Onion Week in Review April 16, 2012

Eric Cantor Tossed By Bucking Mitch McConnell During Congressional Rodeo

Looking back at the GOP Primaries, about the worst that can be said about President Obama is he is a normal, relaxed man who relies on common sense, science and thinking things out to lead us forward. Which is not popular with the American Base – after all, unlike the Republican Candidate – he does not believe that Jesus lived in upstate New York, or that God lives on Planet Kolob, nor does he wear silly long underwear that we know of. And to make things even worse, President Obama has not seen Bigfoot, has not been abducted by aliens, has not been visited by ghosts and does carry a 9mm. So I don’t know how he can win an election her in the United States of Duh.  He won last time because the stock market crashed a month before the election.