A humorous new superPac ad parody created by Americans Against Insecure Billionaires with Tiny Hands,portrays Americans expressing concerns that Donald Trump’s tiny hands may make it impossible for the candidate to carry out the office of President of the United States. Practical considerations, such as Trump’s ability to grasp the receiver, when the phone rings at 3 a.m., and his ability to even reach ‘the’ red button are expressed among other functions of the job, which are simply out of his reach.
An actor wearing a hard hat says, “it’s time our country learned every inch of the truth.” To that end, Americans Against Insecure Billionaires with Tiny Hands is calling on Trump to release his actual measurements – hands only. “We’re not done, if Donald Trump doesn’t release his hand measurements, we’re going to keep pressing,” said Noah Heller, one of the group’s founders. While the ad is a parody, the group is very serious, and ask that viewers visit their site and sign a petition demanding that Trump release the vital dimensions.
As a side note, Trump’s tiny hands have been public domain ever since 1986, when satirical magazine SPY chronicled New York’s obsession with Trump, crafting several nicknames, but the one which has lived on is “short-fingered vulgarian.” The notoriously thin-skinned mogul has felt compelled to argue against this accusation – not the ‘vulgarian’ part, just the short fingers. Trump recently assured Americans that his – manly dimensions are ‘more than adequate’ – if one tends to feel the size of one’s hands indicate other bodily dimensions, which are unrelated to the job – I believe. While size hasn’t been a consideration in previous presidential races, 2016 has been unique.