web analytics
Menu Close

Daily Show, Burner and Pooch, dogs and ovens with guns

dog shoots manDogs with guns are no a laughing matter. In this case the dog missed, but there are three other instances of dogs shooting and hitting their masters, one shot in the ass in fact. Four-Legged Justice: A Police Dog Discovered a Gun in a Snowbank, Then Fired the Gun

Dogs with guns are really not as much of a problem as ammo in the oven. Or a gun in the oven.  Or a gun on the coffee table between the tequila and the TV remote. Or in the cushions of the couch. Or in the toy box.

So here we have more reason to give every parent access to a database of all gun enthusiasts with their addresses. Just like sex offenders. No parent in their right mind would want their children playing in an house full of guns. Really.  I also want to know how many guns and what kind of guns. I want to be able to buy a CD with that info on it at Walmart. Or be given it by my local police. NOW, TODAY.

True Story: I once visited a friend here in Dumbutt, Texas and had to step over an AR15 on the floor. There were 3 kids under 10 playing in the room. I picked it up thinking it was a toy, nope, 30 round clip, round in the chamber. But it was okay, Lenny was a disabled veteran with PTS. And anyway, the bit bull chained in the front yard would keep it from being stolen and ending up in unsafe hands.

Some months later I got a call from the police in the middle of the night to come and claim Lenny from a convenience store nearby. They did not want to give him a DUI because he was a disabled vet with PST, which is okay. When I pulled up, Lenny rose from the curb to salute me and fell over backwards knocking over the newspaper stands.  The police were happy to hand him over to me, but asked if I would also take responsibility for the AR15 and the semi auto handgun under the seat of his pickup. I declined. So they just locked up the truck and handed me the keys.

I took Leroy home, but him on our couch and told him to stay put because if he wandered off in my neighborhood at night he would get arrested in minutes.  Before I even woke up the phone rang, it was Leroy in jail needing bond and a ride to his truck filled with guns. When I dropped him off at his truck at around noonhe was still too drunk to drive. But not too drunk to check for his assault rifle, bring it out, hold it up to cheer, “The cops didn't take me gook-killer!” But hey, he was a disabled veteran with PST, so it was okay.