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Stephen Colbert, Jesus and Republicans hate water

Jesus hated water so much that whenever he found it he turned it into wine. Jesus liked to PAR TEE!

Jesus hates waterFirst it was our uppity First Lady suggesting children eat better food to fight obesity, but now this uppity totalitarian black woman has crossed the line in suggesting we all drink water rather than 12 ounce cans of soda that contain 7 spoonfuls of sugar each. Next thing you know she and that uppity husband of hers will be passing laws that try to give everyone affordable health insurance. You can be damn sure Jesus would have been against that kind of crap!

In the eyes of the enemies of children -, those who just voted to literally take food out of their hungry months to better support the Koch Brothers – suggestions of this sort are totalitarian commands from NAZI and / or MARXIST liberals and / or uppity black women.

You know who they are. They sit behind desks or windows at the motor vehicle departments, or Social Security offices, or the return department at Walmart. Black women in authority over white men. It makes a good Christian Southern white boy want an AR15 with at a 40 round clip to go with his 9mm semi auto handgun with the 20 round clip of hollow point ammo.