Saturday, September 6. 2008Hot Pants! Real Friends Don't Light Your Jeans On Fire
In the Not Political, But I'm Sorry, It's Too Stupid Not to Share Department...
Astounding though it is, this is the second pants on fire story which has caught my eye in just the past few months. A 20-year-old Illinois man picked the wrong back yard when he passed out after a night of drinking with a "friend" who had yet to pass out. The alleged friend Joseph Hornsey, who's just one year older, thought he had a great idea for a practical joke Yuk Yuk. Hornsey lit the frayed strings on his friend's pants. The extremely sleepy victim woke just enough to put the fire out and went back to sleep...probably a better choice than flaming earth-spins. Unfortunately when he woke later it was due to pain from the blisters caused from the second and third degree burns on his leg. Hornsey isn't without suffering. He's been freed on $20,000 bond and charged with aggravated battery. Hot Pants! Real Friends Don't Light Your Jeans On Fire Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home Thursday, September 4. 2008Low Tech Iowa Credit Card Thief Signs Receipts With His own Name
Okay, so the movie version of John Dillinger he's not. The would-be thief went to a lot of trouble for a very short run of crime. Last month he took a credit card from an unlocked apartment. It was reported stolen, but it's rarely that police have a crime solve itself. During his crime spree, he bought such extravagances as a latte and some cigarettes. The Jaguar dealer must have been closed.
When the next store declined the card because it was stolen, he proved that he is no quitter. Far from concerned that he might be caught, the criminal then attempted to use it at a local deli, where police had no trouble locating him. He'd left a virtual trail of bread crumbs, instead of using the name on the card, he'd signed his own name on the receipts. Low Tech Iowa Credit Card Thief Signs Receipts With His Own Name Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home Tuesday, September 2. 2008Video-Colbert Guest: Unprecidented Economic growth in Repo Business!"We'll Miss ya buddy" (Bush)It's an ill wind that blows no good. Here we see the gleeful and dread repo man. At least our loss is his gain. and repo men have never gained as they have during the past 8 years! Cars, defibrilators,it's all fair game. His joy (almost) takes some of the sting out of losing our "stuff." Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home Sunday, August 31. 2008Former Jacksonville man who claims to be 225-yr-old vampire held in Virginia on sex charges
You'd never guess that the charmer pictured here claims to be a 225-year-old vampire named Draven.
Trivia moment:
Erik Draven happens to be the name of Brandon Lee's character in the extremely ill-fated, box office smash, the 1992 movie version of The Crow, where Lee portrayed a black-clad, undead, rock musician intent upon avenging the deaths of himself and his girlfriend. In real life during filming, he died at 28-years-old. It is said the cause was a fluke accident with a prop pistol.
Police, eager to burst Fang's bubble, say he is Jeffrey Michael Mitchell, and that his fangs are really caps. The next thing they'll say is that he's not 225-years-old. Could he have been on Social Security since it's inception? In fact, they seem to feel he is a lot closer to 30-yrs-old. U.S. Marshals say that Jeffrey really and truly believed he was a vampire, and always wore long black clothing. (as do many of us under the delusion it is slimming). U.S. Marshals weren't involved until the mother of a 4-year-old girl reported that he'd taken her child from a babysitter's home, then from Jacksonville to Virginia Beach, where upon serving the warrant, it was discovered two other young girls were living with him.Don't even think about bailing him out, the judge isn't. He's being charged with - but not limited to -sex with inanimate objects (no spousal jokes), object penetration, oral sodomy and aggravated sexual battery. Often predators walk without notice, appearing to be the most normal friends and relatives. For some reason Jeffrey didn't ring any alarm bells with the caretakers of these children. Apparently, Jeffrey...er Draven knew the babysitter, and as free to wander among the children in her care. I realize I'm a worrier, but I'd hope parents would at the very least check the babysitter and daycare centersand notice if there are any 225-year-old child-molesting vampires lounging around...but that's just me. Please call Jacksonville police at (904) 630-0500 with any other information on Mitchell. Former Jacksonville man who claims to be 225-yr-old vampire held in Virginia on sex charges Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home Thursday, August 21. 2008Video- HOT surprise from Bikini-clad barista for drive-thru perv wearing panties on head, little elseThe proliferation of bikini wearing Baristas seems to have spawned a new form of drive-thru pervert. This one in Parkland,WA had a really hot time courtesy of a barista who'd finally seen enough. Water this hot is going to leave a mark - a big, painful mark. Let's hope the doctor is possessed of some curiosity. Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home Saturday, August 16. 2008Video-Olympic Games Vs Drinking Games, Lewis Black on the History and Culture of Both"Professor Black" gives credit (where it is due) in this passionate and humorous history of the Olympic Games and traditional drinking games. Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home Thursday, August 14. 2008PA cop gets 30 days for pulling woman over for phone number, also charged with very drunk driving
