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Gold: Dick Cheney of Halliburton and KBR. Hobbies include other corporate interests, bribery, war crimes, and a stint as invisible sidekick to (then) President George W. Bush. Oddly, Dick’s pals in our "Justice Dept." deemed Dick to be innocent as a newborn babe of all bribery and wrongdoing.
Understandably, it was exciting when Nigeria indicted Dick and three others for bribery. He would have to face a Nigerian judge on the very charges he’d escaped here, it was a Christmas miracle. Why then is it at all surprising that the country which exports its weight in "Please to help me with my fortune" email, speaks the language of Cheney’s lawyers.
Silver: BBC announcers James Naughtie and Andrew Marr win the silver throated announcer award today, they certainly didn’t mean any harm, though the former is delightfully named for this tale of tongue-tied misadventure.
Bronze: Newspaper Al Hayat and SADQ.org featured the mind-boggling news that the Tea Party has been waiting to hear about President Obama’s religious preferences, and the lengths he will go to in order to satisfy Republicans.