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ONION: 2016 Election’s GOP Front-Runner Is ‘Shrieking White-Hot Sphere Of Pure Rage’

ONION news: GOP 2016 front-runner is 'Shrieking White-Hot Sphere Of Pure Rage'

There is a deep-seated volcano of seething fury and molten poor-sportsmanship out there! From the heartland to the hinterlands keening, wailing and pouting threaten to erupt into sobs. Only one thing can salve the open sore that is festering in the bosom of the GOP – revolt! No…Revolt and secession. Sorry, I mean Revolt, secession and selecting a front-runner for 2016…That’s it!
*Paid for by the committee to elect  ‘The Shrieking White-Hot Sphere Of Pure Rage’ and running mate ‘Dark Ominous Cloud of Racism.’