We’re riding the church bus to Hell with Samantha Bee, and some of Ted Cruz’s biggest endorsers, who hate Jewish people, gays and even Girl Scouts. First up is evangelical firebrand and America’s own Taliban spokesman Kevin Swanson. If you think the words American Taliban are hyperbole, imagine Cruz in office, as his godly man Swanson declares death to the Girl Scouts – that bastion of lesbian indoctrination! Also known as that wild, wacky inflatable arm-waving preacher, Swanson lives by WWJD (Who Would Jesus Drown). Swanson can make the Bible say the darnedest things about literally drowning Scout leaders with a millstone ’round their necks. Swanson hopes an evangelical will ascend to the office of president, so they can institute God’s laws – as they see them.
Sam injects as much humor as is humanly possible with this gruesome troop – but the extent of their madness is shocking. To think that the GOP is courting Paul Ryan because Cruz is pandering to evangelicals, and Trump is like holding nitro during an earthquake, makes me wish I’d wake up and find it’s all been a bad dream
Rev. Flip Benham bellows “the gays want you dead!” to his flock, which is bizarre, but it certainly explains why evangelicals are so stand-offish and jumpy. Meanwhile, Mike Bickle has it in for Jews. If they can’t be saved – well they’re on notice. Bickle makes no secret of his admiration of Adolph Hitler…Truly, and he is a proud sponsor of Ted Cruz.
Just remember – “Don’t you DARE carve happy faces on open wussy sores!” Pastor Kevin Swanson Honk if the thought never crossed your mind until just now.