Comedian Adam Carolla talks to Jimmy Kimmel about what he’d do if he were elected President. I presume his presidency would be gained via election, although he may be secretly planning a hostile takeover. Some of Carolla’s ideas for change might not win a popularity poll much less an election, although a couple of ideas would undoubtedly achieve their intended goals. Having split from ‘Dr. Drew’ there is no chance of a Vice President Drew Pinskey shouting “addiction!” at every problem from Putin to patriot fever.
I won’t be a spoiler. I’ll return after I’ve written this 100 times on the blackboard. That said, I can tell you that Adam has devised a new healthcare program. I can’t tell you the details, but it is an extension of the President’s ‘Hope and Change’ mantra – in a literal way. Let’s just say it’s a good idea to start saving coins and mending any wobbly fences with your nearest and dearest.
In this age of distracted driving and smart cars which enable the driver to devote yet more time to texting and rearranging their play lists, Carolla’s plan to increase driver alertness is ingenious! This plan will also open new job opportunities. Set your sights on being a Moose Sperm Technician…Intriguing hey? You truly must watch the video to see how diabolically clever this one is. I guarantee your eyes will remain on the road.
Spoiler Alert! I’m going to blab Carolla’s wedding dress initiative. Apparently he hasn’t watched “Say Yes to the Dress” where average brides flocking from such diverse corners as Manhattan to trailer parks in the hinterlands crowd in, along with their nearest and dearest to deliver themselves into the hands of bridal gown experts. Here they must ‘fall in love’ with a dress, which will bankrupt their extended families. The gowns run roughly from $25,000. and up. Yes, that is ‘just’ the dress, no flowers, catering, honeymoon or house payment! To be fair, some less expensive gowns languish in the back room, but rarely dance. Oddly it’s only the most expensive gowns that are worthy of such a lasting commitment. It is a necessity for their big day, which is going to be ‘perfect’ and the only party that is all about Me!Me!Me!
Clueless Adam believes that $1,000.is an obscene and unnecessary amount to pay for a dress for that special day…Although I paid $67. back in 1901, and may agree with him. He attempts to call brides on their reasoning that it’s an investment, because “our daughter will wear it at her wedding.” This is not where you want a man who reasons (rightly) that if this were the case, you’d be wearing your mother’s dress. Do you know anyone who has worn her mother’s dress – personally? Urban legends don’t count.
To correct the problem, Adam decrees that you have $1,000 to spend. For each extra $100 spent, you must fit into it for one extra year. The madman’s reasoning? “It would be funny to see women bulking up for the wedding.”
He has a point, but I’m not sure I’d vote for him.