Utilizing a ploy once employed by the likes of Ted Bundy and less famous nuts as well as foolish police, 32-yr old Steven Klinger, an unemployed policeman has been sentenced for an attempt to dazzle fair damsel with his authorit-i (As Cartman would say). What woman wouldn't hand over her phone number under these circumstances?
Spotting a woman in April 2007, he flipped on the red and blue lights which were mounted on the dash of his pick-up truck. Though suspicious, she stopped. She only became more leery when he asked if she had a husband or boyfriend, and gave her his phone number. Not flattered, she phoned the police in Berwick,PA and was informed that he was a part-time officer. He is a zero-time officer now. Klinger was charged with official oppression and acting outside his authority as an officer, good for 30 days of getting to know the denizens of the county lock-up much better. He was also sentenced to three more days and fined $1,000 for a drunk driving charge in July of that year. Not merely drunk, the "officer" had a blood-alcohol level of .40 five times the legal limit. Once out of jail, he's available! Currently unemployed, he had worked last for the Dallas PD in northeaster Pennsylvania. PA cop gets 30 days for pulling woman over for phone number, also charged with very drunk driving Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home Thursday, August 14. 2008Park bench lures Hong Kong man, gets stuck having sex
We've all had ideas which seemed much better at the time than they do in retrospect. A 41-year old Hong Kong man spied a saucy little bench in Lan Tian park beckoning to him. Once into his clandestine "affair" he realized to his horror that he and the bench were inextricably stuck!
Whether they believed him or were merely curious, an aide car arrived. Far from comforting, they tried to release blood from his engorged manhood to lower pressure. Failing that, they cut the bench loose and transported man and bench to a hospital. It took four hours to set him free surgically. Doctors stated that if it had been much longer they would have had no other option than to amputate his genitals. Cell phone, never leave home without it. The official diagnosis? "Lonely and disturbed" Park bench lures Hong Kong Man, gets stuck having sex Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home Wednesday, August 13. 2008E-bay watch:Wronged wife selling "Tart's Knickers" Harley coming!
Let this be a lesson to other text messaging lotharios. The wife of 22 years received a message obviously meant for someone else from stud-hubby while she was at work. Arriving home, Mr. Casual was watching a DVD but discouraging her from entering the bedroom where she found the two damning items on their bed.
hunters.annastella007 -- the wife's name on e-bay, describes the evidence in less than glowing terms."They are so huge I thought they may make someone a nice shawl or, even better, something for Halloween perhaps." She describes the empty condom package as "extra small" in size. E-bay has rules about used underwear, hence the photo of the knickers. An E-bay spokeswoman said they felt it would be therapeutic for the woman to post the photo, and so far, bidding is brisk. Far from her last sale on e-bay, her husband's Harley motorcycle is "the next item that will probably be sold on eBay at a start price of 99c and, of course, with no reserve!" Didn't I say this one bears watching. E-bay watch:Wronged wife selling "Tart's Knickers" Harley coming! Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home Tuesday, August 12. 2008Video Xenia Ohio's own Mr Unstable bathing in Burger King sinkMr. Unstable and co-workers enjoyed the show until management pulled the plug. Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home Monday, August 11. 2008Man claims to be inspector, demands free Adult Videos
What to do when you've gone through all of your favorite videos, and are too cheap to rent more? It's simple - much like the clever devil who came up with this idea. In Longmont, Colorado the man pictured tried his ploy three times within nine days last month, each time telling store owners that he needed copies of the X-rated videos, "to make sure the performers were of legal age." (what a guy!) Each time he struck out. It sounds as if people who work in this business aren't easily taken in, or impressed with fake credentials.
