Russel Crowe Honors John Oliver With Namesake Koala Chlamydia Ward

John Oliver, Russel Crowe, Koalas with Chlamydia, and Alaska’s Blockbuster Video stores is a wildly diverse and far-flung grouping; but they are all happily interconnected in part – by one unwashed jock strap.

In short, the story began – and we thought it ended, some months ago when John purchased items from Russel Crowe’s divorce auction as a donation to Alaska’s floundering Blockbuster stores.  The events John set in motion could not have been predicted by a psychic on mescaline. Because of John’s generosity and Crowe’s appreciation,  Alaska Blockbuster stores and sexually promiscuous Australian Koalas have a much brighter future…And if the scourge of Koala Chlamydia is wiped out in our lifetime, we have two men to thank. If Blockbuster rallies, it may be a biblical miracle.

Australia Zoo’s Wildlife Hospital – now boasts a ‘John Oliver Koala Chlamydia Ward.’   *mic drop*