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David Letterman: Top Ten Things Overheard in Hillary Clinton’s Van

David Letterman: Top Ten Things Overheard in Hillary Clinton's Van

Thanks to one of Dave Letterman’s spies, we can learn  exactly what was said in Hillary’s van. This may turn out to be an historical trip, made by one of America’s most beloved presidents. I apologize for the stab at wit.  You know that we never ‘love’ them after they’re elected.

I include this Top Ten list because of mention Dave made of Hillary’s trip in his Republican candidate video also posted today – and inquiring minds want to know the behind-the-scenes info. Just how did Hillary and her retinue pass the long, butt-numbing hours between Mexican fast food franchises? You can only play “I spy with my little eye” or ‘Slug Bug” for so long, before your seat mates begin to dance on your very last nerve.

Hillary seems to be under the impression that we won’t believe she has the ‘common touch’ unless she can endure the monotony of a long drive through the heartland. Nothing could be further from the truth. Any one of us would take the private jet option if given the choice. This is why we won’t think any less of her if Conan O’Brien’s photos prove not the result of clumsy Photoshop efforts, but true glimpses of unscheduled stops made by the Clintons..
Example: She is  seen here crowd-surfing at Coachella.  Not included from the Conan collection: Hillary enjoying a water slide (in her pantsuit), fighting for a sweater at Dress Barn, getting a tramp stamp, and enjoying a cock fight.

But…We are here to learn the Top Ten things said in the van as it sped cross-country. I cannot reveal that information or ‘SPOILER ‘will be scrawled  on my car in indelible ink in the morning. That is why you must watch the video. You will learn whether the trip was Hillary’s idea, or if she was tricked into what she calls her “Van-Ghazi” – (according to Dave). That one was for you conservatives…Enjoy.   You’ll learn what precautions the travelers took when driving through dangerous (Republican) areas, and  you’ll hear Hillary’s special version of “Are we there yet?” (Think long-term).