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German Polar Bear Mistakes Woman For Elephant Seal

I comment on this story mostly because of the fun title.

The woman is in serious condition with bite marks on her arms, legs and back. BTW, the word "back" in the mainstream media usually means "ass". So…

Days later it is still a mystery why the woman jumped the fence, hopped the thorn bushes and dove 10 feet into the water to swim to the four man eating polar bears. The oldest polar bear, a known curmudgeon, bit the women repeatedly to see if it tasted of the prime rib of polar bear dinners, an elephant seal. The younger bears mostly stood around laughing at the whole debacle. 

It is unknown which malady the lady suffered: Was she retarded, mentally ill, drunk, on drugs, or did she think she was Broom Hilda on a mission of the Rings? But one thing we do know, she was too fat for this kind of shenanigans.
Did I say fat?  Well dabit, that’s what blogs are for.

Series of still photos of the German Polar Bear Attack

I am sure that if you come by here tomorrow morning there will be a video from Stephen Colbert on these BAD BEARS!