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Onion this week in History: Beatles open for The Mamas and Pappas

About the witch thing?  It is okay, here in America we did not burn witches, we just drown em and hung em.  All Americans at the time knew that witches did not float.  No wait, I got that wrong.  In concordance with general religious rationale, witches were tied up and thrown in ponds or large vats of water, if they floated they were witches, if they sank and drown they were not witches.  Witch dunking as torture and punishment rather than execution was common place at the time. It’s what they did with no radio or tv.  The enjoyment of watching people suffer, be tortured and executed.  It’s what Jesus would do.

Know your history! The Puritans left the Old World of religious federal torture and murder to torture and murder in the New World state by state.

ONION: This week in history