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Colbert: End of the World, Survivalist Dating service

If you have not yet got a taste of the new reality show DOOMSDAY PREPPERS you have to tune in. It makes the FINDING BIGFOOT people seem like quantum physicists. But unlike FINDING BIGFOOTS, UFOS and GHOSTS, this crap is like FINDING JESUS as the children are dragged down into the darkness.

In trying to find an absolute in this world I have come across only one.  100% of those who have said the world was coming to an end have been 100% wrong 100% of the time. But they persist no matter. The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout…