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John Kerry Cleared! Swift Boat Veterans Complete 9 Yr Investigation ONN

Swift Boat Veterans For Truth Clear John Kerry After Exhaustive 9-Year Investigation. Nixon, O'Neil make Fools of Swift Boaters ONION

It’s a GO – John Kerry is good to run for President in 2004!  This is  good news if you have a time machine. ‘The Swift Boat Veterans for Truth’ have completed nine years of painstaking research, and concluded that John Kerry was entirely honest about his military accomplishments! In fact, he was ‘One helluva great guy!” and another added, “We’d be proud to have John Kerry for our President!”

Kerry is honest, fought nobly and courageously and is cleared of any dishonesty. All doubts are settled.  The Swifties  left no stone unturned,and interviewed everyone whom Kerry passed in his voluntary tour of Viet Nam!  They feel secure that their research is complete, and that Kerry would be an excellent candidate in 2004.

How does a controversy like this begin, and change the direction of a national election?
Things are never what they seem…The following article covers the Swift Boat Controversy in detail, but here are a few of the low spots.

It’s 1971. Richard Nixon wants to crush the peace movement. Trusty aid Charles Colson pointed out young anti-war veteran John Kerry. As the most credible voice in the movement, he needed to be compromised. (sound of evil chuckles, and rubbing hands together gleefully)
The two hand picked a recent Vietnam Veteran named John O’Neil to confront the young war hero on the Dick Cavett show. O’Neil proved even more unlikable than Nixon. O’Neil was lost, whimpering, fumbling through his notes – he was the complete and total fool. Although he’d done it to himself, elephants never forget, nor did O’Neil.

Leading up to the 2004 election he organized and helped fund the Swiftboat Vets in the most ubiquitous and dishonest character assassination in American election history. This pussbag went so far over the line that as election day closed in he ran ads of grey haired old widows looking into the camera telling point blank lies and blaming Senator Kerry for their husbands deaths.

Add to this, the relentless right-wing media talking points, pounding away at the ‘dishonest’ peacenik, married to a wealthy heiress…With a big mouth, (in other words, she spoke her mind and well)  and middle ‘Merica was going to believe the duped Swift Boat Vets, never mind the facts!   Isn’t it amazing how far one man’s foiled plot, and another man’s irrational hatred can travel?