"Inspector X" showed a badge and left a business card from the Longmont police "age verification unit." The Longmont police Commander explained that there is no such unit, though Cmdr. Tim Lewis did give Officer X credit for being inventive. Unfortunately for him, he's also oblivious to surveillance cameras. It shouldn't be long before police bump into him. Perhaps he can then convince them to institute an "age verification program."- perhaps as part of his probation? Man claims to be inspector, demands free Adult Videos Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home Friday, August 8. 2008John Edwards admits cheating on his wife, VP Pick in trouble
And the television spin now a few hours later? Why? Why? Why? No one can figure it out! It's beyond television pundit comprehension! Well duh.....It's Mr. Stiffy! Come on... Gosh... Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! HomeSaturday, August 2. 2008Cheech and Chong paved way for TV and movies reflecting pot use VideoThe pioneers of pot-based entertainment talk about their upcoming tour and working together. Cheech Chong modern TV Movies Pot Use in USA Harold Kumar Weeds Pineapple Express Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home Wednesday, July 30. 2008High Gas Prices Spawn Cadillac Scammer in Fort Worth
An enterprising scammer found a way to beat high gas prices using the good will of other motorists. It worked like a charm right up until Officer Charles Gonzalez spotted him - hood up for the third time. Conveniently near a gas station, he would implore good samaritans to give him money or buy him gas. Gonzales found four full cans of gas in the trunk, and while investigating, yet another helpful and surprised motorist rolled up with a can of gas for the Cadillac man.
So cocky was the man that he invited Gonzalez to try to start the car, claiming the starter didn't work. It immediately roared to life, revealing an added bonus,the gas guage didn't work. A quick run revealed outstanding warrants, and earned him a free ride to the police station. Not only had he been taking advantage of people, he'd convinced them to buy the gas cans too! Rather than warning people not to help others, it merely shows there are good samaritans in Fort Worth and hopefully elsewhere. If you see me with my hood up, I assure you that I am out of gas! High Gas Prices Spawn Cadillac Scammer in Fort Worth Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home Wednesday, July 23. 2008Blazing crotch ends party for one man, earns jail for two pranksters
When Elliot Tuleja passed out while drinking with two "buddies", the other two thought it would be amusing to play a joke on him. Their judgement, however poor in the best of times, "may" have been pegged on faulty or jack ass. The duo liberally doused his crotch area with cologne. Considering
the aroma of some colognes, It would likely be considered assault at that point, but the boys had one more trick up their sleeves, and ignited the pungent rocket fuel. Tuleja suffered second degree burns of his testicles. There is no word as to how well he is recovering from the incident which took place in
January.
The aforementioned "pals", 22-year old Craig Pillers, a parolee, and 19-year old Jack Brent Nicholas Keiffer were just sentenced to 2 years in prison and 45 days in county jail respectively after pleading guilty to a felony great bodily injury charge in San Luis Obispo. Add this to the list of things "They" say to do, or not to do, such as : "Never wear white after Labor Day." May I suggest - " Never be the first to pass out." Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home Thursday, July 17. 2008Barenaked Ladies Steven Page busted for felony Cocaine and Ron Wood
"The arrest comes as the band, known for its clean image and cross-generational appeal, recently released a new album of children's songs." This guy is a lead guitarist in a rock band? This is what a lead guitarist in a rock and roll band should look like. Who just yesterday went into rehab for drinking so much whiskey straight out of the bottle that he had a 18 year old Russian waitress move in to his family home. Plutonic says his wife Jo... Perhaps Wife Jo should get a room next door to Ron at the rehab center.
