The folks at Funny Or Die take us behind the scenes, for a first-time look at how a new Pope is really selected, the world's top cardinals compete in a no-holds barred foot race to become Vatican City's new Pope.
A panel consisting of Father Lil' Guido, Jesus H. Christ (yes) and Sister Mary Katherine of the Lesbianite Order call the play-by-play…Please note: I only report the news. Far from the sedate decision making we might envision while awaiting the smoke to rise, the Cardinals compete in a contest of speed, strength and crafty stealth. Congratulations to (former) Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Argentina, who bested the highly competitive field.