Once you move from an apartment to a house the neighbor issues change dramatically. For the most part, what with air conditioning and the demise of the front porch, you will not know any of your neighbors, or know anything about them other than how they keep their lawn and what cars they drive. But you are sure to have at least one good neighbor and one bad neighbor.
The bad neighbors mostly are those who have that thing about OWNERSHIP. They own their lawn, their bushes, their trees and if anyone, including you, and God forbid your dog or cat, infringes upon that ownership, you will be held in contempt.
My bad neighbors always try the same argument with me that fails. They ask me, “What if my dog took a dump on your lawn?” I explain to them kindly that I would either give it a few days to dissipate or hose it down rather than knock on your door to show you what a shallow little twat I am.”
Not too long ago my neighbors mistakenly thought I called the cops on them for their yappy little dogs. I don’t call cops. They refused to believe me even though the police told them I did not. So they had a surveyor come out to find the fence was off by 4 inches into their property. I have a line of crepe myrtles, the Southern version of lilac trees along the fence a line, about a dozen of them. Beautiful. So she paid $500 for the survey, $2000 for moving the fence, and $1000 to chop down all the crepe myrtles. $3500 to screw me. Her mistake was that I mentioned it to all the neighbors and she is now considered a leper.
But the coup de grace was shortly afterward I was standing out on the sidewalk with the nice grandma on the other side of me when a police cruiser pulled up and the officer came out with a clipboard and asked if we knew the person in the picture of the FELONY WARRANT. I laughed and grandma said she hadnt’ in a while but she lived next too to me. Comeuppance!