Stephen Colbert: Couple to take Carnival Cruise Poop trip to Mars

mars poop tripOne good thing, on a trip to Mars in such a confined area they will only need a handgun, well I guess two handguns would be necessary to keep things in parity. But no real need for an assault rifle!

I don't know if the couple should be married though. Perhaps better to just do it as a long blind date. Or let Christian Mingle decide. Or maybe a gay couple.  17 months in a bathroom with a woman?  Hmmm… What about the makeup area?  How big is the window? How are they going to smear poop on the outside of the rocket? If poop is such a good radiation deterrent we could all save some money by smearing it all over ourselves at the beach. Weightless sex. No going out for dinner. NO KIDS! What if the woman got pregnant? Should we sent old people so if they don't make it it no one will give a crap? Can they put on a suit and go for a walk?