Stephen Colbert: Free guns handed out by Texas college student Kyle Coplen living the American Dream

“It makes me feel great! I get up in the morning with pep in my step giving out guns and living the dream!” Kyle Coplen, University of Texas Grad student on handing out free guns in Texas.

take a gun leave a gunI think that is what is meant by American Exceptionalism.

Just to give you Yankees another whiff of just how guns trump common sense down here in Dumbutt Nation.

Here in Texas after the police take an assault rifle with a 100 round drum from some nutcake acting up.  After they put him in the squad to drop him off at the funny farm for evaluation, if the slobbering nutcake was not formally charged with a crime, after he is released he can stop at Home Depot to paint himself red white and blue, stop off at the police department to to pick up his assault rifle and 100 round drum and be on his way. Sure this is Texas and all that goes without saying, but the kicker is that anyone questioning that policy will be accused of being crazy, or worse a Yankee Obama Liberal.

Of course this crap is not exclusive to Texas. The crazies from the early 1990’s, that cabal of Tim McVeigh / Michigan Militia has not only taken over the NRA but the GOP as well.

Just yesterday in Denver where legislators were only TALKING about restricting magazines to 15 rounds, hundreds of gun enthusiasts circled the building in their pickups blasting their horns in opposition. Why do we allow these obviously mentally unstable violent nimrods to run this show I don’t know. I guess it’s because we all know they are crazy enough to shoot the rest of us if don’t play along.

As to background checks / gun registration? I, like any parent with a lick of sense, want to know who the gun enthusiasts are in my neighborhood so I can keep my children out of their deadly homes. After all, children are accidentally shot ONLY in homes with guns.

As to the basic argument going on here, that the more guns there are the safer everyone is, I go back to something I wrote decades ago.
So, which scenario to you believe will cause the most death and destruction?

1) A room full of monkeys with no guns.
2) A room full of monkeys with a revolver.
3) A room full of monkeys with an assault rifle with a 100 round drum?
4) A room full of monkeys each with an assault rifle with a 100 round drum?

There you go. To deny the truth of that the same as accepting creationism, that Global Warming is a hoax and that Bigfoot is in the woods behind your house.

  • Anyone in her circle of acquaintance would tell you that the Newtown shooter’s mother was just such a responsible gun owner, who presumably had passed a respect for weapons onto her teenage son.

    • db



      The whole NRA argument falls apart if you grant me either of two propositions.

      1. Normal, rational, respectable people have relatives who’s behavior they can’t control.

      2. Anyone can be pushed to the point of violence; given enough provocation.

      • Exactly! When a gun is in the home, it can easily become the ‘go to’ solution. And as you wisely stated, anyone can be pushed to do absolutely anything, even acts they claim they are incapable of, under the right set of circumstances.

        • db

          So why aren’t we seeing this argument made more of?

  • Petrushka

    Giving out guns to the untrained and unqualified is beyond stupid but no one is giving guns to monkeys. Likening them to responsible gun owners is unnecessary and extremist rhetoric that does not serve your argument.

    • rackjite

      Monkeys don’t shoot people, gun enthusiasts do.

      In fact gun enthusiasts kill about 10,000 innocent people a year. Only gun enthusiasts as a matter of fact.

      But you are right, sugar and vinegar and all that. But try as I might, I can’t come with anything that is good or nice to say about gun enthusiasts.