Wednesday, July 9. 2008William Serrano gets 35 years for killing roommate with stinky feet
Both were roommates crammed into a small apartment with not a few others living there. They came home from a hard day of construction work, had too many beer and with a little too much of that Latin macho hot temper came the cry of "God damn Noel, do your feet stink! But your shoes on!" I am sure the command was followed by a "Who the **** are you to tell me what to do?!" So Serrano grabbed a knife to show Noel who he was. Cost him 35 years in the pokey. Man sentenced in slaying over roommate's foot odor I once had a roommate I wanted to kill over a foot issue. We had one of those bottle openers screwed to the door jam between the kitchen and the living room, both rooms had tile floors as it was during my time working offshore in the Florida keys. I was a barefoot Jimmy Buffet clone at the time and Tex was a constant beer drinker who saved money by only buying Black Label in returnable bottles. The problem was he just flat out refused to catch the top with his hand and sharp serrated beer tops littered the kitchen and the TV room. Some law of physics caused the vat majority of them to end edge up. Often caps would actually embed into my foot. Sometimes drawing blood near the toes. No amount of complaining could change Tex's habit. Tex had another even more serious habit, ketchup. On everything and I mean everything. He bought it by the case which he kept under his bed. One evening when anger got the best of me, and being from Texas, I concluded he needed to be shot. But realizing I was not actually IN Texas were that would okay, I waited until he settled in front of the TV, and then gathered up all his ketchup and locked it up in the trunk of my car. Within just a few hours I had solved the problem in a peaceful manner. Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! HomeMonday, July 7. 20082 Years in Prison for Taser Youtube Video Father and Son
This story grabbed me because I first found it along side an article about Joe Horn. States rights! What a difference 1000 miles can make to the law. In one case a father and son having a stupid time with a pretend gun (a taser) get years in state prison while 1000 miles South (of course it would be South) a man is not even indicted for shooting a couple unarmed men in the back with a real gun (shotgun). From 10 feet way after lunch on a sunny day, after he told the 911 operator he was going to shoot them and was real no nonsense happy about it. No wonder these Southern states are so touchy about states rights hey. States rights have always been and always will be the impetus for a license to kill. Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home Wednesday, July 2. 2008Naked burglar flees with homeowners tight shorts in Florida
Stuart,Florida was the scene of a strange burglary, this may not be an enormous surprise to anyone familiar with the Sunshine state.
The home's female resident was roused from sleep by the man banging on her front door with his fists - we presume. She didn't answer the door, but dialed police. Fortunately, she was no nowhere near the balcony where he then broke into the house or she would have seen the Full Monty and possibly been hurt. By the time police arrived, he had fled. Police presume he was in a hurry when he departed the scene. He had left a bicycle behind the house, his underwear, and a pair of trousers on the balcony, obviously shed just before he entered the home for some reason. The 30-year-old man was spotted walking along a road wearing a pair of tight blue shorts, snug enough to raise suspicion. After arrest, it was discovered the shorts were owned by the woman and obviously a few sizes too small. The naked thief was later charged with burglary, petty theft, criminal mischief, and trespass. Naked burglar flees with homeowners tight shorts in Florida Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home Saturday, June 28. 2008Stephen Colbert interviews Tommy Chong!Tommy Chong, a goofy stoned hippie has a better grasp of reality than both the Bush Administration and the mainstream media. Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home |
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There were just too many disconnects in this one to let it pass.
Because 23 year old Serrano stabbed 21 year old Noel Quintanilla-Vaqujero 16 times rather than shot him a dozen times you may have guessed this happened outside of Texas, which would make you wrong. Just up the road a piece in fact. How did this one go down you think?
