Kick! Making Politics Fun

Does it take quarters as well as rupees?

When searching for a cash cow, sometimes all you need to do is see what natural materials are at your disposal. In this case, there are a lot of actual Sacred Cows just wandering the streets and villages of India, doing what comes naturally.

It is felt that India needs a domestic (and especially Hindu) beverage to compete with the foreign influence of Coca-Cola and Pepsi. What better way to compete with the two ten-ton gorillas of soft drinks, than for prideful Indian Hindus to embrace a thirst-quenching domestic soft drink — made with urine. Yes,
I’m afraid I did say urine, in this case from cows, who are very generous with it if you ever have seen "a cow pissing on a flat rock." as we often gauge the velocity of rainfall. Apparently Indian Hindus have long appreciated and been
recognized as world leaders in promoting the health benefits of urine. I shudder to say they have been right about many other things. No official name has been selected, but Om Prakash, the head of the department, said the drink is called "gau jal", or "cow water" – in Sanskrit. Just a tip-off in case someone offers
you something exotic to drink.

The mixture is in the final stages of development by a protective arm of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS). They are India’s oldest and as it turns out, nastiest Hindu nationalist group, so you see there is more to this than a simple competition for a soft drink, and it is not as light hearted as the story I’d initially read. The group, founded in 1925, and eight million strong intends to
cleanse India of foreign influence and promote its ideology of Hindutva or Hindu-ness. I start to doubt the sincerity and veracity of the claims knowing now that the RSS is involved, and with good reason.

In 2001, the RSS and its offshoots – which include the opposition Bharatiya Janata Party – began promoting cow urine as a cure for ailments ranging from liver disease to obesity and even cancer.They feel certain that the drinks dominance will be assured by the end of the year. Cow dung is traditionally
used as a fuel and disinfectant- of all things, in villages. Sadly, those on the bottom caste system consume dung & urine in rituals to "purify" themselves.
The beautiful people in the Bollywood Films are not consuming cow urine, of that I’m certain.

As with most unchecked Fundamentalists,. they often have been accused of what should be illegal behavior. Just last week we reported gangs of men combing the streets for women in public, chastising them for the sin of wearing western clothes and not adhering to extreme beliefs. Even worse, they’re accused of ending the lives of 67 Christians in the eastern state of Orissa last year. They organized a nation-wide boycott of foreign products, including Coke and
Pepsi last year, so you see to the RSS there is much more at stake than national pride, and a drink which offers outrageous health benefits.

In an interview with the Times of London, a spokesman reassured the British reporter," It won’t smell like urine and will be tasty, too," adding that medicinal herbs would be added and toxins removed, and it would offer health benefits, as you’ve read. No offense intended to our friends across the ocean, but anyone who can dig into a steaming kidney pie first thing in the morning has no room to talk about the potential smell of urine.

Whatever my feelings about the RSS, I do not envy the PR Firm hired to name and market this product. "Cow P U Cola, It’s the REAL Thing!" "I’d Like to Buy the World a ……well, I’m certain they’ll work it out…or else! National pride
is hanging on marketing fizzy cow piss!
India to Launch Cow Urine as Soft Drink, Competition for Coke and Pepsi. Fundie RSS Group Behind Plan