Joe The Plumber, Moron War Correspondenton January 12, 2009 at 5:13 pm
His name is not Joe, it is Samuel Wurzelbacher. Neither is he a plumber or an apprentice plumber. He became famous for asking Barack Obama how he would be taxed if he bought a plumbing company and made over $250,000 a year. Sam was a day laborer working for a plumber commanding the roto-router machine wearing those thick gloves all full of shit. Sam with less than doodeysquat was pretending to be or soon to be a wealthy plumber.
Before he even begins he has three big lies under his plunger putting him on the short list for the conservative networks to hire as a war correspondent.
With such impeccable credentials, having paid his dues in becoming a journalist and his glib pronounciations on the state of the world, he is the man of the day. Mr Republican! Second only to Sarah Fey Palin as the most popular Republican in America.
Some of his finest work from just yesterday:
“They[Israelis] can’t do normal things day to day, they get soap in their eyes in the shower, for fear of rockets, I am sure they’re taking quick showers. I know I would.”
“I am a peaceloving man, but when someone hits me, I’m going to unload on the boy. And if the rest of the world doesn’t understand that, then I’m sorry.”
“I am an expert on media bias. I was on the short end of the stick, like Israel is now.”
“I think media should be abolished from reporting. Um, you know, war is hell and if you’re gonna sit there and say uh well look at this atrocity. Well, you don’t know the whole story behind it half the time. So, um, I think the media should have no business in it.”
“I have thousands of questions but I can’t think of the right one.”