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Olbermann Worst: Arizona Glock, Sheriff Arpaio, Steven Segal

Gold: Mike Shaw, "Human shaped pile of feces,’ also the acting chair of the Republican Committee of Pima Country AZ is the ‘winner’ today. His is the area made infamous by the multiple shootings in which Senator Gabby Giffords was also a victim. Shaw, in charge of doing a bit of fundraising, eliminated bake sales, free dinners, vacations, or auctioning off a ski-do among the millions of more creative ways to make money; Shaw went right to what people in Arizona want. Apparently every citizen does not yet have a full armory. For a mere ten dollars you too have a ‘shot’ at the most tasteless and moronic prize ever offered. Kudos are due to Republican Mr. Kelly for refusing to stand with Shaw and his lame brained fund raisers.

Silver: Michele Bachmann. Do not ask how she knows, but "God has given us a treasure trove of energy!" We can fill our own needs cheaply and abundantly with enough left to gouge other countries. One little glitch. Satan has the ears of geologists and other scientific types who are familiar enemies to the Bachmanns from the evolution debate.

The overly-educated tools of the devil with their scientific equipment, continue to throw roadblocks up to prevent drilling in the Everglades, where they claim there is no oil. Until and unless Marcus and Michele are sworn in, we will live without knowing – pray that is a very long time.

Bronze:
Steven Seagal and Sheriff Arpaio. Some days are just too good for only one ‘Gold’ award, today is such a day. I would gladly watch Seagal’s ‘reality’ show if this episode were to be shown though it isn’t likely. Besides being hugely embarrassing, it would be quite gore strewn and messy, and not for the queasy.

We know Arpaio from his braggadocio regarding his tent jails where not only people convicted of victimless crimes forced to sweat it out in pink undies at Arpaio’s behest, but THOSE NOT YET CONVICTED AS WELL.

When Seagal and Arpaio teamed up to raid a home for cockfighting – because Steven hates all cruelty to animals – hilarity was bound to ensue. I’ll spoil it if I say much more, but there is an excellent chance that the alleged cock-fighter will win his lawsuit against the pair of reality jockeys. Seagal may have been a hero in the movies but a little refresher course in the operation of heavy equipment, especially in the presence of human beings and living animals, never hurts!