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Jimmy Kimmel asks “Name a book?”

And the answer to the question, “What was the last book you read?” comes the most prevalent answer, Dr Suess.  And they are still unable to name a book by Dr Suess.

Only 25% of people have read a book in the past year. Take the Bible, books by Bill O’Reilly and 50 Shades of Grey out of .it and I bet it’s about 10%.

But it is not all bad.  Instead of books we now read and look at pictures of what Bobo had for lunch and then yelping about it. So we are not only reading but writing!

I have read a couple novels a month now for 50 years or so. That’s a lot of books. In fact of the list of 100 greatest novels  I have now crossed off 82.

I have tried about 15 times to read the #1 novel and never got past page 23.  I bet any reader out there knows what that book is. HINT – if I want to listen to a couple drunks scream at each other I can just go to Bubba’s Ice House at 1am.

When I moved here to Texas 38 years ago I learned quite a bit in the first few months. It was important for a Yankee Salesman to win over the company region below I10 from El Paso to Mobile, along with my social life.

Rule #1.

DO NOT EVER SAY YOU WENT TO COLLEGE OR READ A BOOK.  NOT EVER.

I did well on the later but have screwed up on occasion with the former by telling crazy drunk stories they like so much by beginning with “back in college I skied down the stairs with a manikin under one arm and a gallon of shine in my thumb in the other.” The story is a winner of course but “college” was a big mistake neutering the story. And yes, I really did that. It hurt. Stitches. I did not successfully swish into the kitchen to the keg as planned.

In fact it is even a mistake to talk about a book I read to family, old friends, or people most anywhere.  It is the ultimate form of

ELITISM

Early on as a Yankee I found a simple way to win over customers and make friends down here.

Talk about my rural small town past in Oshkosh, talk about all the fishing and hunting I have done all my life, laugh at all the NWORD jokes and of course out of the blue scream “FREEBIRD” on occasion. Oh, and having guests, always pull out my hand engraved Beretta double barrel I won in a trap shoot contest.

In fact my biggest success was getting a string of 13 welding houses in Southern Louisiana by trading mudhen recipes. Cajun Country.

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