web analytics
Menu Close

GUN SHOOTING! Funny or Die

When you are alone in the forest everyone wants to get your bullets. Don’t give them up.

And these are the smart ones.

Early one morning a few years ago I found my kind neighbor Pappy sitting at my kitchen table. He was in the last stages of Alzheimer’s and cancer. He was waiting for breakfast. I made him a couple Bays English Muffins and walked him home.  A few days later we had an incident where someone slashed the tires on all of our cars, 9 tires on 4 cars.  I blamed my daughters old boyfriend and the family blamed this website.  Who knows. But it drew out most of the neighbors and I thought it a good time to mention to them all that Pappy was wandering with Alzheimer’s and for God sakes don’t shoot him.

40 something single Billy who lives katy corner from us, in front of the police mind you, said if Pappy walked into his house he would shoot him dead, six times.
I looked around around and I was the only one showing any horror and just said “really?”
“Damn right he would be dead meat. No one comes into my house unless they are invited.”
“But he has Alzheimer’s Bill.” Don’t care. I’ll kill him.  The surprise was no one, including the police, said anything.

My fixed fat Golden Retriever named Easy has lived up to his name. He is 7 now and has yet to lift a lip or growl at any living thing. He will chase squirrels and cats (other than our cat who is his best friend) up a tree now and again, but if a cat stands it’s ground he gives it alpha status, as do most dogs.  We have a fenced off yard with 3 gates and also a way out through the garage which is our recreation room.  We have a couple twenty somethings living here so gates and doors are constantly in motion and Easy finds a way out now and again. When escaped he wanders down to the end of the block, and always comes home in about a half hour.

Last night I noticed him missing and was getting ready to go look for him when Bill came across the street holding Easy by the collar.

“Your dog came this close to getting shot just now. He had my cat up on our fence trying to kill it.”
“No Bill  he wanted it to come down play. Easy loves cats. Easy loves everything. Never even growled at man nor beast.”
“I WILL kill your dog if this happens again. I will shoot him six times.” He said patting the big  revolver tucked in his pants.

This was the same day that at about the same time Texas executed a black retarded man with in IQ of 61. The prosecutors fought hard to kill him finding ways around the Supreme Court decision that it was unconstitutional. They are happy to execute what comes down to someone who has the brain of a 8 year old child, so they could use that for their campaign ads in the next election. All the county judges and prosecutors political ads try and out do each other.  They all send the same message. Republican! Conservative! Christian family values! 100% NRA approved! Will execute anyone! It’s what gets them votes, it’s what gets them elected in Texas. Their Christian family value of executing retarded people.

gun shooting