all at Swingfest 2008, Hollywood, Florida

Sex Swingers Nudists convention Hollywood, Florida Swingfest 2008

Pictured are two patriotic swingers! Come on in, the water's fine.

Hollywood Florida is hosting Swingfest 2008. It is the "World's largest swinger's party" and adult trade show. Make reservations and head on down, it's not as if packing will take long.

Four days and three nights at the Westin Diplomat Resort and Spa features themed parties, hundreds of exhibitors and exhibitionists, shuttle service to a nude beach and the (a-hem) Fore-Play golf tournie. Porn stars will mingle with the 10,000 expected combined swingers and nudists, two groups which do not often combine. One such porn star is former California gubernatorial candidate Mary Carey.

Hollywood has been less than friendly toward the lifestyle in the past, closing a club in 2001, and rather pointedly replacing it with a church. Could it be that their upright moral standards can bend for the expected 1.5 million expected to fill city coffers?

The infamous "Brothel Bus" will be busy shuttling merry makers, having been purchased by Harrison's Wine Bar after the rolling brothel was put out of commission during a police crack down earlier in the summer. There will be no need to be inebriated, walking, and nude. Now that's a public service! Swingers, Nudists bare all at Swingfest 2008, Hollywood, Florida Swingers bring their convention to Hollywood

Posted by Newscat in Naughty Parts at 04:24

Monday, August 4. 2008

Enormous Penis - Erotic Art Must Go! St Petersburg, FL

Enormous Penis Erotic Art for sale St Petersburg, FL

This is the time to get in on a distress sale at an Erotic Art gallery, one man's misfortune is your opportunity!

Perhaps it's time to give the neighbors with the perennial wooden "Bloomer girl bending over" yard "art"- which paves the way for wooden windmills, spotted cows and other whimsy a run for their money. It could be an all-season piece, festive with lights at Christmas and I guarantee you'll be the only one on the block. In summer, the kids will have a great slip and slide! The artist who created the behemoth Penis simply must sell it to raise the necessary coin for his legal defense.

You may wonder what depraved acts a purveyor of erotic art must have performed. People complained about the statue outside of his (now, here's the tip off - Erotic Gallery). Newsflash! All violent crime and white collar crime has been squelched! This left the St. Petersburg Dicks time to arrest the artist and gallery owner, rather than giving him a time line to take it down. He was charged with allowing a nude model in a bar and for allegedly touching an officer trying to enter the gallery. Hello! Wakey Wakey! " Allowing a nude model in a bar." However you feel about enormous male penis statues, surely the irony of claiming that a nude model in a BAR is illegal must strike you as hypocritical. Are those fireman's poles in St.Petersburg bars? Enormous, Erect Penis Erotic Art Must Go - St. Petersburg,FL

Posted by Newscat in Naughty Parts at 21:33

Monday, August 4. 2008

Redneck Stonehenge-Demo-derby cars twixt Utah farms, McMansions

Redneck Stonehenge Hooper, UT farms VS McMansions demo derby cars

Pictured is local farmer and good neighbor Rhett Davis posing with his self-named "Redneck Stonehenge" built in jest for his complaining subdivision neighbors. My opinion is that stupidity is alive and well. The Ugly American needn't go abroad, some are demonstrating the unwillingness to fit in from their own back yards.

Hooper,Utah has long been a "farming community" - in the true sense of both words. Rhett Davis and his fellow farmers have watched the encroachment by subdivisions on hay fields owned by their families for generations. The new neighbors are fine by Davis. The same can't be said from the viewpoint of the newcomers. Subdivision dwellers seem to expect the same thing they left, but with a bucolic rural view.

The new neighbors soon started circulating petitions. "The people who bought the homes say, 'Well, we love looking into your yard and seeing the horses and the cattle, but we don't like the flies, and we don't like the mosquitoes,'and when I cut my field to bale it, they say, "We don't like the dust in the air,' " Davis said. Hay dust? It gets worse friends and neighbors. Topping the list on petitions,is an attempt to part farmers from their tractors! Perhaps they could go back to draft horses, they are more quiet. They also want the farmers to stop cutting hay at 9 in the evening when it's cool. I might add it's also cool at four AM, there's always a solution.

Davis hasn't been the target of the majority of ire, he says it's because he has a flexible personality and is only a part time farmer these days, but others are having a much tougher time of it. Davis took it upon himself to "mend fences" with the new neighbors. He made a more than generous offer to go in halves on a large buffer of a fence, and even provide the labor. Problem solved right? Neigh and Nay the suburbanites refused, saying it would ruin their view. Some folks would bitch if you hung 'em with a new rope.

This is where "Redneck Stonehenge" was born. In response, Davis dug three holes with a backhoe, then placed three lovely used demo-derby cars in the holes bottoms up! He did it out of good humor, and has no intention of leaving them up, claiming they can come out just as easily as they went in. He'll remove them when the mood strikes. Meanwhile, he hopes it reminds newcomers that while they are more than welcome, Hooper is foremost a farming community. It's not likely they'll forget, but I swear I hear the sound of a new petition making the rounds. Redneck Stonehenge.Demo-derby cars twixt Utah farms, McMansions

Posted by Newscat in Bizarre News at 20:05 Comment (1)

Saturday, August 2. 2008

Cheech and Chong paved way for TV and movies reflecting pot use Video

The pioneers of pot-based entertainment talk about their upcoming tour and working together.
Cheech Chong modern TV Movies Pot Use in USA Harold Kumar Weeds Pineapple Express

Posted by Newscat in Bad Boys at 00:48